Yes, they do, Laura thought, her belly tensing suddenly. “What's that?” One of the monitors began beeping.
“A mild contraction,” the nurse answered. “You've had a handful since they brought you in a few hours ago.”
“Contraction!” she rasped. “I'm only nineteen weeks along! I can't – ” Why had she frozen? What mkind of mother doesn't get a fight or flight response the second her baby is in danger? Fear had kept her in hiding in her closet that night twenty years before, staying until it was too late for grandma and grandpa, a firefighter finding her and carrying her down a long ladder from her second-story window. Of all the nights to have a sleepover with them; her mother had never been the same and, in some ways, it had killed her, too, to lose her parents like that.
So what kind of mother could Laura be if she just...froze? Instinct should have made her leap out of bed and out the door. Old trauma made her useless.
The pillow was wet before she knew it, silent tears rolling from both eyes, pooling at the bridge of her nose before spilling over. Josie came closer and took her hand.
“You did a great job, Laura,” she soothed. Mike and Dylan shared a puzzled look.
“I froze!” Laura wailed.
"Hey," Josie said, gently forcing Laura to stare directly into her eyes. "You did nothing wrong. It was totally understandable that you froze at first, but you did get started. You were trying to get out. And you did what Dylan said and you're safe now and the baby is fine."
"Is she? Are you sure?" Laura turned her attention to the nurse, who was now writing rapidly in Laura's medical chart.
The nurse looked up and smiled. "So far, so good. We need to monitor you for another day and make sure you didn't inhale too much smoke. Plus, the polyhydramnios puts the baby at risk in general, so we're running some basic tests to check on that."
Laura could see Dylan and Mike exchange a worried look. So much to tell them. A flood of overwhelm hit her, hard, like a wave of exhaustion. How could she unravel this mess? Why had she waited so long?
Was this what they felt like when they waited to tell her about them – and about their money? One day seemed to have blended into another and now here she was, both men staring at her with plenty of questions – as if she had all the answers. A flash of sympathy for their delay in confessing the truth – both times – coursed through her. Maybe she'd been too harsh. Perhaps she should have put herself in their place and tried to see their choices through her own eyes.
Or, maybe, she was just a wimp who felt trapped, now, and could only feel empathy when she experienced the torture of making a similar bad decision. She didn't like to think of herself like that, but if the baby shoe fit...
The nurse looked around the room, first at Dylan, then Mike, then Josie. Finally, she jotted something in Laura's chart and looked at her patient. "I'm going to leave now so you can rest, but a medical assistant will be in within an hour to check on you and take a few stats." Laura caught a good look at her now; almond-shaped brown eyes, dark hair, kind, plump face. About her age. Short and full-figured, fast walker, quick wrist for writing. Her name tag read "Diana."
"Rest is what she needs," Diana declared. "The cops and firefighters want to interview Laura." Her heart began to race. Why would they want to interview her?
Buh bum buh bum buh bum. Diana chuckled. "It's a mood detector, isn't it?" Really? Every emotion Laura felt was going to be tracked by the baby's heart rate? Oh, wow. That was going to be sooooo awesome as Dylan and Mike confronted her. Really. Might as well strip her naked and –
"I promise we won't stay long," Mike said gently, sitting on the edge of the bed, eyes tracking back to Laura's belly over and over.
"Me, too, " Dylan added, shooting Diana a charm-filled look. It worked; the nurse wasn't immune to his smile, and frankly, neither was Laura. A warmth, a hope, began to grow in her. Deep breath. Maybe she and the baby would be safe and fine and the three of them –
Uh. The four of them –
– would be OK.
Whoa, there. Getting ahead of yourself. You still have to face the music. The baby monitor made a series of strange sounds, like skittering bumps.
"What was that?" Mike asked, eyes filled with fear.
Laura's turn to laugh. "She's just moving all over the place."
"She?"
"The baby." Mouth open, his expression shifted, then closed off. What he had been about to ask was clear as he stopped himself, mid-reach, hand pulling back.
"You want to feel?" she offered. Tears filled his eyes suddenly, which made her own pool just as fast, and as Mike's strong palm rested on her sheet-covered belly, it felt like being welcomed home after self-imposed exile. A bit awkward yet familiar, regret tinging everything good but hope a steady presence.
"Oh!" His eyes danced as the baby shifted, the feeling tangible through Laura's stomach. "Was that a kick? It wasn't very strong."
"I just felt her first movement yesterday, so I know that was a movement, but I don't know what she's doing. A kick, a roll, Gangnam Style – who knows?" A tear trickled down Mike's cheek and landed on his t-shirt, staining the light-blue fabric dark. In that moment, she felt a tearing horror of regret, of pain, of shame for keeping this from him. From them.
"I'm so, so sorry," she choked out, voice hoarse and raw from breathing in smoke, but more from her own remorse. "I should have told you a long time ago, but I was just being stupid. I didn't know how to handle it and now I get why you didn't tell me about everything. Once you don't say anything it just...snowballs."
Dylan blinked hard and maintained his distance; unlike Mike, he seemed hardened. Which was weird, because she would have expected the opposite, that Dylan would be easier to reconnect with. "Why did you freeze?"
She didn't expect that question. More tears. "You mean in the fire – Oh! My cats!" Panic filled her again, the baby's heartbeat racing. Damn it! Staring deeply into her eyes, Mike inhaled slowly, her own body instinctively following. The act of being this connected made her heart slow down, his kind eyes extending an olive branch of forgiveness, of love and understanding.
It almost made her feel like this wasn't hopeless.
Almost.
"The baby is telling us something, Laura," Josie said, her voice pinched and worried. "Now really isn't the time. And your cats are fine and peeing all over my apartment right now. I grabbed them from the bushes and threw them in my car and took them home for Dotty to terrorize."
"Dotty'll have them in line in no time," Laura murmured. Yawn. What time was it?
"Laura?" Dylan asked, his voice gentle but firm. "What happened to your grandparents?"
Josie grabbed his bicep and pulled him aside. "Would you shut up about that? It upsets her."
"No, no, it's OK. I can talk about it. A little." The horse hooves picked up their pace but not too much. Man, she had missed these guys. Even now, here in a hospital bed, her home probably destroyed by the fire, her cats becoming subs to Dotty's dom, it felt so...right to have Mike and Dylan here.
"They died."
"In the fire?"
She nodded.
"Is that why you freaked on our first date when I talked about fire procedures in skyscrapers?" Her stomach dropped. He remembered that? She'd been nervous enough, and then he'd casually talked about how to handle fires in enormous buildings like hers. What were the chances he'd pick the one thing that terrified her the most?
And what in the hell kind of world made a fire break out in her apartment while she was pregnant?
Wait. Why had Dylan been the one to rescue her? Her turn to ask some questions.
"Why were you the one who rescued me? You live across town."
Mike and Josie turned their attention to Dylan, who blushed. Blushed! She'd never seen anything so adorable before. He looked like a bashful eighth grader. "I was on call. I woke out of dead sleep and heard your address. Ran for it and called Mike."
"In good traffic it's fifteen minutes to my house from yours, Dylan!" Laura exclaimed.
"I made it in six." Mike made a low whistling sound. Dylan grinned, proud of himself. "And that's why I have that Audi," he crowed. Josie rolled her eyes. Men.
Exhaustion seeped in some more, making Laura's eyelids feel heavy. Too much to talk about, too little energy. "I'm sorry."
"You keep saying that." Dylan held a finger up to his lips. "Shh. No need."
"One of you is the father," Laura whispered. "I had this one day where I missed my pill. Not even twenty-four hours! But it must have been enough."
"Or maybe I have super sperm," Dylan joked. Mike's glare was like a laser. Josie's, too.
Laura smiled weakly. "We need to do a paternity test and then we can – "
"No!" Mike and Dylan shouted in unison. The confused look they gave each other shifted to a strange understanding, their faces animated with shifting expressions even as they stayed silent. It was like watching two mimes have an entire, deep discussion without saying a word.
"No?" Josie said, incredulous. "What do you mean, 'no'? You have to know who the father is, for the birth certificate." Protective and defensive, Josie stepped closer to Laura, as if ready to shield her from whatever the two men had in mind. Laura, though, knew what was going on.
"You really don't want to know, do you?" she asked quietly.
Barely four hours had gone by since Dylan's phone call, and Mike had to absorb his first encounter with Dylan since their fight four months ago, seeing the two loves of his life endangered by fire, and now he had just learned that Laura was pregnant with their baby. Their baby. All three of them. He didn't want to view it as his, or Dylan's. But he had no idea Dylan felt the same way!
Pointing at Dylan, he said, "You, too?"
The smile on his partner's face was so telling, impish and serious all at once in a way only Dylan could pull off. "Me, too. She's ours. Not yours. Not mine."
Would Laura agree? Mike wasn't sure. Seeing her there, on her side, radiant and scared, made him want to bar the door and protect her from whatever the world threw her way. Radiant! Hah! Now he knew why she seemed to be glowing when he saw her yesterday at Jeddy's, through that window.
A happy pregnant woman, full of life.
Full of his child.
His daughter.
Their daughter.
"I hate to break up this lovely Hallmark moment – hey, where do I get a card for this? – but as wonderful as the sentiment is, it's not practical," Josie announced. Like poking a pin in a balloon, Mike felt deflated, burdened and weighed down by something he couldn't name.
"Why not?" Dylan threw back at her. The opposite of deflated, Dylan seemed emboldened. Cocksure.
"What if something happens to Laura? You need to know who the legal father is for custody. For raising her. I've seen too many really screwy situations in hospitals after parents die to know that you do not want Child Services to be the one who takes your daughter away to a foster home while the legal system sorts all this crap out. Plus there are issues of inheritance." She made a face and rubbed her fingers together. Money.
