A Girl's Guide to Vampires (Dark Ones #1) 0

"So who did go into your room earlier in the evening if it wasn't Raphael?" Roxy asked several hours later as we sat together in the pale sunlight of a late October morning.

"I don't know for sure."

"But you have an idea?"

"Possibly." I wanted to avoid my idea, actually. It was fairly unsavory.

"Well, we'll come back to that in a minute," Roxy said as she waved a roll slathered with butter and jam at me. I damned her metabolism for a moment before turning to my naked toast and fruit. "First I want to hear what happened to you."

I frowned. "What do you mean, what happened to me?"

"You know!" She scooped up another large spoon of preserves and coated her roll with it.

"You'll get diabetes doing that," I predicted sourly, nodding to the roll. She just grinned and licked her fingers. "Assume I don't know what it is you're talking about and fill me in with words of one syllable or less."

"I'm talking about what happened last night after Raphael told you he couldn't peel you off his lap. Did you... you know ... or did you talk, or did you get up and cordially wish him a good night and spend the rest of the night touching yourself pretending it was him doing the touching?"

"Roxanne!" I choked, coughing and sputtering on my toast until I had tears in my eyes. I wheezed and snorted as I sipped a little coffee, trying to end the paroxysms.

"I didn't say you got your jollies off, I just asked if you did!"

I hadn't, but the thought had crossed my mind. "No, I did not - not, I might add, that it's any of your business. Nor is it any of your business what I might or might not have done with Raphael. You may rest assured I will tell you anything of importance."

"I can tell you didn't get any last night," she said sanctimoniously, licking the jam from the butter knife. "You're always surly in the morning when you're in a frustrated way."

I gave that statement all the attention it deserved - none.

"So if it wasn't Raphael about to do the blood thing with you earlier in the evening, who are your prime suspects?"

I poured myself another cup of coffee and leaned back in my chair, enjoying the warmth of the sunlight. This late in the morning, we were the only people in the tiny dining room.

"I don't know, Rox, that's the problem. It seems to me the field is narrowed down to just a couple of guys."

"Well, I still think it's Raphael," she sniffed, sipping noisily on her hot chocolate. She licked the whipped cream from her upper lip and added, "For some reason, he just doesn't want you to know it's him. We just have to figure out that reason, and then you can tell him to knock it off and get on with step four."

"That doesn't make sense," I said, poking at the remains of my breakfast. "Have you ever read about a Dark One lying to his Beloved?"

She frowned as she thought. "Mmm. You may have a point."

"No, I think... " I chewed on my lower lip as I pulled out the memories of the past evening. "I think Raphael's telling the truth. It didn't feel like him the first time."

"But you said you saw his eyes, saw him standing beyond the door before he melted through it - which I have to say is a totally awesome thing to see."

I was shaking my head before she finished. "No, I told you I couldn't move, couldn't even open up my eyelids. The stuff I saw - well, it could have just been my imagination. I could have imagined I saw Raphael there, that it was him touching me rather than whoever it really was."

"But then who was it really?" she asked for a third time. I just stared helplessly at her in return.

"OK, let's go about this systematically." She pulled out a tablet of paper and started writing. "One: you say the Dark One is not Raphael."

I nodded. "At least, the Dark One who came to my room last night wasn't Raphael. I thought it was until he kissed me; then I knew something was wrong, that it wasn't him."

"Check. Since it's impossible for more than one Dark One to claim a Beloved, that means the first batch of visions you were having were also from our mystery man, to wit, not Raphael."

I nodded, then shook my head, then nodded again.

"What?" she asked, sucking on the cap of the pen.

"I don't know - it seems to me that it was Raphael that first night. I felt him approaching, felt him feeding, and then, whammo! There he was with Dominic."

Roxy tapped the pen on her chin for a moment before making another note. "OK, that's point two: Who arrived with or just following Raphael?"

"Dominic," I said. "But he's not the vampire, I know that. I can feel that."

She grinned and tipped her head to the side. "You've sure come a long way in just a few days. Once it was 'Oh, no, Roxy, there's no such thing as Dark Ones,' and now you know with just a feeling if someone's a vampire or not. Next thing you know, you'll be believing in leprechauns and the Loch Ness Monster."

I didn't feel like laughing. It wasn't her neck that was attracting rogue vampires all over the place. "This is serious, Roxy."

"Nothing is so serious you can't have a bit of fun at your oldest friend's expense. So, if it's not Dominic, then who? Who've you met since we've been here?"

"Tanya and Arielle," I counted off on my fingers, "but they're women, so they don't enter into the picture. Then there was Dominic and Raphael, but we've already crossed them off the list."

"You have," Roxy said darkly. "I haven't until I see some solid proof."

I let that go. "Then Christian showed up - "

I looked up at her. She raised her eyebrows for a moment as she tapped her pen on her lips. "Naw, can't be," she shook her head. "He ate dinner with us, remember? And wasn't he in the bar much earlier, before Dominic and Raphael arrived?"

I closed my eyes so I could concentrate better on the memory of that night. "I think so - yes, I remember seeing him with a wineglass as he joined a table where some men were playing chess."

"Right. So Christian is off the list."

"Although he did disappear last night," I pointed out.

"Disappear? No, he just needed to go the bathroom. I ran into him just after you left. He went to move his car; then we hung out together until the bands got to him."

I made a face. I was not a devotee of music that was loud for the sake of being loud. "I don't blame him. Were the bands bad?"

"Ghastly," she answered, chewing on the pen. She looked down at her paper. "So who does that leave us with? Is there anyone else you met here that first night who could be a Dark One? The bartender?"

I shook my head, looking out the window and watching as some crows pecked at apples that were rotting on the tree. "Has it occurred to you that perhaps I did not actually see this Dark One directly after the visions? Maybe just being in relatively close proximity was enough to do it, without having to actually be physically near one another."

"Mmmm," Roxy hummed, considering that. "I suppose there's nothing that says he had to be at the same location as you. There are several instances in the books of Dark Ones who knew their Beloveds were approaching well before they did, so I guess that would make sense. But if that's the case, who is it?"

"There's one man we saw last night who, I'm extremely sorry to say, fits the bill of vampire awfully well."

She stared at me. "Who?"

"Milos."

"Milos? Oh, Milos. You think?"

I nodded. "I think. Have you seen his eyes? They're flat, absolutely flat, like there's nothing behind them but empty space. He gives me the willies in a way Dominic doesn't even come close to achieving."

"But, but - Joy, this is your Dark One we're talking about. The man made for you, the one Miranda predicted you'd find here. He's your soul mate, your other half."

"Well, I don't want him," I said with more than a little petulance. "I want Raphael instead. He's... he's right. He smells right and he feels right, and Lord knows he tastes right."

She stared at me in horror. "You can't mean that! You barely know the man! How can you tell me he's the one you want when you just met him a couple of days ago?"

I waved the waitress over to clear the table. "You've been happy as a clam at the thought of me being a vampire's main squeeze; now you're telling me that because he's not one of the bloodsucking night walkers I'm rushing things?"

"Well, of course," she snorted. "Everyone knows that to be a Dark One's Beloved is forever, but a relationship with a mere human man... that can go belly up faster than an overfed goldfish."

"Someday I'm going to figure you out, Roxy, and then you'll be sorry."

She just grinned at me. "Right. So we have Milos as a possible, Christian as a did not start, and Dominic and Raphael as possible but probably no-gos. I believe the next step is to eliminate the possibles."

"How do we do that?" I asked suspiciously.

"Simple!" she said, standing up and stretching before reaching for her jacket. "We beard the lion in his den. Or in this case, the vampire in his lair."

"I feel stupid," I said a half hour later as Roxy and I skulked around the outside of the trailer Raphael lived in while he worked at the fair. "I know Raphael isn't a vampire; I don't need to see him sleeping to prove it."

"Yes, you do. There are still too many coincidences to make me happy." She tried the knob on the trailer door. It was locked. I sighed in relief.

"Like what?"

"For one, he sleeps during the day and is up all night."

"So does everyone else in the fair," I pointed out.

"For another, you said you saw him ditching his drink, and we've not seen him eating yet. Regular food, that is. One of us might have seen him feeding on something else," she added as she shot me a meaningful look. She rustled around in her oversized bag before pausing. "Um... you go circle around the trailer to make sure no one's watching us, OK?"

"Why?" I asked suspiciously. "The door's locked, we can't get in, so what's the use in staying? And what are you looking for in your bag?"

"Gum. Now go on. I don't want anyone to see us."

I muttered a choice comment about what I wanted, but gave in and slunk my way nervously around the trailer to verify that no one was watching. Other than several magpies flying overhead, there was nothing around us but blowing leaves and a few pieces of debris that had escaped the trash cans. The noise of a generator kicking in over at the tent city rumbled ominously in the background.

"Roxy, this is stupid." I whispered when I completed the circuit. "You're basing your supposition on two flimsy pieces of circumstantial evidence."

"There's more," she said as she stood with her hand on the door. "Remember Raphael's reaction when he caught you alone with Christian? You said he was in a rage."

I allowed the memory of the shared emotions to wash over me again. Rage was a pale word compared to what I had felt. I shrugged. "It's no different from the other visions the Dark One sent to me long distance. Maybe he could see stuff I saw, and he got angry at Christian. I don't know exactly how that happened, but I do know that we're wasting our time here. The door's locked, so let's leave."

She grinned as the latch to the trailer clicked open. "I must not have turned the handle hard enough."

I glared at her, whispering furiously so as not to wake the occupant of the trailer. "Roxanne Mathilda Benner, if I thought for one minute you brought your lock picks with you to a foreign country and picked Raphael's lock, I'd - "

"Now, now," she calmed me. "Picking Raphael's lock is reserved solely for you, if you know what I mean."

"I do, and that's not what I meant, as you well know. Breaking and entering is - "

"Shhh!" she hissed, pushing the door open and mounting the three metal steps so she could stick her head in the door. "Coast is clear," she whispered before disappearing into the trailer. "Come on!"

I debated staying where I was, standing firm for ethical reasons, but the thought that she'd be in the closed, womb-like confines of the trailer alone with Raphael was enough to spike my jealousy count off the chart. I climbed the steps as stealthily as I could, flinching when the trailer made the usual creaks and noises of someone moving around. It was dark inside, almost completely pitch-black except for the light coming from the opened door, which was extinguished as soon as I stepped into the trailer proper.

"Rox?" I froze where I was, unable to see anything once she shut the door.

"Right behind you," she whispered in my ear. "I think the bed is at the far end. Just walk in a straight line until you reach a door."

"Easier said than done," I muttered as I edged forward, my hands held out before me. I couldn't see anything but the faintest glow around what I assumed were blinds drawn tight over windows. I banged my shin on something hard, stopping to clutch my leg and swear profanely but silently until the worst of the pain was over, then hobbled forward.

"If Raphael doesn't have us arrested and thrown in jail for breaking and entering, I swear by all that's holy I'm going to get you for this, Roxy."

I could feel her grin even if I couldn't see it.

"Just remember that I get to be your maid of honor."

I limped my way past what felt like a small Formica table on the left, and a bank of cupboards and counters on the right.

"Kitchen area," I hissed back to her.

"Good. Bedroom door is straight ahead."

Four more steps and my searching fingers found the door. It was shut.

"If the door to his bedroom is shut, why can't we open up a blind and have a little light?" I asked.

She tsked. "What if he is a Dark One? The light'll fry him when you open the door! You want to take a chance on that?"

"No."

"I didn't think so. Are you at the door? Open it up and let's see if he's warm-blooded and breathing, or cold and lifeless."

I muttered an imprecation at her as I gently turned the knob, praying as I did that it would be locked.

It wasn't.

"Now what?" I said almost silently in what I assumed was Roxy's ear.

She shoved me forward, toward the bed. Unfortunately, neither of us realized that the bedroom consisted of space for the bed, and that's it. When she shoved me forward, my knees hit the end of the mattress, and I tumbled forward onto it, onto the legs that were currently occupying the space. At the same time, the lights in the tiny room clicked on, and I found myself lying across Raphael's shins, staring down the barrel of an extremely efficient looking gun.

"You two are the worst housebreakers I've ever encountered," he told us calmly, tucking the gun away under his pillow. I muttered an apology, my face hot and red, and pushed myself off the bed, hoping against hope I'd find a way to explain what we were doing there. That's when I noticed Roxy. She was standing in the doorway staring at him. I turned to see what made her eyes bug out like they did, and felt my jaw hit the ground.

Raphael was sprawled over his bed - there's just no word for the masculine grace he displayed as he lay there - totally, completely, utterly naked. I let my eyes go wild, feasting in an orgy of delight as I gazed at all that flesh, starting at his toes (nice long, narrow feet), working my way up muscular calves and heavily muscled thighs to pause for a long, long moment on that part of him that many parts of me were even now clamoring for. I swallowed back a good gallon or so of saliva that was threatening to issue forth as drool and forced my perusal upward to his stomach, where I stopped to admire a sunburst tattoo just below his belly button. It was about the size of a half dollar, and was made up of a sun with wavy rays emanating from it. I'd never seen anything like it, and although I wasn't a fan of tattoos, that one had me licking my lips. I tore my eyes from it and let my gaze continue up to a broad chest with insouciant nipples that screamed for attention, taking two side excursions to arms that were muscley without being obscenely big, stopping finally when my eyes met his.

"You are so lucky," Roxy said to me in a voice filled with awe.

I blinked.

"Would you like me to turn over so you can see my other side?" Raphael asked.

"Would you?" Roxy breathed hopefully.

"No, he would not," I snapped, shoving her out the door.

She pushed back to leer at Raphael as he started to get out of bed. "Nice seeing you! And I mean that literally!"

"Roxy!"

She craned her head around me again. "That's a really great tattoo, by the way. Sexy! Bet it drives the women wild."

"ROXY!"

"Sorry. I'll just go sit out here while you conduct the test."

"What test?" I asked in a low whisper.

She mimed pulling the blinds, then turned and disappeared into the blackness of the trailer.

I faced Raphael, now pulling on a pair of jeans. "I... urn... suppose you'd like to know what we're doing here."

He scratched his chest and sat on the end of the bed. I wanted to shove his hand aside and scratch it for him, but the dark circles under his eyes reminded me that whatever he was, he'd only had a few hours sleep.

"I'm really sorry about this," I said, filled with remorse at allowing Roxy to drag me into the idiotic scheme. "It's just that last night... "

He covered his mouth as he yawned. "What about last night?"

"Well, last night... that is, I need to make sure that you're who you say you are." His back stiffened at my words. I hurried on to try to explain. "Not that I don't believe you, but as Roxy pointed out, it's better to be sure so i can eliminate you from the list, and... well... I can't do that unless you let me open the blinds."

He shook his head and rubbed a weary hand over his eyes. "I'm not following any of this, not the least of which is who you think I am, so if you could explain why it was so important that you go to the trouble of breaking into my trailer to talk to me, I'd appreciate it."

I sidled along the two-foot space at the end of the bed toward the window. "Can I just open this?"

He looked at the window. "Why? Do you have a camera crew out there? Are you part of one of those shows on the telly where they film people unawares? Is a man in a gorilla suit going to jump out of my closet?"

"No, no, honestly, it's nothing at all like that, I just want to open the blind. Is that OK?"

He rubbed his eyes again. "Please yourself."

I put my hand on the blind cords. "Are you sure? It won't... uh... hurt you in any way?"

He narrowed his eyes at me. "Hurt me? Woman, you are steadily going from confusing to incomprehensible."

I waited.

"No," he said. "It won't hurt me."

I yanked on the cord and let the pale sunlight wash into the tiny bedroom, covering him in a golden haze. He raised his eyebrows.

"Wahoo!" I shouted, jumping up and down and spinning around with the joy of it all. "You're not a vampire! You're a nice, normal man with nice, normal eating habits and no ability to merge your mind with mine!"

Raphael shook his adorable curls. "I think, for my sanity's sake, I'm going to stop trying to understand you and just go with the flow."

He grabbed me as I twirled around again, and pulled me down onto the bed, leaning over me so his chest was pressed against mine, his lips perfectly placed for kissing.

"Nice," I said, unable to keep from smiling as I stroked his chest. "I like a man with a hairy chest."

"Oddly enough," he grinned back at me, "I like a woman who likes a man with a hairy chest. And speaking of chests... " His head dipped as he nuzzled aside the lace collar of my blouse.

"Hey! You guys can't do that while I'm here! I can see everything, you know!"

"Rats. I forgot about Roxy."

He pulled his head up from my chest and put it back into kissing position. "I find it difficult to believe anyone could forget about Roxy."

"I heard that!"

I smiled at his smile and willingly gave myself up as he nipped at my mouth, parting my lips when his tongue demanded entrance. His skin was warm and soft as I stroked my hands down his chest, trailing my fingers over his ribs so I could wrap my arms around his back, pulling him on top of me. His tongue danced a tango for two, sending my senses whirling and dipping with each stroke. He groaned in the back of his throat as I suckled his tongue, twining my own around it as I attempted to merge myself with him. He tasted hot and exotic and male. My fingers danced over the muscles of his back, sweeping upward until they stroked along the contours of his shoulders.

His kisses were everything I wanted, but suddenly they weren't enough. I wanted more; I wanted all of him.

"You know, we hardly know one another at all," I gasped as his mouth left mine and did some exploring in the sensitive area beneath my ear.

"That's true," he said just before he sucked my earlobe in for a little quality time. His fingers splayed over my left breast, cupping it through the heavy wool of my sweater. "Your heart is racing."

"A lot of stuff on me is racing," I purred as he sucked a line down to my collarbone, while I slid my hands down the wonderful landscape of his back to the curve of his behind. Even in jeans it was a very nice behind. "But the truth is, we just met a few days ago, so someone might say that we were rushing things a bit."

"Mmm." He kissed up the opposite side of my neck, starting little fires of desire all over my body. "Do you think we're rushing things?"

"I do!" Roxy called from the other end of the trailer.

"Ignore her; she liked you better as a vampire."

He stopped kissing me, a faint line of puzzlement between the two delicious chocolate brows. I gave in to temptation and kissed along each one. He waited until I was through to say, "First things first. Am I rushing you?"

I smiled. "No. It's true we don't know each other awfully well, but that just adds a little zip to the whole thing, don't you think? Uncovering each other's likes and dislikes and finding out who we are and exposing secrets... "

He stiffened as I said the last word, pulling back from me, propping himself up on one elbow, a full-fledged frown on his face now. I reached my hand up to smooth away the lines, but he caught my fingers before I could touch him.

"That's the third time you've mentioned secrets to me. I can only assume that by your constant reference to that, you have some information you'd like to discuss with me."

"Information? What sort of information? You mean the secret you accused me of knowing last night? I know now you're not a Dark One, so that can't be it. What are you hiding?"

He stared at me for a second, then pushed himself up into a sitting position. I gave myself a moment to admire the sight of his back, then sat up as well.

"Don't try to confuse the issue with all this Dark One talk. What do you know about me, and what do you intend to do about it?"

He was looking irate now, not something that pleased either of us. "I'm confusing the issue? How about you? Raphael, I haven't the slightest idea what you're talking about when you accuse me of knowing something about you. Other than knowing you've obviously studied kissing with the best, and you have stupendous... um... physical endowments, I don't know anything about you other than I really like you and I want to be with you. There. I admitted it first. Are you happy now?"

His eyes searched my face; then he looked away and rubbed his jaw. "I must be mad - that's the only explanation for it. I've gone mad and no one bothered to tell me, and now I'm living a madman's life where beautiful women think I'm a vampire and speak in riddles and try to seduce me at every turn."

"Beautiful women?" I asked, pushing his arm. "What women? I realize we just met and all, and it's not like I'm asking you to marry me or anything, but I must insist on exclusive rights I never did learn to share my toys with others."

"I was talking about you," he said with an odd look to his eyes.

"Oh Well, then, that's OK, although I would like to point out that I haven't tried to seduce you at every turn."

"No," he agreed, still looking at me oddly. "You haven't. I stand corrected." He hesitated a minute before making an embarrassed little grimace. "You really thought I was a vampire?"

It was my turn to look embarrassed. "It seemed like the only explanation at the time," I mumbled. He lifted my chin and leaned forward to look into my eyes.

"And that's why you asked me to bite you last night?"

I nodded, my face flaming. I was an idiot, truly an idiot not to have figured out the truth earlier, but Raphael was enough to make any girl's senses swim.

His lips twitched, then smiled a slow, sexy smile. "I thought you were just into deviant sexual practices."

I had a hard time pretending to scowl under the influence of that smile. "Me? You thought I was into the kinky stuff? Lord, no, I'm strictly a white-bread sort of girl when it comes to sex. Most of the time, anyway."

His lips brushed mine as the last words were spoken into his mouth.

"What are you hiding from, Raphael?"

He froze above me.

"Please," I whispered, stroking the line of his tight jaw. "It's obvious you're worried that someone is going to find out something about you. I want to help, if I can. You don't have to tell me your secret, just tell me if you're in danger of some sort."

His eyes went from liquid amber to hard, glittering stone.

"No danger," he said, his breath steaming my lips. "I... there is a situation with my last employer, Joy. I can't tell you anything about it, but as long as I'm here, all is well."

I nodded, understanding him better than he realized. There was something in his past that he feared would be exposed, something bad enough that he believed he would be blackmailed. I stroked my hands down his arms. His muscles were taut with tension, a sign that he wasn't trying to be offensive in accusing me of knowing his secret and using it against him - he clearly suspected everyone. I wondered what had happened on his last job that would drive him into burying himself in a wandering troupe of entertainers. Pushing him to open up would do me no good, so I did what I could to reassure him I was no threat. I teased the edges of his lips and moaned when he opened up for me, his tongue quickly assuming control and setting a rhythm that had me wishing Roxy had stayed back at the hotel.

"Are you guys starting that again? Look, Joy and I have things to do and people to see, so if you could wrap it up, I'd really appreciate it!"

"She's right," I murmured against his lips, giving him one last sweet kiss. "You need to get your sleep, and Roxy and I have to go do some things."

"What things?" he asked as I slipped off the bed and pulled my sweater down from where his wandering hands had slipped under it.

I had a strange suspicion that he wouldn't approve of us going to peek on Milos, so I made a dismissive gesture with my hands. "Oh, just stuff. I think we're going to the caves today, aren't we, Rox?"

She appeared in the doorway. "Caves. Yes. Caves. Right. Gotcha. Caves."

Raphael didn't look like he believed it for a moment. He snaked a hand around my waist and tugged me to him to lay his lips on me one last time. "Unfinished business," he reminded me of my words of the previous day.

"Unfinished business," I agreed, and with an effort I didn't think myself capable of, tore myself from the warm haven of his body and pushed a madly grinning Roxy ahead of me as we walked toward the outer door.

Raphael flipped on a light that illuminated the whole trailer, then leaned against the door frame to watch us as we left. I paused on my way out the door. "This thing that you're worried over... is it why you sleep with a gun under your pillow?"

For a moment he didn't answer, his eyes smoldering with a strange light as he nodded. "You never know who is going to come calling at all hours of the day... and night."

I nodded as well, then waved goodbye, closing the door quietly behind me.

"You OK?" Roxy asked me as I leaned against the door and caught the breath that had eluded me since I entered the trailer. "That was some kiss he was giving you, eh? Damn near curled my toes, and I wasn't even on the receiving end."

"Mmm," I said, thinking not about Raphael's kisses - wondrous and toe-curling as they were - but about the look in his eyes when he accused me of knowing a secret about him. What was I doing, practically promising myself to a man who could have any sort of secrets in his past? A man who kept a gun under his pillow when he slept? A man who was apparently well educated, and yet who worked for what were probably piddling wages with a small traveling fair?

I knew nothing about him, nothing, and yet here I was contemplating starting something serious with him, something important and meaningful. I couldn't conceive of what it would mean to uproot my life to stay with him, and yet that was exactly what I was thinking seriously about doing. Changing my life didn't bother me so much; it was the fact that although I was mad about Raphael, I didn't really know him.

Or did I? Maybe I knew him better than I thought I did. Then again... what was it Dominic had threatened him with the first night we arrived? "I can break you with a word." That sounded to me like Dominic had a hold on Raphael, and wasn't above using it to keep him in line.

Which made me more confused than ever.

"Joy? You're not having one of those visions again, are you?"

I shook away my questions and gave her a weak grin. "Nope. Just wondering how late Arielle sleeps in."

She looked a question at me.

"I want to ask her a few things," I said as I grabbed her arm and started off in the direction of the hotel at a fast walk.

"What sort of things?" Roxy asked worriedly.

"Things about Raphael. I think Dominic is blackmailing him, and in order to help him, we have to find out what his secret is. I'm hoping Arielle can shed some light on the subject." I started to trot. "Come on - if we hurry, we can catch a ride with that Canadian couple to Punkevn¨ª Cave."

"You want to go to a cave now? Now? When there's a vampire to find and a blackmailer to catch? Geez, I sound just like someone out of a really bad adventure book. Hey, wait up, I don't have giraffe legs like you do."

"No one at the fair will be up until this afternoon, and the cave is only a half hour away. We'll worry about the Dark One later. Right now I want to see that cave."

"OK, but when we get back, remind me to tell you something."

I stopped. "What?"

She sprinted past me. "Something to do with the fair."

I loped after her, cutting across the meadow, avoiding the tent city that was just starting to come to life.

"What?" I called out, getting a bit winded as I pounded up the hill to the hotel.

She picked up her speed and yelled something back at me that sounded like rune stones.

"What? What about rune stones? Roxy, will you stop running away from me and just tell me whatever it is!" I started to get a stitch in my side, and slowed down.

She had a good thirty-yard lead on me now, damn her "jog five miles every day, rain or shine" hide. She stopped and turned back to me, cupping her hands around her mouth and bellowing, "Rune stones! Tanya said you have no skill at reading runes, and I said you did, and somehow it ended up as a wager. I bet everything I have on you, so unless you want me to lose my entire life's savings, you're going to have to answer Tanya's challenge. I've set it all up with Dominic - you're going to do a reading tonight to prove we're right and she's wrong."

I staggered up the hill, my teeth bared. I was going to kill her.

"Don't look at me like that. I couldn't let her malign you - she was saying all sorts of nasty things about you. It'll just be a few readings, you can do that on your head. After that - well, Dominic said he'd be happy to offer you the position of rune-stone reader if you wanted to join the fair."

I clutched my side and tried to ignore the pain. I was really going to kill her.

"Of course, he said that meant you'd have to be his consort and all that, but I'm willing to bet that part is optional. You can probably negotiate that out of the contract."

"You're a dead woman," I yelled at her as she waved and spun around to dash up the rest of the hill like it was no more than a curb. "I know, because I'm going to be the one to murder you!"

"Hurry up or you'll miss the Canadians," she called as she rounded the hotel, heading for the lobby. "You think it's too late to change the bet to double or nothing? We could really clean up!"

"Make your will now, you're going to need it," I yelled.

Her words drifted back through the night air. "I wonder if I should warn the hotel owner to take out some extra insurance, just in case Miranda was right about you being a cataclysient."

I smiled a grim smile as I staggered my way up the hill, wondering if the Czech Republic had the death penalty for the murder of an American tourist.