Also his seasonal allergies. I’d never seen him in the springtime, so I didn’t know he had them.
He called me, sneezing like crazy, all stuffed up and pitiful. “Can you come over and hang out with me?”
he asked, blowing his nose. “And can you bring more Kleenex? And orange juice?”
I bit my lip to keep from saying, You have allergies, not swine flu.
I’d gone over to his frat house the day before. He and his roommate played video games while I did my homework. Then we watched a Kung Fu movie and ordered Indian food, even though I didn’t really like to eat Indian food because it gave me an upset stomach after. Jeremiah said that when his allergies got really bad, Indian food was the only thing that would make him feel better. I ate naan and rice and felt pissed while Jeremiah scarfed down chicken tikka masala and watched his movie. He could be really oblivious sometimes, and I had to wonder if it was on purpose.
“I really want to come over, but I have a paper that’s due tomorrow,” I said, trying to sound conflicted about it. “So I probably shouldn’t. Sorry.”
“Well, I guess I could go there,” he said. “I’ll take a ton of Benedryl and sleep while you write. Then maybe we can order Indian food again.”
“Yeah,” I said, sourly. “We could do that.” At least I wouldn’t have to take the bus. But I would have to go to the hall bathroom and get a roll of toilet paper, because Jillian would be pissed if Jeremiah used all her Kleenex again.
I didn’t know then that all of that was setting the stage for our first real fight. We had one of those screaming and crying kind of fights, the kind I promised myself I would never have. I’d heard Jillian have them over the phone, girls on my hall, Taylor. I never thought it would be me.
I thought Jeremiah and I understood each other too well, had known each other too long, for that kind of fight.
A fight is like a fire. You think you have it under control, you think you can stop it whenever you want, but before you know it, it’s a living, breathing thing and there’s no controlling it and you were a fool to think you could.
At the last minute, Jeremiah and his fraternity brothers decided to go to Cabo over spring break. They’d found some insane deal on the Internet.
I was already planning on going home over the break. My mom and I were planning to go into the city and watch a ballet, and Steven was going to be at home too. So I wanted to be at home, I really did. But as I watched Jeremiah book his trip, I felt more and more annoyed. He was supposed to be going home too. Now that Conrad was in California, Mr. Fisher was pretty much alone. Jeremiah had said he wanted to go and spend some time with him, maybe visit Susannah’s grave together. We’d also talked about going to Cousins for a couple of days. The summer before, we hadn’t gone, because I’d been working, trying to save up money for school, and he’d had an internship at his dad’s company. Jeremiah knew how much I wanted to go to Cousins. He knew how much it meant to me.
I’d done more growing up in that house than I had in my own. And with Susannah gone, it felt even more important that we kept going back.
Now he was going to Cabo. Without me.
“Do you really think you should be going to Cabo?”
I asked him. He was sitting at his desk, hunched over the computer and typing away. I was sitting on his bed.
He looked up, surprised. “It’s too good of a deal to pass up. Besides, all my brothers are going. I can’t miss out.”
“Yeah, but I thought you were gonna go home and hang out with your dad.”
“I can do that over summer break.”
“Summer’s still months away.” I crossed my arms then uncrossed them. Jeremiah frowned. “What’s this about?
Are you worried about me going on spring break without you?”
I could feel my cheeks redden. “No! You can go wherever you want, I don’t care. I just think that it would be nice if you spent some time with your dad. And your mom’s headstone is up. I thought you wanted to go see it.”
“Yeah, I do, but I can do all that after school’s out. You can come with me.” He peered at me. “Are you jealous?”
“No!”
He was grinning now. “Worried about all the wet T-shirt contests?”
“No!” I hated that he was making this into a joke. It was infuriating, being the only one who was mad.
“If you’re so worried, then just come with us. It’ll be fun.”
He did not say, If you are worried, you shouldn’t be.
He said, If you are worried, you should come with us. I knew he didn’t mean it that way, but it still bothered me.
“You know I can’t afford it. Besides, I don’t want to go to Cabo with you and your ‘bros.’ I’m not going to go and be the only girlfriend and drag down your party.”
“You wouldn’t be. Josh’s girlfriend, Alison, is going to be there,” Jeremiah said.
So Alison had been invited and not me? I sat up straight. “Alison’s going with you guys?”
“It’s not like that. Alison’s going with her sorority.
They’re getting a bunch of rooms at the same resort as us. But it’s not like we’ll be hanging out with them all the time. We’re gonna do guy stuff, like off-road racing in the desert. Rent some ATVs, go rappelling, stuff like that.”
I stared at him. “So while you race around with your buddies in the desert, you want me to hang out with a bunch of girls I don’t know?”
He rolled his eyes. “You know Alison. You guys were beer-pong partners in our house tournament.”
“Whatever. I’m not going to Cabo. I’m going home.
My mom misses me.” What I didn’t say was, your dad misses you too.
When Jeremiah just shrugged, like, Have it your way, I thought, oh, what the hell, I’ll say it. “Your dad misses you too.”
“Oh my God. Belly, just admit that this isn’t about my dad. You’re paranoid about me going on spring break without you.”
“Why don’t you admit that you didn’t want me to go in the first place, then?”
He hesitated. I saw him hesitate. “Fine. Yeah, I wouldn’t mind if this was just a guys’ trip.”
Standing up, I said, “Well, it sounds like there will be plenty of girls there. Have fun with the Zetas.”
Now his neck started to turn a dull red. “If you don’t trust me by now, I don’t know what to tell you. I’ve never done anything to make you question me. And Belly, I really don’t need you guilt tripping me about my dad.”
