PACK UP THE MOON
Until Gabriel stepped onto an ottoman in the middle of the Brecks' living room, it seemed, as Adam said, as though we were guests at a family reunion. Until then.
Gabriel got the crowd's attention with a fierce whistle that nearly made my eardrums pop. That sound was followed by the cacophonous clinking of a hundred silver forks on a hundred wineglasses that stopped only when he jumped atop the ottoman and lifted his hands in the air.
"Pack!" he screamed out, and the room erupted with the sound of a hundred voices - yells, hoots, whistles, screams, and howls. And along with the sounds erupted a sudden charge of magic. The air sizzled with the electric buzz of it, all at once life-affirming and frightening. After all, this was a predatory energy that wasn't mine.
I itched with the urge to move, and nearly jumped out of my skin until Ethan moved close enough to align the sides of our bodies. I wasn't sure if he was moving toward me or away from the Pack members around us, but there was something innately comforting about the feel of him at my side. It was calming, something familiar amidst sensations that my vampire sensibilities weren't too keen on.
Be still, he silently said, expressing not the words of a lover, but an order from Master to Novitiate vampire to calm myself. And as if he'd ordered it, my pulse began to slow.
Jeff, on his way to the front of the room, paused at our sides. "He's calling the Pack," he explained. "As far as I'm aware, you're the first vampires to witness it."
"In Chicago?" I queried.
"In history," he said, then moved forward.
"We are the Pack!" Gabriel announced, and the shifters began to move together, to cluster toward him.
As the back of the room cleared, I saw Nick standing alone at the edge of the crowd, a position I assumed he'd adopted since he was still on the outs with Gabriel. And being on the outs with Gabriel, I guessed, was akin to being on the outs with the Pack.
The rest of them embraced, arms linked as they tightened into a rugbylike knot. But this time, the magic didn't leak outward. It condensed as they gathered together, only the boundary tangible from our spot at the edge of the crowd. They linked arms in rings around Gabriel, and then the howls began again. Some were constant, like a four-part harmony of animal sounds; others were random yips. The sounds rose together into a frantic crescendo, the knitted rows of shifters swaying in alternating bands as they sang.
Realization struck - these weren't just vocalizations; they were communications - reassurances amongst the Pack members that they were together, that their families were safe and that the Pack was secure.
It's beautiful, I told Ethan, and considered myself fortunate to be witness to something no vampires had seen before. The calling continued for another ten or fifteen minutes, the shifters slowly disbanding - one ring at a time - until they were separate again. Gabriel still stood on the ottoman, hands in the air, his fitted dark T-shirt drenched in sweat. Calling the Pack - maybe reigning in all that magic - must have been hard work.
"Welcome to Chicago," he said, smiling tiredly and getting another hoot from the audience. "Soon enough, we will convene. We will take our collective fate to the Packs, and we will decide whether to stay or go."
The crowd quieted.
"The time will come to make that decision," he said. "But that time is not tonight." He reached down, and when he rose again, held a pink-cheeked toddler in his arms. He pressed a kiss to the child's forehead.
"Our future is clouded. But we will persevere, whatever the outcome. The Pack is eternal, everlasting." He reached down and handed the child back to the outstretched arms of his mother, then rose to face the crowd again, hands fisted on his hips.
"Tonight, we welcome strangers into our midst. We call them vampires, but we know them as friends.
They have cared for one of our own, and so we invite them here in friendship tonight." Gabriel gestured toward us, and in response the Pack members turned to face me and Ethan. Some wore smiles. Others bore expressions of outright distrust and disdain. But even those men and women nodded, begrudging acceptance of the vampires in their midst, vampires who'd saved one of their own.
Thank God for Berna, I silently told Ethan.
Thank God you were quick enough to step forward, he replied.
"All of our lives are intertwined," Gabriel said. "Vampire or shifter, man or woman, our heartbeats echo the very pulse of the earth. And ours are not the only hearts connected." He looked at Ethan, then me.
Someone handed him a cup, and Gabriel raised it to us. "We offer our friendship." Ethan's eyes went instantaneously wide, but he shuttered the emotion and offered a humble bow to the shifters around us as they drank a toast.
"But we don't convene tonight," Gabriel said. "Tonight, we live and breathe and love and enjoy the company of our friends and family. Tonight," he said, winking at me, "we eat." Another ten or fifteen minutes passed before Gabriel padded through the crowd to us, his expression a bevy of emotions. Even the magic around him seemed conflicted.
"Thank you for allowing us the opportunity to be here," Ethan told him. "It was quite a thing to witness." Gabriel nodded. "You took a risk that not all would have taken."
"It was the least we could do," Ethan said.
Gabriel looked at me. "You went after her. You risked yourself to get her out of harm's way, to make her safe."
"I did what anyone would have done."
"You saved a life." The words were earnest, but there was still something sharp in his tone, something unhappy in his expression. He seems pretty conflicted about that, I told Ethan.
"Are you . . . concerned about something?" Ethan asked.
He shook his head. "I will owe Merit a debt," he said. "I've repaid part of it - dealing with the Breckenridges and their unfounded animosity."
We already knew that part - Gabriel had confessed it when he'd visited Cadogan House. I had no idea what debt he was referring to, but it had something, I thought, to do with family. Whether his or mine, Pack or vampire, I didn't know.
And I figured there was no harm in asking. "What's the debt you'll owe?"
"I can't reveal that, Sentinel. The future is fluid. I can see the ripples, far into the water, but that doesn't mean the future is immutable, that events cannot be altered." Shifters were different from sorcerers on that point; sorcerers prophesized whenever they could, although the prophecies themselves were usually hard to understand.
"Can you give me a hint? You said something about family. Mine? Yours?" Gabriel looked up and across the room. I followed his gaze to a woman who stood on the edge of it, friends or relations at her side. Her dark hair was loose around her face, her cheeks freshly pink, her hands supporting the swell of her belly. This was Tonya, his wife, and Connor, his child, a future member of the Keene clan and the North American Central Pack. A future Apex?
"I won't be giving away too much," he said, "to suggest that the safety of my family lies within your sphere of influence."
We were all silent for a moment, the weight of that pronouncement between us. I wasn't sure if I should be flattered that Gabriel deemed me capable of protecting his family - or worried that the responsibility lay on my shoulders.
"On the other hand, the Packs shouldn't carry the burden of my debts to others." He swallowed thickly.
"I can't make any guarantees about alliances. All I can say is that I won't shut down the idea entirely.
That's all I can offer."
And with that simple suggestion - the idea that he might be willing to consider an alliance with vampires - Gabriel Keene made history.
"Before we go," I said, bringing us back around to current concerns, "have you heard about Tony's bike? About the forensic results?"
He nodded. "I know they found GSR."
"Have you heard anything from him?" Ethan asked.
"Not word one. Why?"
"We wondered if he'd take responsibility for the bar," Ethan said, "maybe try to take an overt stand against you or the convocation. If he was involved, and he's really trying to sway the balance of power, that'd be the logical way to go."
Gabriel furrowed his brow, then shook his head. "We haven't heard from him, and Tony's lieutenant hasn't heard from him, either. I assumed he'd gone underground to save his ass."
"That is a possibility," Ethan agreed.
Gabriel's gaze shifted as Fallon waved to him from the other side of the room. "I need to go. I'll see you tomorrow night."
Without another word, he turned and walked back to the bar, leaving Ethan and me staring after him.
Ethan didn't wait before getting to the good stuff. "He may not have offered a formal allegiance, but that is by far the closest we've come."
"We're a good team," I said with a cheeky smile.
He humphed, but there was a smile on his face.
"Now that I've gotten us into a Pack potluck and maybe dropped an alliance into your lap, I'm going to check out the buffet."
"You just ate."
I gave him a sardonic look. "I'm a vampire with a metabolism faster than a speeding bullet. Besides, that plate was all meat and sides. I didn't get dessert."
"Go," he said, shooing me with a hand. "Go find chocolate." I smiled grandly, then took off for the giant buffet.
It was even more impressive up close than it had been from far away. The food was homemade, from steaming casseroles and roasted vegetables to pink-frosted and coconut-topped cakes. I aimed straight for the desserts, picking up a small plate and fork along the way to host my bounty. Trouble came calling just as I put a homemade cookie on my plate.
"Vampire, huh?"
I looked over at the shifter who'd spoken. He was tall and broad shouldered, his thick dark hair pulled into a low ponytail and braid. Most of his face was covered by a thick beard.
"Yep," I politely said, offering him a smile. "Vampire." He grunted, then leaned toward me, the smells of leather, cheap whiskey, and cigar smoke moving with him. "You think you're so hot, right? Little vampire?" Gabriel's willingness to extend friendship to vampires was clearly not a unanimous emotion. But that friendship was on the line, so I kept my rising ire to myself and moved a couple of feet down the table.
"Just having some dessert," I said lightly. "Looks delicious." He made a couple of warthogish snorts, as if shocked that I had the gall to ignore his attempt to rile me up. "I was talking to you," he finally said, his voice low and menacing.
"And I was politely ignoring you." I mustered up my bravery and slid him a warning glance. "I'm a guest in this house, and I plan on acting like one. Maybe you should, too." That was the end of the discussion - because his next step was physical. He reached out and grabbed my arm, then jerked me forward, spewing curses at me as he moved. I jerked back to try to free my arm, dropping the plate in my hand. It hit the floor and shattered, crumbs and porcelain flying across the floor. But before I could react, he was gone.
Because before I could react, Ethan had the man by the collar of his shirt and was pushing him back toward the wall.
"Keep your hands off her," he gritted out.
With a quick twist of his hands, the shifter threw Ethan's arms away, then gave him a powerful shove for good measure. "Who the fuck do you think you are?"
Ethan stumbled back a couple of feet, but leaned forward quickly enough again, apparently intent on making a second run at the guy. "You come anywhere near her again, and you'll answer to me, Pack be damned."
Shock giving way to political awareness, I reached out and grabbed his arm, then hauled him around so he and the shifter weren't facing each other down.
"Ethan," I whispered fiercely. "Calm down."
Gabriel rushed toward us, Fallon and Adam behind him.
"What the fuck is going on in here?"
The ballroom went completely silent, all eyes on the vampires creating chaos in the midst of their party.
The shifter rolled his shoulders, as if tossing off the insult, then pointed at Ethan. "I was having a conversation with this vampire, and then this asshole pushed me. And now I'm going to push him back." Thank God I was a vampire, as that added dose of strength was the only thing that allowed me to hold Ethan back. He made another drive, enough to carry me forward a couple of feet before I could stop him again.
Adam and Fallon jumped between the two of them, ready to intervene if he tried again.
Ethan, I mentally told him. Stop it! Enough!
"He grabbed her," Ethan said through clenched teeth, then shook off my arms. "I'm fine." He pushed his hands through his hair. "I'm fine, and you need to get your shifters under control." Gabriel stared at Ethan, his expression fierce, his hands clenched into fists. Magic rose again, a suffocating cloud of it, as he decided our fate. I cursed mentally, assuming this was the end of our shifter detente.
But just then, Tonya stepped behind him. One hand on her stomach, she reached out with the other to touch Gabriel's back. As if answering her caress, Gabriel glanced between me and Ethan. And after a moment, I watched understanding soften the fury in his face. He'd figured out that Ethan had nearly taken a shot at one of his Pack members because that Pack member had nearly taken a shot at me. After a moment of silence, Gabriel took a step toward Ethan, then leaned in as though offering advice to a colleague. "If you want this friendship to work, then you will keep yourself in line. I get your reasons," he said, pausing for emphasis, "but this kind of shit will not fly. Not with my Pack. Not with my people." Ethan nodded, his gaze on the ground.
Gabriel's voice softened. "Are you going to be ready to work the convocation tomorrow?"
"Of course."
After a moment, he nodded. "Then I'm taking your word on that, and that's good enough for me." He stood straight again. "We're done here," he announced to the room. It's over. It's over, and everything's fine, so let's get back to dinner, shall we?" Then he took Tonya's hand and approached my aggressor, clasping a big hand on his shoulder. "Let's go have a drink and talk about manners." As he moved into the crowd, the din of noise and conversation began to envelop us again.
"We should go," Ethan said.
I nodded and let him lead me out.
He was silent on the way to the car. That silence and the ensuing tension thickened the air in the car until we were well away from the Breckenridge property and on our way back to Hyde Park.
I'd seen his protectiveness twice now. His gestures had been powerful, but they also put uneasiness between us - as if the gestures were too powerful for a relationship as new and green as ours.
"My reaction was uncalled for," he finally said.
"You thought he was going to hurt me."
Ethan shook his head. "I've been critiquing Morgan. I've complained that he overreacts. That he allows his emotions to get in the way of the needs of his House." My stomach twisted, and I had the sickening feeling that I knew where this conversation was going.
"Ethan," I said, but he shook his head.
"If Morgan had pulled that stunt, I'd have taken him out. I'd have hauled him out of the room and reminded him of his obligations. Of his duties to his House and the rest of them. I'm frankly surprised Gabriel didn't take action of his own."
Gabriel hadn't, I thought, because with a touch, Tonya had reminded Gabriel of the reason Ethan had acted - for me.
"You stepped in to protect me. It's understandable."
"It's unacceptable," he countered.
That word stung like a punch, and I turned my face to the passenger side window so he couldn't see the tears that had begun to fill my eyes. However grand his gesture at the Breck house, Ethan was preparing his excuse.
"I could have mooted all of Gabriel's overtures, destroyed all the good rapport he's building between shifters and vampires, because of my reaction. Just like that," he added, snapping his fingers.
Then he went quiet for a moment.
"It's been a long time for me since I've cared for someone. Since I've allowed instinct to take over." His voice softened, as if he'd forgotten I was in the car. "I should have seen it coming. I should have considered the possibility that I'd react in such a way." Was I supposed to appreciate the admission that he cared for me when he was drowning in regret about it?
"What if Gabriel did offer an alliance, friendship, because of what you'd done for Berna? If we continued our relationship, and our emotions became intertwined, entangled, and it came to the same end as yours and Morgan's - what then? All the bitterness? The bad feelings?" What was I supposed to say? Was I supposed to argue with him? Remind him of the physical bliss?
Reassure him that he wasn't Morgan, and that our relationship was different?
"If we form an allegiance with the Pack, we'll have made history. We'll have made an allegiance that's unique in history. And now my reaction has put that allegiance at risk. If that's how I'm going to react, then I'm not ready for this - maybe not capable of it. Not when it puts the safety and security of the House at risk." He was quiet for a moment. "There are three hundred Cadogan vampires, Merit." And I'm one of those three hundred, I silently thought, and forced myself to ask the next question. "So what are you saying?"
"I'm saying I can't do this. Not now. Things are too fragile." I waited to speak until I was sure my voice wouldn't waver. "I don't want to just pretend it didn't happen."
"I don't have the luxury of remembering. A girl isn't reason enough to throw away my House." I swallowed the lump in my throat and, with tears drying on my cheeks, made my decision. I'd spurned Ethan's advances when he'd offered just sex. But I'd given in when he'd said he needed me.
In fact, he'd decided I was disposable.
I felt stupid - naive. But I wouldn't let him see it, so I locked down my heart and found I could speak in that same cold voice he'd used. "You've changed your mind before. If you end it now and change your mind again, I won't come back. I'll stand Sentinel, but only as your employee. Not as your lover." It took a moment for him to answer . . . and break my heart.
"Then that's the risk I take."
We rode home in silence broken only by Ethan's reminder that we were meeting with Luc before dawn to discuss the convocation. I managed not to reach across the center console and throttle him, but as soon as we were parked in the garage, I jumped out of the car and headed up the basement stairs and out the front door again.
There were hours yet until dawn, and I couldn't spend them in the House.
I was too embarrassed to stay there, too humiliated at having been so unceremoniously dumped for the possibility of Ethan's burgeoning friendship with Gabriel. He'd given me up because dating me risked his bond with the Pack.
A bond, ironically enough, that I'd helped create.
I got into my car and headed north across the river, hoping distance would help ease the hurt. At the very least I wouldn't have to cry within earshot of the Cadogan vampires.
I should have known better. I should have known he wasn't capable of adapting, that he would always pick strategy over love, that no matter the words he'd used, he was still the same cold bloodsucker.
I considered calling Noah and consenting to join the Red Guard right then and there, consenting to partner with Jonah to oversee the Masters, to judge them, to take action when they fell short of their potential. But that was a betrayal I still couldn't commit. Ethan had his reasons for deciding a relationship between us wouldn't work. Even if I didn't agree with them, I understood them.
None of that, unfortunately, diminished the embarrassment, the feeling that I'd offered and been found lacking, the feeling that being put aside was wholly my own doing.
And, most important, the feeling that in taking Ethan's side, I'd stood against one of two people in the world who loved me unconditionally. That regret sent me to Wicker Park, not even sure if she'd be there, but without a better idea. I parked outside her narrow brownstone and hopped up the stairs, then knocked on the door.
She opened it a second later. Her ice blue hair was getting longer and now reached her shoulders. She wore a simple skirt and short-sleeved shirt, her feet bare, her toes painted in a rainbow of colors, from indigo to red.
Her smile faded almost immediately. "Mer? What is it?" Despite the speech I'd planned on the way over, a regret-filled "I'm sorry" was all I managed to get out.
"I'm so, so sorry."
Mallory gave me an up-and-down appraisal before meeting my gaze again. "Oh, Merit. Tell me you didn't."
