Jessica didn’t know how long she sat in the garden daydreaming but soon Julia was walking towards her with a fussy Jacob in her arms. “Your son’s ready for his lunch,” Julia said with a smile.
“I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize how long I’d been sitting out here,” Jessica quickly said. She immediately got up and headed towards Julia and her son.
“You deserve some time to yourself. Don’t feel guilty for enjoying a few moments of peace in an otherwise hectic day,” Julia chastised her gently. “Your son can wait long enough for you to clean up,” she added.
Jessica looked down at her hands and noticed they were covered with dirt. She looked up and smiled sheepishly. “I guess I should wash my hands before taking him,” she replied. She bent down and kissed Jacob’s soft head before they headed inside.
Jessica cleaned up and took Jacob. It was really nice to have Julia’s help but holding her son was the most relaxing thing in the world to her.
“Tell me about your last family,” Jessica asked once her son was settled down and eating.
“They’re a wonderful family. I worked for them for twenty years. I was there for the births of the youngest two children and their oldest child Justin was only a year old. Their mom was a lot like you. She wanted to do everything on her own but found having some help gave her the extra energy to be a great mother,” Julia replied.
“It’s really nice to have someone around. I’ve always thought doing things on my own was the only way to do something but my mother’s told me many times it’s okay to ask for help,” Jessica said.
“I couldn’t imagine my life any other way. I wasn’t blessed to have a family of my own. I do appreciate you sharing the joy of being there for Jacob with me,” she said with sincerity.
Jessica knew they were going to have a great relationship. “We’re really glad you’ve come into our lives,” she said.
They both chatted while Jacob ate, then Jessica excused herself and took him to bed. She was comfortable enough in her home to take another nap, knowing everything would be okay. She felt at peace in her home.
The next couple of months flew by in a blur. With Julia there to help Jessica she was able to focus on her writing and felt like she was accomplishing something. She still spent most of her time home but when she ran errands or worked on her book she didn’t feel like Jacob was being neglected.
Her nights were regularly filled with passion. She and Alex didn’t spend much time together during the days, with him gone for work. But when they climbed into bed together it was like they were there for the first time, every time. It was magical and she knew if it were to end suddenly her world would be destroyed. She was too dependent on Alex’s attention.
Jessica started to become restless around the big house. There didn’t seem to be a lot for her to do. When she received a call from an old college friend, informing her about a part-time job at the local newspaper for a writer she jumped at the chance. She’d already been weaning Jacob and it would be great to get out of the house.
She was so afraid of losing her sense of self and she could work part-time without guilt. Her child was in more than capable hands and the staff ran the house. It would be good for her to do something simply about her.
“Now Jessica, I want to remind you this isn’t exciting news. It will be covering city meetings and school events but it’s still an important part of the paper.” Jessica was in Marcia’s office, her editor, discussing her new job details.
“I understand Marcia. I’m not out to change the world. It’ll be nice to be writing and get out of the house,” Jessica reassured her new boss.
“Good. I’m glad we’re on the same page. Your first assignment is at the city hall. They have a meeting this afternoon at two. Do a short article on the topics of discussion and of any issues that arise.”
“I’ll be there. Thank you for this opportunity Marcia. I really appreciate it.”
“I have to admit I was a little surprised you wanted to work a job like this. You have a very impressive resume and could work for any major publication you wanted,” Marcia stated.
“I’m a full time mother now and the kind of careers I’m qualified for require sixty plus hours a week. I’m not willing to be away from my son too much. I plan on eventually writing novels but would like to stay out in the workforce as well.” Many people assumed just because Jessica had access to money beyond what most people ever dreamed of having she’d be a spoiled heiress. It never took her long to prove herself though and she knew she would gain the respect of her co-workers at the paper.
“Well, we’re happy to have you join our team. The article is due by noon tomorrow. I’ll see you then.” Marcia went back to work and Jessica headed outside to her car. She had about an hour to kill before the city hall meeting so she headed to the mall for a smoothie and some light shopping.
The meeting was a bore, as she knew it would be. It was difficult but she managed to place a good spin on the article and her editor was more than happy with her work. She found it amusing she was taking so much pride in her small job but she felt useful and good about herself. It was the first time in a while she felt needed.
She drove home, still feeling great. When she stepped through the doors, she could smell the wonderful aroma of dinner cooking and hear Jacob giggling somewhere. She followed the sound.
She stepped into the den and found Alex on his back, with Jacob balancing on his knees like he was flying through the air. He let out another giggle. Jacob spotted his mom and started wiggling to be let down.
Alex looked up to see what caught his son’s attention, then gave Jessica one of his killer smiles. Setting Jacob on the floor, the baby crawled as fast as his chubby legs would allow to his mother.
Jessica scooped him up in her arms. “How’s my handsome young man?” she spoke to her son, as she nuzzled his neck, causing more giggles.
“He’s doing great. How was your first day at work?” Alex seemed genuinely interested, which surprised Jessica.
“It was actually great. I know it’s not a big time paper and my name isn’t going to go up in lights or anything but I like the people down there and it’s nice to be working again,” Jessica said, almost defensively.
“Hey, I’m not judging you,” Alex said, while holding his hands out. “Seriously, I really want to know how your day went and what you did,” he finished.
Jessica eyed him suspiciously for a few moments and then decided to tell him about her article and the people she’d met.
“I need to go in tomorrow for a couple of hours and then I thought I would go to the salon. I haven’t had my hair or nails done since before Jacob was born and it would feel heavenly,” she said with a little guilt for leaving her son while she pampered herself.
“You deserve to take some time for yourself. You have nothing to feel guilty about. Jacob is fine. He knows you love him and he won’t be scarred for life because his mother got her nails done. Stop being so hard on yourself,” he stated, as if he could read her mind.
“I know you’re right but I promised myself I wouldn’t be one of those mothers who left her child in someone else’s care while she ran all over the place. It feels wrong, especially with him still being a baby.” She headed over to the bar and poured herself a half glass of wine.
Jacob was happily playing with some of his toys on the floor. Jessica and Alex sat on the couch and watched him amuse himself.
“You’re a great mother. If you take care of your own need as well as his, you’ll always be a great mother. Women who sacrifice everything for their husbands or children end up resentful. You don’t want that to happen do you?”
Jessica looked at Alex, slightly puzzled. This was one of the most real conversations they’d ever had. It was nice to come home and voice her concerns with the man she loved. Her world stopped as she realized she really did love Alex. She’d tried to avoid it but she loved her time with him. She loved how he was with their son and she loved what he stood for.
She was so afraid her face would somehow show her newfound feelings so she stood up, under the pretense of checking a toy Jacob was playing with. She composed her features, then turned back towards Alex.
“Thanks Alex. I needed to hear that. I’ll take a little me time and not feel guilty about it. I’m going to wash up and change for dinner.” She didn’t give him time to answer her. She quickly slipped from the room and headed to her shower, where she could wash her worries away.
By the time Jessica came back downstairs, dinner was ready and Jacob was seated in his high chair. He was happily stuffing creamed food into his own mouth. More food was on him than in him but he enjoyed himself so it was okay.
“I hope you had a great first day at work,” Julia said.
“It was very nice. How did the day go with Jacob?”
“He was his usual happy self. He took only a short nap this afternoon though, so I think he’ll be ready for bed early tonight. He’s almost finished with his supper so I’ll take him up for a bath while you eat.” Jessica was happy they’d found Julia. She knew Julia loved Jacob as much as Alex and she did. She was certainly an invaluable member of their family now.
“Thank you Julia. I know I don’t say it enough but I’m grateful you’re a part of our family. I could’ve never spent the afternoon away from my son if I wasn’t one hundred percent sure he was in capable hands.” Jessica got up and gave Julia a hug.
“The honor’s all mine. You have a beautiful family and I’m very happy to be a part of it,” Julia said before heading off to bathe Jacob.
Alex and Jessica finished their supper in an almost uncomfortable silence. When they were talking about Jacob or making love they were in perfect harmony. In any other situation the silence was awkward.
“I’ll be going to my brother’s ranch tomorrow,” Alex finally broke the silence.
“That’s good. You haven’t taken a day off in a while,” Jessica replied.
“He has a roundup that needs done and then we’re all going to meet for a barbeque afterwards,” he continued.
Jessica was nervous. She hadn’t been around his family since the wedding. Joseph and Katherine came over regularly to play with Jacob and Alex had taken the baby over to his siblings a couple of times but there hadn’t been any family gatherings. She was nervous to face them all as a group.
It was especially nerve wracking to be around Lucas and Amy. They were so obviously in love with each other and she herself felt like such a fraud. Jessica knew each day she spent with Alex she fell a little bit more in love but she also knew he didn’t return the feelings. If they didn’t have Jacob together they wouldn’t have a marriage at all.
“I’m not sure if I’ll be able to attend tomorrow but if you want to have your parents stop by and grab Jacob that would be okay,” she tried to say nonchalantly.
Alex stared at her for a few moments before responding. “Look Jessica, I understand my family can be overwhelming and you’re still trying to get used to everything but they would be hurt if you didn’t come. Your parents will even be there. Can you please just forget about everything else going on for one day and come enjoy yourself?” he asked, while never breaking eye contact.
