We marched in silence, in single file, Darius leading the way like Oliver Twist at the head of a funeral procession. Following the massacre at the stadium after the football match, a series of road blocks had been set in place around the town. But there weren't many in this area, so we made good time, having to take only a couple of short detours. I was at the back of the line, a few metres behind the others, worrying about the meeting to come. I'd agreed to it easily enough in the theatre, but now that we were getting closer, I was having second thoughts.
While I was running through my words, thinking of all the things I could and should say, Evanna slipped back to walk along beside me. "If it helps, the snake-boy's soul has flown straight to Paradise," she said.
"I never thought otherwise," I replied stiffly, glaring at her hatefully.
"Why such a dark look?" she asked, genuine surprise in her mismatched green and brown eyes.
"You knew it was coming," I growled. "You could have warned us and saved Shancus."
"No," she snapped, irritated. "Why do you people level the same accusations at me over and over? You know I have the power to see into the future, but not the power to directly influence it. I cannot act to change that which is to be. Nor could my brother."
"Why not?" I snarled. "You always say that terrible things will happen if you do, but what are they? What could be worse than letting an innocent child die at the hands of a monster?"
Evanna was quiet a moment, then spoke softly, so that only I could hear. "There are worse monsters than Steve Leonard, and worse even than the Lord of the Shadows - be he Steve or you. These other monsters wait in the timeless wings around the stage of the world, never seen by man, but always seeing, always hungering, always eager to break through.
"I am bound by laws older than mankind. So was my brother and so, to a large extent, is my father. If I took advantage of the present, and tried to change the course of a future I knew about, I'd break the laws of the universe. The monsters I speak of would then be free to cross into this world, and it would become a cauldron of endless, bloody savagery."
"It seems that way already," I said sourly.
"For you, perhaps," she agreed. "But for billions of others it is not. Would you have everyone suffer as you have - and worse?"
"Of course not," I muttered. "But you told me they were going to suffer anyway, that the Lord of the Shadows will destroy mankind."
"He will bring it to its knees," she said. "But he will not crushit entirely. Hope will remain. One day, far in the future, humans might rise again. If I interfered and unleashed the real monsters, hope would become a word without meaning."
I didn't know what to think about these other monsters of Evanna's - it was the first time she'd ever spoken of such creatures - so I brought the conversation back to centre on the monster I knew all too much about. "You're wrong when you say I can become the Lord of the Shadows," I said, trying to change my destiny by denying it. "I'm not a monster."
"You would have killed Darius if Steve hadn't said he was your nephew," Evanna reminded me.
I recalled the hateful fury which had flared to life inside me when I saw Shancus die. In that moment I became like Steve. I didn't care about right or wrong. I only wanted to hurt my enemy by killing his son. I'd seen a glimpse of my future then, the beast I could become, but I didn't want to believe it was real.
"That would have been in revenge for Shancus," I said bitterly, trying to hide from the truth. "It wouldn't have been the act of an out-of-control beast. I wouldn't become a monster just because of a single executioning."
"No?" Evanna challenged me. "There was a time when you thought differently. Do you remember when you killed your first vampaneze, in the caves of Vampire Mountain? You wept afterwards. You thought killing was wrong. You believed there were ways to resolve differences other than through violence."
"I still do," I said, but my words sounded hollow, even to me.
"You would not have tried to take the life of a child if you did," Evanna said, stroking the hairs of her beard. "You have changed, Darren. You're not evil like Steve, but you carry the seeds of evil within you. Your intentions are good, but time and circumstance will see you become that which you despise. This world will warp you and, despite your noble wishes, the monster within you will grow. Friends will become enemies. Truths will become lies. Beliefs will become sick jokes."
"The path of revenge is always lined with danger. By following the ways of those you hate, you risk turning into them. This is your destiny, Darren Shan. You cannot avoid it. Unless Steve kills you and he becomes the Lord of the Shadows instead."
"What about Vancha?" I hissed. "Whatif he kills Steve? Can'the become your bloody Lord of the Shadows?"
"No," she said calmly. "Vancha has the power to kill Steve and decide the fate of the War of the Scars. But moving beyond that, it's either you or Steve. There is no other. Death or monstrosity. Those are your options."
She moved ahead of me then, leaving me with my troubled, frantic thoughts. Was there truly no hope for me or the world? And if not, if I was trapped between death at the hands of Steve or replacing him as the Lord of the Shadows, which was preferable? Was it better to live and terrorize the world - or die now, while I was still halfway human?
I couldn't decide on an answer. There didn't seem to be one. And so I trudged along miserably and let my thoughts return to the more pressing issue - what to say to my grown-up sister who'd buried me as a child.
Twenty minutes later, Darius opened the back door and held it ajar. I paused, staring at the house, filled with a sense of foreboding. Vancha and Alice were behind me, and Evanna further behind them. I looked back at my friends pleadingly. "Do I really have to do this?" I croaked.
"Yes," Vancha said. "It would be wrong to risk his life without informing his mother first. She must decide."
"OK," I sighed. "You'll wait out here till I call?"
"Aye."
I gulped, then stepped over the threshold into the house where I'd lived as a boy. After eighteen long years of wandering, I'd finally come home.
Darius guided me to the living room, though I could have foundmy way blindfolded. Much had changed within the house - new wallpaper and carpets, furniture and light fittings - but it felt the same, warm and comfy, layered with memories of the distant past. It was like walking through a ghost house - except the house was real and I was the ghost.
Darius pushed the living-room door open. And there was Annie, her brown hair tied up in a bun, sitting in a chair in front of the TV, sipping hot chocolate, watching the news. "Decided to come home at last, did you?" she said to Darius, catching sight of him out of the corner of her eye. She laid the cup of hot chocolate down. "I was worried. Have you seen the news? There's-"
She saw me entering the room after Darius. "Is this one of your friends?" she asked. I could see her thinking I looked too old to be his friend. She was instantly suspicious of me.
"Hello, Annie," I said, smiling nervously, advancing into the light.
"Have we met before?" she asked, frowning, not recognizing me.
"In a way," I chuckled drily.
"Mum, it's-" Darius started to say.
"No," I interrupted. "Let her see for herself. Don't tell her."
"Tell me what?" Annie snapped. She was squinting at me now, uneasy.
"Look closer, Annie," I said softly, walking across the room, stopping less than a metre away from her.
"Look at my eyes. They say the eyes never really change, even if everything else does." "Your voice," she muttered. "There's something about..." She stood - she was the same height as me
- and gazed steadily into my eyes. I smiled. "You look like somebody I knew a long time ago," Annie said. "But I don't remember who..." "You did know me a long time ago," I whispered. "Eighteen years ago." "Nonsense!" Annie snorted. "You'd have only been a baby." "No," I said. "I've aged slowly. I was slightly older than Darius when you last saw me." "Is this a joke?" she half laughed. "Look at him, Mum," Darius said intently. "Reallylook at him." And she did. And this time I saw something in her expression and realized she'd known who I was the second she saw me - she just hadn't admitted it to herself yet.
"Listen to your instincts, Annie," I said. "You always had good instincts. If I'd had your nose for trouble, maybe I wouldn't have gotten into this mess. Maybe I'd have had more sense than to steal a poisonous spider..."
Annie's eyes widened. "No!" she gasped.
"Yes," I said.
"You can't be!"
"I am."
"But...No !" she growled, firmly this time. "I don't know who put you up to this, or what you think you'll achieve by it, but if you don't get out quick, I'll-"
"I bet you never told anyone about Madam Octa," I cut her off. She trembled at mention of the spider's name. "I bet you kept that secret all these years. You must have guessed she had something to do with my 'death'. Maybe you asked Steve about it, since he was the one she bit, but I bet you never told Mum or-"
"Darren?" she wheezed, confused tears springing to her eyes.
"Hi, sis," I grinned. "Long time no see."
She stared at me, appalled, and then did something I thought only happened in corny old movies - her eyes rolled up, her legs gave way, and she fainted!
Annie sat in her chair, a fresh mug of hot chocolate cupped between her hands. I sat opposite her in a chair I'd dragged over from the other side of the room. Darius stood by the TV, which he'd turned off shortly after Annie fainted. Annie hadn't said much since recovering. Once she'd come to, she'd pressed back into her chair, gazed at me, torn between horror and hope, and simply gasped, "How?"
I'd spent the time since then filling her in. I spoke quietly and rapidly, starting with Mr Crepsley and Madam Octa, explaining the deal I'd struck to save Steve's life, giving her a quick rundown of the years since then; my existence as a vampire, the vampaneze, the War of the Scars, tracking the Vampaneze Lord. I didn't tell her Steve was the Lord or involved with the vampaneze - I wanted to see how she reacted to the rest of the story before hitting her with that one.
Her eyes didn't betray her feelings. It was impossible to guess what she was thinking. When I got to the part of thestory involving Darius, her gaze slid from me to her son, and she leant forward slightly as I described how he'd been tricked into aiding the vampaneze,, again being careful not to refer to Steve by name. I finished with my return to the old cinema theatre, Shancus's death, and the Vampaneze Lord's revelation that Darius was my nephew.
"Once Darius knew the truth, he was horrified," I said. "But I told him he mustn't blame himself. Lots of older and wiser people than him have been fooled by the Lord of the Vampaneze."
I stopped and awaited her reaction. It wasn't long coming.
"You're insane," she said coldly. "If youare my brother - and I'm not a hundred per cent convinced - then whatever disease stunted your growth also affected your brain. Vampires? Vampaneze? My son in league with a killer?" She sneered. "You're a madman."
"But it's true!" Darius exclaimed. "He can prove it! He's stronger and faster than any human. He can-"
"Be quiet!" Annie roared with such venom that Darius shut up instantly. She glared at me furiously. "Get out of my house," she snarled. "Stay away from my son. Don't ever come back."
"But-" I began.
"No!" she screamed. "You're not my brother! Even if you are, you're not! We buried Darren eighteen years ago. He's dead and that's the way I want him to stay. I don't care if you're him or not. I want you out of my life -our lives - immediately." She stood and pointed at the door. "Go!"
I didn't move. I wanted to. If it hadn't been for Darius, I would have slunk out like a kicked dog. But she had to know what her son had become. I couldn't leave without convincing her of the danger he was in.
While Annie stood, pointing at the door, hand trembling wildly, face twisted with rage, Darius stepped away from the TV "Mum," he said quietly. "Don't you want to know how I fell in with the vampaneze and why I helped them?"
"There are no vampaneze!" she yelled. "This maniac has filled your imagination with lies and-"
"Steve Leonard's the Lord of the Vampaneze," Darius said, and Annie stopped dead. "He came to me a few years ago," Darius went on, edging slowly towards her. "At first we just went for walks together, he took me to the cinema and for meals, stuff like that. He told me not to say anything to you. He said you wouldn't like it, that you'd make him go away."
He stopped in front of her, reached up, took hold of her pointing hand and gently bent her arm down. She was staring at him wordlessly. "He's my dad," Darius said sadly. "I trusted him because I thought he loved me. That's why I believed him when he told me about vampires. He said he was telling me for my protection, that he was worried about me - andyou . He wanted to protect us. That's where it began. Then I got more involved. He taught me how to use a knife, how to shoot, how to kill."
Annie sank back into her chair, unable to respond.
"It was Steve," Darius said. "Steve who got me into trouble, who killed the snake-boy, who made Darren come back to see you. Darren didn't want to - he knew he'd hurt you - but Steve left him with no choice. It's true, Mum, everything he said. You've got to believe us, because it was Steve, and I think he might come back - come afteryou - and if we aren't ready... if you don't believe..."
He ground to a halt, running out of words. But he'd said enough. When Annie looked at me again, there was fear and doubt in her eyes, but no scorn. "Steve?" she moaned. I nodded unhappily and her face hardened. "What did I tell you about him?" she screamed at Darius, grabbing the boy and shaking him angrily. "I told you never to go near him! That if you ever saw him, you had to run and tell me! I said he was dangerous!"
"I didn't believe you!" Darius cried. "I thought you hated him just because he ran away, that you were lying! He was my dad!" He tore himself away from her and collapsed on the floor, weeping. "He was my dad," he sobbed again. "Iloved him."
Annie stared at Darius crying. Then she stared at me. And then she also started to cry, and her sobs were even deeper and more painful than her son's.
I didn't cry. I was saving my tears. I knew the worst was yet to come.
