Even if she left today, she’d done the job as he’d laid it out to her. She’d intended to use the next few days to explore more in-depth the things they’d learned, different nuances that would help them self-teach into deeper areas, the more they practiced. But they’d figure that out themselves, with Derek giving them pointers. And she could of course always leave her shop number with Linda if she wanted to do any phone consults.
She bit her lip. She could admit it, if only to herself. If Derek didn’t start riding her ass and making her miserable, she kind of wouldn’t mind staying here several more days. Leaning in the doorway, she looked at the sun coming up over the trees, watched Theo meet up with Linda’s dogs at the edge of the wood, do the usual sniff greetings and tail waggings.
It wasn’t until she pulled herself away from that view that she tightened up. Because when she turned back toward the house, she saw Linda and Derek standing together at the gazebo pavilion. While she’d been studying the day’s beautiful blue sky, the green marsh, a contrast to the dark and frightening events hours before, they were watching her.
Suppressing the desire to run, she crossed the lawn to join them, trying to look unconcerned, indifferent. Amicably so, for Linda’s benefit at least. The priestess’s gaze was unreadable, but Derek was giving Ruby his frog-dissection look, noticing everything from the circles under her eyes to how she was moving. To stop him from saying something that would immediately make her want to slap him, she spoke as soon as she was in earshot.
“I thought you were off at some pancake house, stuffing your face at the all-you-can-eat buffet? You know they get suspicious when you single-handedly empty out those bins of bacon and sausage.”
“That’s why I usually go to two or three of them in a morning, spread myself thin. You’re hurting.”
“I took Advil. Don’t start nagging. Old woman.”
“Shrew.”
Ignoring him, Ruby nodded toward the dogs, who were now moving in a determined patrol of the clearing perimeter, as if they would ferret out what had happened last night and set it all to rights with a few strategically placed leg lifts over shrubbery. “Maybe we should have let them handle things last night.”
“Since I’ve seen them herd my nieces and nephews, a pack of Underworld soul-eaters would have been a piece of cake.” Linda managed a wan smile.
The joke eased a tightness in Ruby’s chest. “So Miriam’s okay?”
“Very shook up. She won’t be coming back to join us anytime soon, though I told her she handled herself very well. She said…. once things got settled, maybe she would, but she just couldn’t handle it right now.”
“She’s young, and she’s had a bad trauma. She showed real guts, though. I think she’ll be back.”
“Young.” Linda pursed her lips. “She’s twenty-four. Maybe three years younger than you?”
“Well, there’s young, and there’s young.” Ruby lifted a shoulder, uncomfortable with the topic.
“Ruby matured at age ten,” Derek said lightly. “I’m going to go finish up my breakfast, give you two a chance to talk.”
He gave Ruby a look that clearly said he was saving their conversation for a more private moment but, like the dawn, it was coming whether she wanted it to or not. She gave him a fuck-off look right back. His brow arched, a challenging glint in his eye. “I’ll save you a biscuit or two if you want to come join me when you’re done,” he added. “But you better hurry. Theo may get it.”
“He likes blackberry jelly on his.”
That feral grin flashed over his face, but he addressed his next words to Linda. “Thanks for making me a meal. You’re a great cook.” He touched the woman’s shoulder, a brief squeeze, and then he was gone, striding back to the house. No help for it, Ruby had to watch, and she saw Linda doing the same.
“No man should look that good in a pair of jeans,” Linda noted.
“Temptation and sin never come in ugly packaging,” Ruby returned, but she watched right along with her until he disappeared into the house.
“Well, it’s clear my little crush is all it’s meant to be.”
Ruby glanced at her. “I told you, if you want to try and make a move—”
“Ruby.” Linda gave her a look that Ruby suspected quelled her dogs and nieces and nephews, when either species became too rambunctious. “I’m not clueless. It’s obvious his heart already belongs to you and—”
“That’s his business and his problem.”
“And,” Linda repeated, “your heart belongs to him as well.” A wistful smile touched her lips. “You watch him like he’s the sun, the moon and the stars, even when you’re angry with him, as you are now.”
Ruby thought of a hundred ways to deny it, but gave it up as a botched job. “Doesn’t matter,” she said. “And I’m not angry at him. I just don’t know how to deal with him.”
“That’s usually how you know he’s the right one.”
Linda sobered then, shifting so she was squared with Ruby. “I have a great deal of respect for Derek,” the priestess said carefully. “A great deal of trust. He sent you to teach us, and you’re doing that, for certain. My ladies have learned more about magic use in a few days with you than we’ve discovered in three years of practice together.”
“I’m glad I could help,” Ruby said in a neutral tone. “I think you all will get better and better, building on the information we’ve given you.”
Linda nodded. “Ruby, the way you talked about Dark and Light that first day…. I’m very grateful you’re here, and for all your skill and expertise, but I have my own skills, and my own connection to the Lady’s energy. What you were doing…. it made me extremely uncomfortable. I don’t want to offend you, but it was more than a sense of danger.” She took a deep breath. “Something felt very wrong about the magic you were using. Can you explain that to me, so I can understand better?”
“It got the job done,” Ruby said shortly, turning toward the house. Linda reached out, touched her arm.
“Yes, it did. But that’s why Derek and you are fighting, isn’t it? I’m not trying to pry into your business. I don’t have the right to that, I understand. But this coven, I feel a responsibility to protect them. To understand, to not hide from knowledge that can hurt as well as help them.”
It was fair; Ruby knew it was. Even so, she still had to fight the defensiveness, the ugly feelings that surged up. None of your goddamned business, stay off this lawn, no trespassing past this point….
She shoved down the anger, managed to answer in a civil tone. “I have some magical skills that are fairly…. different. I stepped out of the circle specifically so they wouldn’t be exercised within it, so it wouldn’t touch you or your people. Miriam was brave, and her intentions were the best kind, but you and I both know her stepping out of the circle was a judgment error.”
“You were down, and the soul-eaters were closing in.”
“I was fine.”
“If fine means you don’t care if you live or die anymore.”
“Don’t think you know me,” Ruby snapped. “Bottom line, it saved your asses. If you don’t want me here, I don’t have to be here.”
Linda recoiled. “I wasn’t trying to—”
“Yeah, you were. Ninety-nine percent of what comes out of people’s mouths is lubricant, trying to make shit go down smoother. Anyone paying attention knows what’s really being said. You’ve been taught Dark magic is bad, wrong, and anyone who uses it is either evil or misguided, destined for a tragic end. It’s my choice, my business. Not yours. What is your business is this: I didn’t teach you or them anything that wasn’t based on the principles of Light magic. So you don’t have to worry that I’ve infected you or your coven.”
All the good feeling she’d felt from the sistership of the coven, the things she’d recouped in the past few days, seemed to vanish. She really wanted to be back at her shop.
Linda looked as if Ruby had punched her in the face. And Ruby wasn’t as unaffected by it as she wished she was. Spending a week with a coven, working together on stuff this tough and scary, couldn’t help but create a sense of camaraderie and nascent friendship. Ruby just couldn’t afford any more friends. But she couldn’t afford to make enemies, either.
Plus, she wasn’t so far gone that she couldn’t be ashamed of her behavior. Linda hadn’t done anything to deserve it, except innocently step into the target line of Ruby’s loaded emotional state.
In fact, Linda deserved credit for saying something that took guts to confront with another witch, and doing it with kindness and tact. It wasn’t her fault that Ruby had turned a flamethrower on her.
Incinerating her into a pile of human fat grease and hair, the smell of charred flesh….
It was just like earlier, when the graphic image of Derek hanging from a rope was way too immediate and detailed, refusing to be blocked. Ruby backed up three steps, fighting down that violent image that jumped out of her head like a skeleton waiting in the closet. Rubbing a hand over her face, she averted her gaze toward the tree line, the rising sun that had seemed so comforting a moment ago. Now it heralded another day of harsh light shining down on her shortcomings, the people she was failing.
“Linda, I’m hungry, worn-out and cranky. Later, let’s talk some more, and I’ll answer the questions I can. Okay? I’m sorry.” She took a deep breath. “I stepped out of the circle to protect your coven,” she repeated. “While I’m teaching you, your safety and theirs is my top priority. Always.”
Unless Asmodeus comes, and then you’ll burn down the whole world to tear one scream from his throat.
“You’re right.” Linda relaxed some, though her expression remained tense and a little closed up, a woman shielded against further attack. “I did hit you with this out of the blue. Go eat some breakfast. I made enough for two, even considering Derek’s appetite.”
