They killed Cruise.
I whimper as the bouncer dropkicks him onto the snowy sidewalk like a rotten sack of potatoes.
"Cruise?" I rattle him by the shoulders, demanding he come to because I'll be damned if he dies on my birthday. "Cruise! Wake up," I scream, slapping him gently over the face.
He pulls his knees in and winces. Maybe I should have left him unconscious for a little while longer. At least that way he could have staved off the pain of having his balls inverted.
"Shit," he gravels it out.
"I'm so sorry. It's all my fault." I help him to his feet and land his arm around my shoulders as we amble back to the truck.
"I'm okay," he says, dropping his head between his knees for a moment like he's totally not. He looks like he's about to hurl, but instead he draws in a deep breath and comes up fighting with a flicker of resolve, determined not to pass out again.
"I'm taking you to the hospital."
"What for?" He plucks the keys from his pocket, and the truck chirps to life.
"You're hurt." My voice cracks. Tears are pooling, turning the world into a watery illusion, and there's no way to stop them. I've turned into a monster and inadvertently may have cost Cruise any hope of carrying on the family name.
I catch a glimpse of my reflection in the window to confirm my beastly theory. There I am, completely disheveled. My lipstick is smeared - my shirt is buttoned wrong, and my mascara has begun a mud slick down my cheeks. Who's that girl, and what the hell am I doing to the people I love?
Did I say love?
"You're the one who's hurting, Kenny. I don't want you to hurt." He pulls me in and wraps his arms around my waist, solid and strong. "I don't want you to do this anymore."
I lean back and take him in. His velum eyes illuminate in the night, causing my body to quiver at the sight of him.
"What don't you want me to do?" I say it low in the event I won't like the answer.
"Pretend like you don't care." His dimples press in like twin shadows. The muscles in his jaw clench as he swallows hard. "You're not the kind of girl who runs around after guys for the thrill of it. You had some vendetta to prove your stepfather wrong, and in an effort to prove a point, you came close to degrading yourself on a level that I'd never want for you in any lifetime." Cruise presses in like he's hedging for a kiss. There's a tenderness in his eyes that I've never seen before in him or anybody else. "You're special, Kenny. You deserve to be loved, wanted, and desired by someone who appreciates you for the treasure you are."
His words cover my wounds like a balm. All of the self-doubt, the self-incrimination, the pity parties rolled into one - Cruise is healing them with his mouth, his kind heart.
"Do you think I'm a treasure?" The words stream out like the plea of a child - an unpretentious question that has its hope pinned on only one answer.
"Yes." A smile blooms from his lips, and joy percolates to the surface. "I thought so right from the beginning. I never intended on throwing you to the wolves." A rumble of laughter ripples through his chest, and my body moves in rhythm. "Kenny?" He tilts into me. His features grow all together serious. "I don't want you to become the female version of me." His Adam's apple rises and falls. "I'm not so interested in being me anymore, either. When I saw you at the party that first night, you changed everything for the better. I think you're the best thing that's ever happened to me, Kendall Jordan." He takes in a breath as if he were bracing himself for a leap off the Empire State building. "And, I love you."
Every cell in my body sighs with relief. It's as if Cruise had taken me under the shelter of his wing, covered me in the membrane of those powerful words, and for the first time in my entire life, I feel safe, secure in every way.
"You love me?" I whisper it breathless at the thought of being loved by someone as kind and gorgeous as Cruise. I'm not sure I had ever heard those words from anyone outside of my mother, and from her, it was born with grief as if she were apologizing for my existence on some level.
"Yes, I love you." His brows dip in amused - baffled I could believe otherwise. "I love you, Kenny. I love everything about you."
Cruise sinks a kiss over my lips that emphasizes his newfound affection for me far greater than words could ever hope to express. He's pouring an intoxicating elixir right down into my soul through his loving lingual expression. This is ecstasy, rapture. Cruise is turning water into wine and I am ready and willing to drink down the miracle.
The snow dances over us, soft like a blessing. Cruise rides his warm hands up my shirt, singeing me with his heat, and suddenly I want nothing more than his entire body covering mine.
I pull back. My eyes remain closed an inordinate amount of time. I'm dizzy with his words, drunk on his kisses, and I want so much more from Cruise tonight.
I blink into him. He's still here. He's real. All of this is real.
"I love you, too, Cruise. I've never felt like this about anybody. I've never wanted anyone like I want you." I press my lips against his and drag them all the way to his ear. "Let's go home. I want to show you exactly how much I want you."
Cruise glides us over iced roads and lands us in the driveway at record speeds. He whisks me in his arms and carries me over the threshold with his lips adhered to mine. Perhaps he's afraid I'll change my mind, and this is his way of keeping me quiet, but the love he declared just moments before resonates through my soul like a bell you hear high and clear long after it's stopped ringing.
I slide down his leg, playfully tugging him toward his bedroom.
He shakes his head and pulls me into my room instead.
"It's this bed I haven't defiled. I want everything we share to be special - pure." He dots my forehead with a heated kiss. "I want you to remember this."
My heart thumps in a series of wild convulsions. Cruise wants this to be special, memorable, and pure. I don't turn on the lights. I simply flick off my heels and pull him to the mattress.
Cruise lies over me as we exchange a kiss that pulls out for eternity - the hot bite of lust fresh on his tongue. The bulge in his jeans aches for me already. I try to memorize the husky moans emanating from his throat, the way his body presses into mine as if it desires nothing more than to melt over me - into me. But deep inside I don't want to simply remember this, I want to relive it night after night.
My hands spread over his chest in one sweeping move and pull off his coat as I fumble with his buttons. Cruise peels off my jacket. We're all hands and teeth as we discard our clothes in staccato jerks. Cruise reduces me to panties and a bra, while I manage to strip him clean in less than a minute.
I pull back and examine him as an anemic spray of moonlight dusts over his body - his broad chest, the curves of his well-hewn arms. I run my hands over his skin and appreciate the granite-like texture, nothing but skin over steel. A ragged breath escapes me as I reach down and run my fingers through the soft curls just below his hips. Cruise is hard, like he was this afternoon, and this time there's no metric distance between us, no audience to depreciate the moment, just the two of us, all night, nowhere to go.
I close my fingers around him, and he lets out a heated breath.
"Kenny." He buries the whisper directly in my ear. My fingers flex over him. He's smooth, like velvet covering marble - a ridge traces up the back toward the tip. I run my hand to the base and touch him underneath where the skin is soft and tender, so incredibly full. It takes both my hands just to hold him.
"I love you," he whispers, dotting my neck with kisses. His hands slide down the back of my underwear and stop high on my hips. My body arches into his, and every ounce of me cries out for him to remove them, to explore every intimate part of me with his touch, his mouth. Cruise runs his fingers along the elastic and gives a gentle tug.
His heart pounds erratic over mine, letting me know without a doubt, he craves this as much as I do.
He pulls off my underwear, unhinges my bra, and I'm quick to toss it to the side. Cruise pulls me in with erotically slow, barely there kisses.
This unbearable ache to have him is mounting to an all-out explosion.
Cruise hikes up on his elbow and washes over me with a peaceable smile. I glance down at my pale arms, my breasts that bloom like magnolias in the night, paper-white and glowing.
His dimples flex as he takes me in. "I've never done this before," he whispers it like a secret buried in midnight, and for a moment, I wonder if all the male prowess was nothing but an act, but I doubt that.
"Done what?" I gently drag my nails across his chest like painting a picture. "Had sex?" I tease. "Are you feeling like a virgin?" I meant for it come out soaked in sarcasm, but it sails from my lips as if I were presenting him with a menu - myself as the virgin. I'm too locked up in the beauty of the moment to leverage any of this with humor. I run my fingers through his hair and quiver for him.
"I've had sex plenty of times, but I've never made love." He says it with an earnestness that can only be born from the truth.
Cruise lies back over me with the curve of a naughty smile - and the sheets - the bed - the room ignites in an invisible blaze. He pours over me with a string of molten kisses, dragging his lips to my breast, and my body electrifies with a charge of erotic bliss like I have never known. A staccato series of breaths choke out of me as his tongue lashes over my body. Cruise covers his mouth over my nipple and drinks me down, eliciting a groan from my throat as I tremble beneath him. My insides melt. A soft ache pinches my stomach as I writhe with fervor. Cruise enjoys each one in a wash of affection as if they were enough for the evening all on their own.
He slides down to the distal end of the bed and sinks a kiss just under my belly before gliding further south as if he had a far more intimate location in mind to grace me with his lips.
"Whoa." I hike up my elbows as a surge of panic rails through me. I try to reel him back by the wrist, but he rides his hands lower and presses my knees apart. Cruise buries the hot of his mouth over the most intimate part of my body before I can protest, and I let out a cry as his tongue rides over me.
A breath gets trapped in my lungs from the erotic shock. Cruise devours me at a quickened pace, and I dig my fingers in his hair as the room spins out of control. Cruise loses himself in me for a blissful eternity - hours, weeks, until a surge of pleasure rockets through me that redefines ecstasy on a whole new level. My back arches as my muscles spasm, leaving me to quake uncontrollably. Cruise sweeps soft kisses over my belly, and I cinch my legs together hard, still reeling from the oscillatory pitch of Cruise's love.
He gives a husky laugh as he swims back up and lands a kiss just shy of my ear.
"You came for me." He says it out of breath, brazenly covering my mouth with his, and I taste him, sweet and wet from his love for me.
I melt under the supervision of Cruise's affection, stunned into a honeyed surrender. Cruise was the sky, and I was his star. I want to shine for him, to radiate all of my glory. We were writing the lyrics to the most beautiful song with our bodies, and I want us to replay the chorus well into the future.
Diamonds and wedding bouquets spray out in my eyes. Something unimaginable has suddenly become my heart's desire.
I want nothing more than to drink down Cruise and all of his love - to tune our bodies to the same rhythm and never let this night end, never let this feeling dissolve like a vapor. What Cruise and I have is going to last. I can feel it in my bones. Cruise has found a crack in the armor. It's only fair he stays.
I want him to.
I want Cruise Elton in my life forever.
Cruise
Kenny lies beneath me warm and wet as summer rain. I bury my face in her hair and take in her scent, linen and lilacs. My chest riots against hers as she grazes my ear with her teeth.
I slip my hands over her nipples and roll them between my fingers before sinking below her waist.
"You're so wet." I grin like an idiot with my lids half closed, drugged from the pent-up tension my body is unforgivably trying to release. I reach over to the dresser, and she pulls me back by the neck.
"Where you think you're going?" It bubbles from her with a laugh. Kenny shines a killer smile up at me, her pale eyes flashing with lust.
"I need to get something. You know, keep us safe - protected."
She slips her hand around my dick and pulls me in like a leash.
"Hold that thought," I choke out the words.
"You don't need anything," she rasps it out, low and sultry. "I'm on the pill."
"You are?" I'm shocked. A girl like Kenny doesn't strike me as the type to voluntarily put her cherries on ice, especially when she's not utilizing the parts necessary to protect. I remember some girl telling me once she had been on it since the seventh grade to keep her periods in check. Maybe that's why. Either way, I don't plan on over-analyzing the situation.
I dive back down with a kiss, thrusting my tongue around her mouth as if we were waging battle. She wraps her legs around my waist and tries to guide me into her body, but I tease both her and my cock over the warm slick I've induced in her.
She lets out a whimper and pushes her hands into the small of my back, so I cave. Kenny wants this. She's pleading for it, and I plan on obliging her in every way possible, tonight and every night thereafter.
I interlace our fingers and raise her hands over the pillow. Kenny blinks up at me with a breath caught in her throat. The moon bleaches her out into pale perfection, hair as dark as midnight. She bites down on her lip, looking nervous as hell and far too beautiful to be gracing my bed. Kenny is the person I've waited for my entire life and didn't even know it.
I push in carefully, and her eyes blink back in ecstasy. A groan pulls from my gut as I bury myself deep inside her. I thrust in those last few inches, greedy for her to envelop me - warm and tight. Kenny lets out a gasp, and her eyes spring open. I run my tongue across her lips before collapsing my mouth over hers. I ease in and out of her body, methodic and slow, drinking down the moans of pleasure that strangle from her throat.
"Am I hurting you?" I blow the words in her ear, trying to control my breathing. It's taking all of my strength not to drive in fast and furious like a racehorse on fire, like I want to, the way my body demands.
She chokes out another moan. "No." She breaks the word in two equal parts, so I slow it down even further, pulling in and out lethargically as if I were back to teasing the both of us.
"Aw fuck, Kenny." I groan, losing all control. I bear down in an all-out assault and slam into her, unleashing my fury. "I'm going to come." I heave out the words, and my body trembles over her as I bury myself inside her, as deep as her body allows.
Kenny digs her nails into my back and holds me there with the strength of a lioness. She doesn't have to worry. I don't plan on moving. There isn't any other place on the planet I'd rather be. Kenny is a drug, and I've just had the best hit of my life. I'm not losing this addiction. I'm in, all the way, pledging my voluntarily servitude to the gateway of my desire. Kenny was the freedom I was longing for. Love and all this wild pent up desire, proved to be the combination that set me free. But only Kenny had the power to unleash me. She scrubbed the impurity from my life and washed clean the world, so I could see it stark and clear for the very first time. Kenny perfumed my existence with her regal charm, her sovereign splendor. Kenny is in everyway sublime.
I glance down at our bodies locked together, her smooth legs relaxing over mine. It's as if the floodgates to paradise have opened, and I want to run and explore everything with her by my side. She washed the tragic coating off this last year and painted it new with her body. She brought music to where there was only noise - color to a black and white world.
"What are you thinking about?" Her voice hums low and secretive as she tries to catch her breath. Kenny runs her fingers through my hair like strumming a guitar.
"You," I confess. "About how incredible you are." I peel a kiss from her lips.
"Did I do okay?" she asks, unsure, and I drink down her wide-eyed innocence.
"You did better than okay. I'd say that's an A plus, plus performance." I rumble a dry laugh over her as my body rouses from its temporary slumber. I'm growing again, this time inside of her. Kenny sucks in a breath and closes her eyes. "God, you're so beautiful. I love you so damn much it hurts."
"I love you, too." A smile glides up her cheek. "Don't let it hurt. Let it linger like a kiss that never ends."
"Like a kiss." I press my lips to hers. I never want anything I share with Kenny to end.
My hips grind over hers.
This time I try to make it last for the both of us.
