"I should like to begin," I say.
Asha leads me to the strange waterfall that seems to fall and rise at the same time."When you are ready, step through without fear."
I close my eyes. Take one breath and another. I can feel the Temple coming alive around me. The roses pushing through the cracks in the walls. The air, fragrant with their smell. The frescoes blooming with color. The soft sighs become distinct voices, many languages, but I can hear them all. The thrumming of my heart joins this chorus.
I am ready.
I step through the sheet of water to embrace my destiny. The well of eternity is a perfect circle of water so smooth there is nary a ripple. Its surface shows me everything at once. It shows me the realms, the world, the past, present, and perchance the future, though I cannot be certain. Does my destiny lie in those waters? Or is it only possibility? I stare into them, thinking of the form I wish the binding to take, the words I shall need.
I'm distracted by a sound. There is movement in the shadows of the cave.
There you will face your fear and perhaps come through the other side.
Something is coming. Miss Moore steps into the light, the captive Nell beside her. "Hello, Gemma. I've been waiting for you."
CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT
I LOOK BACK AT THE SHEET OF WATER THROUGH which I've entered. Clear as a picture, I can see the worried faces of Felicity, Pippa, and Ann. Only Asha betrays no emotion. I want to run back through the waterfall to safety. But safety is another illusion. I can only move forward.
"You can't actually touch the magic, can you? That's why you needed Nell. Why you need me. You can only control the magic through someone else."
"You are the Most High. It wants your words after all," she says. "Gemma, together, you and I can restore the power and the glory of the Order. We can do good things--glorious things. You have more magic in you than anyone in the history of the Order. There is no limit to what you and I could do." She offers her hand. I do not take it.
"You don't care about me," I say. "Your only desire is to control the magic and the realms."
"Gemma-"
"You have nothing to say to me that I want to hear."
"Will you please just listen to me?" she pleads."Do you know what it is to have your power taken from you? To forever surrender to someone else? I held power in my hands, I controlled my own destiny, and they took that away from me."
"The realms didn't choose you," I say, keeping the well between us.
"No. That is a lie they tell. The realms gifted me. The Order denied me. They chose your mother over me. She was the more compliant. She was willing to do as they asked."
"Leave my mother out of this."
"Is that what you want, Gemma? To be a faithful servant to them? Would you fight their battles, secure the Temple, bind the magic, and then hand it all over to them to administer as they like? What if they choose to leave you out? What if all this is taken from you now? Have they promised you anything?" They haven't. I've not questioned anything. I've done as they've asked.
"You know I'm speaking the truth. Why have they offered no aid? Why did they not bind the magic themselves? Because they couldn't do it without you. But once you bind the magic and there is no more danger, they will ask you to bring them in. They will take over. And you will be of no value to them unless you do exactly as they say. They won't care for you as I do."
"As you cared for Nell. As you cared for my mother." I practically spit the words.
"She promised to help me. She sent me a letter from Bombay and said she'd had a change of heart. Then she betrayed me to the Rakshana."
"So you killed her."
"No. Not me. The creature."
"It is the same thing."
"No, it isn't. You know very little about the dark spirits, Gemma. They will eat you alive. You need my help." She gives a last appeal."Without the magic, I cannot rid myself of my bond to these creatures, Gemma. You can save me from this wretched existence. I've spent years searching for the one, for you. Everything I've done, I've done for this moment, for this chance. We can form a new Order, Gemma. Just say the words. . . ."
"I saw what you did to those girls."
"It's horrible. I won't deny it. I have made many sacrifices for this," Miss Moore says. "What sacrifices will you be willing to make?"
"I will not do what you have done."
"You say that now. Every leader has blood on her hands."
