“How did it happen?”
“Ah, so you’re going to avoid my question. Very well. How did what happen?” He shook his head so his hair fell out of his eyes.
“How were you turned?” Her voice was hesitant, because she knew that it would upset him. Yet, part of her felt that she had to know. That she had to hear it from him.
His body froze and his eyes narrowed as he studied her face. “Why do you want to know that, Ree?” His jaw was tight and she could see the suspicion in his eyes.
She swallowed to buy time before responding. Should she tell him about her dream? Her mind teetered back and forth for a moment. If she told him about the dream, would he take that as an opening to say what he wanted from her? That scared her for so many reasons.
“I’m just curious,” she finally replied.
His eyes continued to search her face for something. When he finally sat up and scooted back against the footboard, she knew he was going to answer her question. Pain and fear radiated from him, making her regret asking. He was worried she would think less of him, but she didn’t know how to comfort him without giving away her dream.
“My family was very wealthy and wielded a great deal of political power. This meant that I spent a great deal of time networking, going to parties, negotiating deals on behalf of my father. The night I was turned I was at the house of my parents’ friends. The family was one of the largest and most influential families in our little part of Greece. I didn’t want to go, you know. I hated the duties that fell on me, hated the fake people and the backstabbing. To make it all worse, Tria was away on family business, which meant I wouldn’t have the comfort of her presence. She was my intended, but until our marriage was final, she still owed her family her service.” His eyes searched her face for a moment, and a wave of longing filled the room.
“Tria and Sophie were with their father, on the way to meet with merchants. He doted on his daughters and included them in his business dealings. I was prepared for an extremely dull evening of old men telling tales, but found that everyone was talking about a new girl. At first, I was relieved that there was something new to discuss. There was something different in the way she moved and spoke.” He closed his eyes for a moment, and Ree felt the inner pain the memory brought. “I wasn’t interested in knowing more about her, for I felt something dark about her motives. It’s hard to explain, but I knew that she was up to no good.
“She managed to manipulate me into walking with her in the garden. Once we were alone, she changed—morphed into the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. I wanted her, needed her. I promised her my fortune, marriage. I would have given her anything, even though there was a voice in the back of my mind screaming for me to wake up.” Curling his lip, he shook his head in disgust.
“Roland, you don’t have to tell me this.” Ree’s heart broke listening to his recounting. Adding his pain to the pain she felt in the dream was almost unbearable. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked this.”
“No, Ree. You have a right to know, don’t you?” Shaking his head, his eyes glazed over as he thought of that long-ago night. “She told me she wanted something else. When she asked me to kiss her, I could barely contain myself. When… when her mouth touched mine, the rest of the world ceased to exist. Nothing mattered until I heard Tria say my name. I saw her just before Della bit me. She was covered in blood and there was pain etched on her face. I wounded her that night….” His voice trailed off, lost in thought. Ree reached out to touch him, but he was across the room in a flash.
“No, Ree, don’t pity me. I can’t handle your sympathy after what I did to her. After what I did to you.” He paced the room while Ree sat there, dumbfounded.
“While I was at a party, Tria’s family was murdered by Dark Ones. While I was alone in a garden with a strange girl, Tria and Sophie were trying to figure out what was happening to them. They had come to find me, to warn me, and I was in the arms of another woman.” He looked at Ree, anger and hurt making his eyes bright. “Do not pity me, Ree. I don’t deserve it.”
She felt a sorrow so deep that it brought tears to her eyes as Roland looked at her. The self-loathing he felt was not something she could allow to continue. Moving slowly, she stood up and walked toward the Dark One standing in her bedroom. She knew that this vulnerable side of him was not something he shared with other people. She laced her fingers with his and studied his face.
“You don’t need me to forgive you, Roland. You know there was nothing you could have done, I know there was nothing you could have done, and Tria knew as well.” Taking a deep breath, Ree decided she would share her dream no matter what it might cause. He had suffered with this burden for centuries and deserved some closure. “Tria understood what was happening when she saw Della attack you. She never held that against you. When she called your name, it wasn’t because she had seen you with another woman, but because she feared for you.”
“You remember?” His shaky voice triggered the unshed tears in her eyes. Wet, salty lines traced paths down her cheeks. As if he couldn’t help himself, he pulled her against his chest and buried his face in her hair.
“I’m so sorry. So, so sorry.” He trembled against her, and she wrapped her arms around his waist. “Hurting you is the last thing I would ever want to do.” Tilting Ree’s head back with his hand, his lips moved toward hers.
Chapter 27
Jerking backward, she gave a small shake of her head. Her heart ached to kiss him, to get lost in his arms, but her stomach churned with discomfort. She looked into his eyes and tried to understand what she was feeling. The extreme opposites wrestling in her mind were overwhelming. She wanted to comfort him, to make him feel better, but she wasn’t sure that this was the right way to do it. And there was Paden. What would he say? The thought of hurting him made her close her eyes.
“Ree.” His eyes were wide, waiting for her rejection.
Shaking her head, she took a step back and watched as he let his hands fall to his side in defeat. His face fell and the hurt washed across the room, mingling with her guilt to make her miserable.
“I’m sorry, Roland. I like you and I dreamt tonight of how much Tria loved you, but I’m not Tria. Not anymore.” Tears filled her eyes, and she blinked to try and control them. “It’s so hard to distinguish what I feel from what Tria felt that I don’t know where I begin and she ends. But I do know that I don’t want to hurt you, and I don’t want to hurt Paden.”
“Maybe you can’t tell where you begin and where she ends because you feel something for me in this life as well.” Roland took a step closer to her. His eyes were soft and gentle. “Maybe you just need a little more time to figure it out. I can give you time, Ree. I have lots to spare.”
“I don’t know, Roland.” Shaking her head, she went to climb into her bed. She was taking the easy way out and putting space between them. “I feel like there’s so much I don’t know, and this is just the icing on the cake.” With sharp jerks, she straightened the wrinkles out of her bedspread.
“I’ll try to not push you, Ree. I don’t want to upset you. But I am going to do my best to win your heart.” Sitting down in the rocking chair, he turned so that he could see her face.
“That’s what scares me,” Ree whispered.
“Consider yourself warned, then.” Roland smiled at her before leaning back in the chair.
“Roland.”
“Hmm?” He cut his eyes to the side so he could see where she was sleeping.
“When did you change your name?” Twisting the blanket in her fingers she didn’t meet his eyes.
“I don’t remember the exact date, but it was somewhere in the 1800s. Why do you ask?” Curiosity filled his voice, even though his profile was relaxed.
“Dositeo was your name when you knew Tria. I just wondered when you changed it.” The steady rocking of the chair stopped, and he turned to look at Ree fully.
“How do you know that?”
“I dreamt of it tonight.” Biting her bottom lip, she looked up at him, hoping he wouldn’t ask for more details.
“Ah.” He was still for a long minute. “When I was in England with Sophie, I felt it was best to try and fit in a little better. I changed my name to Roland, while Sophie shortened hers. Her original name was Sophronia.” His voice became thoughtful. “I haven’t thought of her as Sophronia in a long while. Her name truly suits her. It means wise and sensible.”
“What does Dositeo mean?”
“God’s possession.” His voice held a bitter edge Ree wished she could erase.
“It’s a beautiful name, but I’m glad you changed it.”
“Really? Why?” A smile pulled at one side of his mouth.
“Because you’re no one’s possession. You’re Roland, the smart-aleck Dark One. You don’t take anyone’s crap. You belong to yourself. I like that about you.”
He laughed quietly, and Ree’s heart felt a little lighter for it. She hated seeing him upset. Whether that was something left over from Tria, or simply herself, she didn’t know and didn’t care.
“Thank you, Ree. I like that about me as well.”
The room grew quiet and it wasn’t long before Ree felt herself drifting to sleep. She felt safe with Roland watching her. Now, if only my dreams will leave me alone, was her last thought.
“Leave.” The soft voice was insistent. “You must leave now, Alastriana.”
“Who’s there?” Ree looked over her shoulder and pulled at the white strap that had slid down her arm. Looking down, she couldn’t dispel the confusion that slithered into her foggy mind. She was wearing a long white dress that fell to the floor in pleats. There was a gold armband encircling her bicep and earrings that tinkled when she moved her head.
“Leave, youngling. You must leave this dream.”
“Dream? Who’s there? Where am I?” Ree spun to look around, but she was in a large throne room, alone. Different sized thrones filled the room, some more grandiose than others.
“You’re in the gods’ home, but you must not stay. Leave before he realizes that you have crossed the boundary.” An old woman appeared before Ree, and she stepped back in shock. The woman’s silver hair hung around her shoulders, practically glowing against her midnight blue cloak. “I’ve managed to hide you for now, but I cannot do so for long.”
“I don’t understand. Who is looking for me?” Shaking her head, Ree looked at the woman.
“I dare not say his name, dear. If he finds you here, our efforts will be for nothing. Go home. You’re needed there.” The older woman stepped toward Ree. “Take care of what is yours, Ree McKenna.”
“Who are you?”
“Hecate.” The goddess placed a graceful hand on Ree’s shoulder and guided her away from the thrones. “Be wary of the blond god. He is more dangerous than the others acknowledge. Now, go home. They need you there.”
As things started to fade, Hecate’s voice filled her ears. “Trust your heart, Ree. I have faith in you.”
“Ree, we have to get out of here.” Paden tugged on her arm as she looked around in confusion. Flames and smoke flickered along the ceiling, casting shadows across his tired face. He moved away from her to look out the tall window and Ree caught sight of the limp form on the bed. The face was blank—not blank as in expressionless, but completely featureless. As if her mind couldn’t understand exactly what she was seeing.
The door behind Ree was flung open and she found herself face-to-face with Shannon’s boyfriend, Michael. His eyes were completely black and flames outlined his muscular frame. She was paralyzed, her feet unable to move as Paden launched himself at his one-time friend. Horrified, Ree watched as Tristan appeared behind the struggling forms of Michael and Paden. Her brother’s mouth was covered in blood and he grinned, baring his fangs as he brought a sword to the back of Paden’s exposed neck.
“Take care of what is yours, Alastriana.” Hecate’s voice floated through Ree’s mind as she jolted awake. Her heart beat quickly and tears were gathered in the corners of her eyes. Reaching for the bottled water on her nightstand, she took a large swallow to ease her sore throat.
“Are you okay, Ree?” Roland’s calm voice crept through the dark. The rocking chair’s motion stopped.
“I’m fine. Just bad dreams.” Putting the water bottle back on the small table, she noticed that her phone was blinking. Paden wanted to know if she was okay. Closing her eyes tightly, Ree wished that he was with her so that she could make sure he was still alive. She told him she was fine, that nightmares had woken her up. She couldn’t help but wonder if he had sensed her anxiety even though he was all the way at his house. After he promised to see her in the morning, she set the phone back down and stared at the shadows on her ceiling. Pulling the blanket up to her chin, she found it hard to go back to sleep. What had Hecate meant about crossing a boundary and protecting what belonged to Ree? Had she meant Paden belonged with her?
“Do you need anything?” Roland had resumed the gentle rocking of the chair, but his head was cocked so he could see her. “You were talking in your sleep. Is there anything you need to tell me?”
“I’m not sure, Roland. I’m just not sure what is going on anymore.” Ree rolled over onto her side and moved her pillow so it was folded underneath her cheek. “What did I say?”
“You asked where you were and said someone was looking for you. You also called out for the godling.” Roland’s voice was calm, but she could hear the sadness that underlay his words.
“I’m sorry, Roland.” Cringing, Ree bit her lip, not sure what else she could say.
“Don’t be sorry, Ree.” Sighing, Roland leaned his head back against the chair. “Alastrianas often have dreams that are more important than other people’s dreams. If you think you need to tell me or Sophie about your dreams, don’t hesitate.”
“I won’t.”
“Then go to sleep. You only have another hour or so before your alarm is set to go off.” He shifted in his seat. “I will probably be gone before you wake up—that way we won’t have a repeat of yesterday.”
Fear clutched at Ree’s throat, but she tried to keep her calm. She had thought she would want to be alone as much as possible, but with everything that was happening, she found the others’ presences comforted her in ways she hadn’t expected.
