I had my head on the counter when Alex nudged me awake.
I saw that breakfast was over and everyone had left.
“What really happened?” he said. “You didn’t fall off a shelf.”
“Who cares?” I said and tried to go back to sleep.
“I care!” he said. “Tell me what happened.”
“Go play with Niko,” I said.
“What do you mean?”
“You’re always off with him. Fixing everything. Running everything.”
“Dean, what happened to your face?”
“Jake hit me, okay?”
“Why? What did you do?” he asked.
I just stared at him and he stared back. He had this look of exasperation on his face. Irritation and disappointment.
“What did you do?” he repeated.
It hurt my feelings so much, that he would assume I had done something stupid. That I was the screw-up.
Never mind that I had actually done something stupid.
I wanted him to take my side first and ask questions later.
Tears came to my eyes.
“Get out of here,” I said.
“Dean—”
“Leave me alone!” I hollered. I turned my back and went into the pantry.
After a while, he left.
It was maybe an hour later. I had finished cleaning up breakfast and was just lying on the counter for a wee little nap, when Jake came by.
“Hey, books,” he said. “How you feeling?”
“I feel like hell,” I said.
“Yeah, I thought you might.”
He slipped a couple foil packs out of his pocket.
“Let’s get high,” he said.
“Yes,” I answered.
One of the EZ-melt pain pills from the day before and one triangular orange mystery pill later, I was flying.
I felt relaxed but energized. Loose and happy.
We decided to eat cookies.
We decided to eat one of every type of cookie in the very abundant cookie aisle.
“Friggin’ Chips Ahoy,” I said. “Classic.”
“Soft or hard?” Jake said.
“They’re not called soft, they’re called chewy,” I corrected him.
“Chewy!” He laughed. “You kill me.”
He grabbed some bags off the shelf.
“Here’s where we’re going to get into trouble. Mint Milanos. Orange Milanos. Plain Milanos. Double dark chocolate Milanos. Why do they need so many Milanos?”
“Yeah,” I agreed. “There’s like a Milano for every human being in the world.”
“Shoot,” Jake drawled. “There probably is now. There’s only twenty or so of us left!”
And we howled.
“Oh my God, I feel GREAT!” I said.
“I know. It’s crazy,” Jake said.
“Is this what you were taking the day of the elections?”
“Totally.”
“Wow. You so blew it.”
“I know.”
This struck us as hilarious.
“What are you guys doing?” asked Max, coming down the aisle.
I turned and ROARED at him.
Like a monster.
He screamed and ran away.
Me and Jake thought this was the funniest thing ever.
“Hey, you want to know something screwed up?”
“Sure,” I said.
“You know how they said the effects of the compounds on my blood type were, like, reproductive failure?”
“Yeah.”
“I can’t get it up,” Jake said. “That’s what they meant. I can’t get it up for anyone anymore.”
“Jeez!” I said. “For you? That’s like a tragedy.”
We started to laugh and laugh and laugh.
“Oh my God, I gotta piss,” Jake said. “Come on. Let’s go to the Dump.”
As we passed the Sports Department, we heard Sahalia laughing.
“What do we have here?” Jake said.
We found Sahalia and Brayden playing air hockey.
Sahalia was wearing what I can best describe as a costume. A sexy carpenter costume. Maybe a sexy farmer.
She had on a giant pair of men’s overalls, cut off at the knee. Under them she was wearing very little. A lace bra and matching lace panties. You could see the bra through them because the sides of overalls are totally open. You could also see the lace cutting over her hip. You could almost see where it connected with the thong part in the back but, hey, I wasn’t staring … too much … I don’t think.
“Hey, fellas!” said Brayden. “Want in on the game?”
“Aren’t you two supposed to be working?” Jake joked.
“I’m in charge of restocking the Automotive section,” Sahalia said sarcastically as she lined up a shot. “But I thought I’d take a break for an hour or three…”
“Friggin’ Niko with his schedule,” Brayden said. “He thinks he can tell everyone what to do at every moment of the day.”
“What can we do, Bray, he was the people’s choice,” Jake said.
I was starting to feel woozy.
“What’s with Geraldine?” Brayden asked.
“I’m good,” I said.
“He’s high,” Jake said.
Sahalia and Brayden laughed.
“Some face you got on you, Dean,” Brayden commented.
“You look like you got hit by a truck,” Sahalia said.
“Nope, he got hit by me,” Jake said, smiling at her. He flexed his biceps. “Feel that? Them’s the guns what wrought such wreckage!”
Sahalia felt Jake’s arm. She oohed and aahed.
“Jake’s got size, but I’ve got definition,” Brayden said, pushing Jake back and stepping up to Sahalia.
He made a muscle and she felt it. She pressed her body up against his and slid her hands up and down his bicep.
“Nice,” she murmured.
“Excuse me,” came Josie’s voice. “What is going on here?”
Brayden stepped back from Sahalia.
“Nothing,” he said.
“And what are you wearing, Sahalia?”
“Clothes, Josie,” she answered.
Josie’s face flushed and she grabbed Sahalia’s arm and spun her around.
“Enough!” Josie said. “We get it, okay? You’re sexy and you want to have sex with these guys. We get it. But, honey, it’s not going to happen because you are thirteen. Thir. Teen. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
“I’m fourteen in less than an month,” Sahalia answered.
“Go and put some clothes on,” Josie commanded her, pushing her out of the aisle.
“Hey, guys—” Brayden said.
“People dress like this, you know,” Sahalia said. “It’s a style.”
“Yeah, prostitutes dress like that!” Josie retorted.
This sort of reminded me of the discussion a controlling father might have with his teenage daughter. Except the teenage daughter was thirteen and the father was being played by a high school sophomore.
“You’re not the boss of me!” Sahalia shouted.
“Oh yeah?” Josie countered. “I’m in charge of the little kids and you are one of them.”
“I know more about sex than you do, you stuck-up bitch!”
Instead of yelling, Josie got up real close in Sahalia’s face.
“You are a child!” she said.
Niko came jogging over. He was dirty and sweating.
“What happened?” he asked. “I heard shouting.”
“Sahalia is throwing herself at the older boys,” Josie said. “And the way they’re responding, I don’t know what could happen.”
“Josie, we weren’t doing anything,” Brayden protested.
Josie turned on me. Me!
“And he’s high! Dean, you of all people! You are the one we count on to be dependable.”
“Okay, let’s settle down,” Jake slurred.
“She is thirteen,” Josie said, turning to Niko. I could see the tears in her eyes. They were about to spill. “A thirteen-year-old child.”
“I don’t like it when people talk about me like I’m not here,” Sahalia said. “I’m as grown-up as any of you. Jake and Bray know it. You’re just mad because they like me more than you.”
Sahalia threw her arms around Brayden’s neck.
He got red in the face, then he ducked out of her embrace.
“Sahalia,” he said. “You’re a kid. We hang out with you, but we’d never, like, do anything with you. I’m sorry.”
Her face crumpled.
For a moment, she really did look like the kid that she was.
She turned and ran down the aisle.
“You’re a jerk, Brayden,” Josie said. “I thought maybe you could change…”
Josie stormed off in the opposite direction.
Brayden held his hands up.
“Jesus! I do the right thing and everyone is pissed at me!”
Niko glanced at the three of us and then turned and walked after Josie.
Brayden turned to Jake and me.
“I need some of whatever you’re on.”
I left them after Brayden took the pills. I didn’t want any more. I didn’t really want anything more to do with them, to tell the truth.
And I had to lie down. ASAP.
I needed a favor and I didn’t have anyone else I could ask.
He was working at a desk near the kids. He had three or four different electronic devices spilled out on the desk and was grafting parts of them together.
“Alex,” I said. “Can you please do lunch for me?”
He looked up at me, cool and hurt.
“I guess.”
“And maybe dinner?”
“I don’t know,” he said, looking up at me. “Niko needs my help. Actual, real help. To run this place.”
I shrugged.
“I just need a favor, Alex,” I sighed. “I’m sorry.”
