It was as if she stood at the edge of a precipice, the black void at her feet a life without Ewen, as if choosing to leave him would swallow her into that vast emptiness. Lily knew then she would never leave him. Could never leave him, if she wanted to be whole.
She took those hands in hers and whispered, “Yes.” Emotion clutched at her throat and joy overwhelmed her as it became clear to Lily, perfect and uncomplicated, that her place was at Ewen’s side. That Ewen too would have it no other way. “Destroy it. ” She smiled.
“Then I ’ve a question for you,” Ewen said, hoarse with emotion. “Marry me, Lil’? Be my bride?”
“I will. ” Lily beamed. “I would love nothing more than to marry you, Ewen Cameron. ”
He laughed, and joy softened his features, the handsome man a flare of light bursting through his usual warrior’s mien.
“But there ’s one thing,” he said with mock severity. “A laird’s wife has certain duties, aye?”
“Really now?”
Suddenly serious, his voice thick with desire, Ewen replied,
“Oh, aye. ” He took Lily into his arms, his hands already roving hungrily over her body, eyes glinting like dark blue steel as they devoured her. “You’re to give yourself to your laird. ”
“Oh, aye ”, Lily murmured, and she gave her whole self.
Epilogue
She moaned, feeling the babe inside her turn and kick again. Lily shifted her weight. The plush furs on Ewen ’s bed had been divine before she became pregnant, but now, no matter what Lily did, she couldn’t get comfortable.
“He ’s a braw one, aye?” Ewen whispered, rubbing her belly, tugging her even closer to him. He thought that falling asleep only to wake the next day with Lily by his side was heaven on earth. But to wrap his hand around and feel the movement of his babe inside her was more than a man could dream of.
“A little too braw, for my tastes. I don ’t get why this kid is such a night owl. ”
Ewen ’s drowsy laugh was a husky, languid sound that never ceased to shoot a tremor of desire up through her legs, into her core.
“Go on, ha ha. ” Lily playfully kicked her feet against his hard-muscled legs. “You’re not the one who’s getting a tap dance on his insides. ”
“He ’ll give you a run for it, as wee John has. ”
“John isn ’t so wee anymore, by the way, and have you noticed how excited he is about the baby?”
“Aye, ” he laughed proudly, “I ’ll have to sell a parcel of land to keep that boy in paper. ”
“I know, I ’ve created a monster, haven ’t I? There ’s no more space left on the nursery walls from all of his artworks. ”
“Not a monster at all, Lil’ ” Ewen ’. s tone was suddenly serious. “You’ve done a fine job with the lad. He ’ll be laird some day, and mark me, he ’ll make Clan Cameron proud. ”
“Oh! ” Lily startled, as Finn leapt onto the bed, turned in circles by her feet, and plopped down with a loud groan.
“The gang’s all here now.” Despite Lily’s grumbling, there was laughter in her voice.
Ewen caressed Lily’s side, trying to soothe her restlessness. They had been married a mere handful of months when the bairn had quickened in her belly. Now her stomach was rounded and tight under her swollen breasts. She had never looked more beautiful to him.
They had held their wedding ceremony almost right away. Initially they’d wanted to wait until Donald made a full recovery, but the old man had protested heartily—and colorfully. Lily finally agreed they should exchange vows immediately, despite the grievous wounds of their best man, if only to stop his increasingly ribald exclamations that, as far as she could understand, had something to do with Ewen yoking himself to her.
“And by the way, da, you keep saying ‘he, ’ but he could be a she. There is a fifty-fifty chance, you know. ”
“Aye. ” Ewen patted her stomach possessively. “And a bonny lass she ’d be. Wee bonny Roberta.”
“Yes. ” Lily grinned at what sounded to her ears as a very adult name for a baby girl. “Or a young Master Robert. ”
They lay in silence for a while, letting the memory of Robert hang in the room. “Quiet yourself, love, ” Ewen rasped, tangling his fingers in her hair. “I can feel you thinking.”
“I know,” Lily admitted. They hadn ’t been married long and he already had the uncanny ability to read her thoughts.
“It’s just … I feel guilty. About Robert. I feel I should’ve warned him more, that maybe I could’ve saved him, changed the outcome somehow. ”
“Och, lass, there ’s no changing what must be. ” Ewen turned her face to look at him. “I see history like a road we travel, aye? And you ’ve no choice but to stay the course, as a wagon wheel along a rut in a well -worn path. ”
Stroking her hair, he leaned in to kiss her on the forehead.
“I can’t fathom the ways of the maze, why it called to
Robbie, or to you. If it serves only Clan Cameron, or if it only has regard for those of your bloodline. I do ken that it sent you here, to me, and it’s here with me that you’ll stay. ” Lily kissed him lightly, silently, in response. She ’d never know if she could’ve saved Robert, as he gave his own life to save theirs. But Lily could hope that her own appearance had helped spare the laird, and maybe his son, from a worse fate.
Ewen snuggled her close, massaging his hand along her side, and Lily could feel by the slowing of his touch that he was falling back asleep. She was fidgety, though, and refused to let him go yet. It was impossible to sleep with the baby turning leisurely somersaults and elbow salutes in her belly, and she ’d have just a little more company in the wee hours. Thinking to rouse him, Lily asked, “Is it true what I hear about Monk?”
“You mean his wife?” Ewen chuckled. Rumors abounded of a hasty marriage between Monk and his reputedly homely mistress. “Aye, so I gather. The claver about the castle is that she ’s beneath him. ”
The laird knew his wife well and, feeling her bristle at his last comment, quickly added, “I mean to say she’s… a lady of low extraction, aye? She ’s not of Monk’s circles. ”
“But you didn’t see her when you met with him last week?” “There was nary a sign of the woman. But, ” Ewen added derisively, “I wasn ’t exactly there to tour the sights, aye? Just because I ’ve a truce with the man, doesn’t mean I ’ll take tea with him. And besides, he showed me the MacKintosh petition and my appetite quit me. I wanted in, then out of his camp.”
“I can’t believe the MacKintosh is now trying to convince
Monk that he should have your lands. ”
“Aye. ” Ewen chuckled. “Fool thing, that. Though as long as he stays away from you and that bonny head of yours,
Lauchlan can write to Cromwell himself and welcome to it.
No MacKintosh will ever take Cameron lands. ” He gave a meaningful pause, then added, “Though he is welcome to that lass, Rowena. ”
“And won’t they have some interesting offspring?”
“Indeed, ” he laughed. “I imagine she was sore put to discover just where her new home would be. The MacKintosh installed her in the clan castle, on a gloomy spit of land in the middle of Loch Moy. I ’m certain Miss Rowena fancied herself holding court at Moy Hall instead, their estate outside Inverness. ”
Lily’s laughter joined his, her melancholy put aside. It was difficult to stay sad when she was with Ewen, especially since he ’d started showing her a lighthearted side that never failed to surprise her.
“So, are you relieved?” she asked, bringing the subject back around. “About the truce, I mean?”
“With a bonny new bride and a bairn on the way? How could I not be? Truly, lass, I will never accept a Monk or a Cromwell on my Highlands. But I ’m a peaceable man, aye? So long as I can keep my clansmen in arms, I ’ll give my word of honor that I ’ll not pick fights with the redcoats.”
“What if they start the fight?” Lily asked, already knowing the answer.
“Then,” Ewen spoke definitively, “they’ll suffer their actions. ”
Lily was silent.
“Och,” he soothed her, “don’t trouble yourself ove r the likes of Monk. I ’ve handled him well and tidily before and will do so again if needs be. You’ve fretting enough between our son and our babe.” He combed his fingers through her hair, the thick curls massed on the pillow above her head ashen in the darkness of their room. “So hush lass. Be calm. ”
Ewen ’s hand paused longer between each stroke. “What a sweet dream you are, Lil ’ ” he said drowsily. “I never know , if I ’m waking or sleeping when I ’m by your side. ”
She heard her husband’s breath deepen into a slow rhythm. Smiling, she muttered, “Well, if you don ’t know I ’ll tell you, you’re now sleeping, Mr. Cameron.” Lily took his hand, and entwining their fingers, placed it over her belly. When he relaxed, the man could drift off anywhere.
Ewen ’s warm touch and steady breathing lulled Lily into drowsiness. Lying in their bed, tucked in his arms, she felt sheltered, as though she’d traveled through time to find the safe haven of family with this very man. She only wished her grandmother could have met him. Lily smiled, hearing Gram in her head exclaiming, What a braw lad, your Ewen! Heavy-lidded, she watched as thin streaks of light slowly cut their way over the thick drapes, now glowing crimson from the sun creeping up the dawn sky.
With daybreak came the sounds of birdsong, growing louder outside the castle windows. Lily began to hum her own tune as thoughts of her grandmother brought a tightness to her throat. She began to sing softly, her voice trembling as it always did when she sang of the uncle her babe would be named for, and yet would never know.
