She turned smiling sweetly, "Drink your coffee. I'll be right back."
He nodded taking a long drink.
She poured a third mug and dumped a vial in. She stirred in a bit of cream, exactly the way Sam liked it. Her heart broke as she thought about him drinking it.
He walked into the kitchen as if on queue. She almost poured it down the drain but stopped herself. She didn’t want him against his will.
He smiled at her. She melted inside and passed him the mug.
He took it and drank, "Exactly the way I like it."
She smiled hating the feeling inside of her, "Yeah, friends know that kind of stuff about each other."
"Thanks friend."
She drank her coffee watching them.
Ben never asked her to come and sit by him again. Don didn’t smile and nod at her.
She watched Sam drink his. He seemed distracted by something on his iphone. She never let her eyes leave his face.
He looked at her with a blank stare, "Did you say something?"
She shook her head feeling her heart break.
She looked at Ben, "Ben you want another?"
He looked at her shaking his head, "No thanks Hanna. Hey Sam you got the movie downloaded yet?"
Sam nodded, "Oh yeah I do. Want to watch it now?"
Ben kicked Don, "Want to watch that movie we were talking about?"
Don looked back at Sam completely ignoring her, "You got it ready now?"
Ben looked over at Anne, "Want to watch a movie?"
She shrugged, "Sure whatevs."
Sam crossed his arms, "It's in my room. I'll just get it." He walked away not looking at her. She felt terrible. They never even asked her to watch the movie.
She walked behind him but passed his room to go to her own.
Her breathing had grown difficult with the lump building in her throat.
She sat on her bed sobbing into her hands. She wondered about her mother and how hard it would have been for her.
She looked at her blinking cell phone seeing a message. She scrolled over to the texts. It was from Marcus.
All it said was 'Tonight?'
She couldn’t, she knew seeing him would be a mistake. Her emotions had been under control, as under control as they got. Without him stimulating her every half an hour and with all the fighting she had barely noticed her sex drive. She was nearly back to her old self.
She text him back, 'No I can't'
'Why??'
'Super busy. Learning new thing's'
'Hanna I need you'
'No' She could feel the desire building in her as she thought about seeing him.
She knew it was unlikely he would risk coming looking for her. He would be pissing off Lorri and he tried to avoid her at all costs. It was unlikely he knew where she was. She didn’t even know. They hadn’t been allowed out of the apartment and the only person who ever came and went was the maid, well and Aimee. The maid never spoke to any of them no matter what they asked her or offered her.
'When I find you I will take you back'
His words weren’t a threat.
They were a fact. Him coming to look for her got more likely instantly.
She turned the phone off and lay back on her bed.
Everything was a mess.
At least Marcus had taken care of Andy. He would never recall her the way it happened, just the memory Marcus gave him. She missed Andy, she missed Roland. She remembered the smallest details about her life before. The mall, seeing a cute boy like Andy and giggling with her friends. She missed her friends.
Suddenly she realized she understood her father and his journals. Andy was his Mary. A normal human who could be injured in it all.
She wished Marcus would eventually come to grips with her not wanting to be the sexual animal he tried to make her into. The distance had been a good thing for her. Weeks away from him gave her perspective. She knew he was addicted to her in the same way as she was him. It definitely wasn’t love, no matter how she tried to spin it. She didn’t know how to making him see it though.
Her biggest problem was Sam. She loved Sam. The memories from the past months cleared as her heart emptied. Everything that had occurred in the months looked clear in her mind, without the emotions and feeling attached to them. Suddenly it was as if she knew it from the moment they'd kissed in the hallway at Lydia's. His kiss was the closest she would ever get to the true loves kiss Roland had told her of.
She pushed the thoughts of Sam away. His drinking the potion was more painful that anything she imagined she would ever have to bear. She wanted to find him a new cure to make him love her again.
She was shocked she could differentiate between her Siren and her heart. Her heart was a broken mess thinking about Sam and her Siren tried to imagine just how bad/good it was going to be when Marcus found her. She knew it was inevitable. He had all the money in the world and tons of resources. She could only stay hidden for so long.
It had taken weeks of blocking everything but she could see the difference between emotions and hormones.
"Hanna?" She heard a knock at her door.
"Yeah." She frowned, it had sounded like Lorri.
Sure enough Lorri walked into her room looking sympathetic, "How you doing?"
She shrugged, "Okay. Are you pissed at me for the other day?"
Lorri sat on the chair opposite her, "No kid. If I could force a bunch a guys to do my bidding I would do it in a heart beat, maybe faster."
Hanna laughed, "You can command all of us."
Lorri nodded, "I guess yeah. Not really the same thing though. You don’t adore me in the same way."
"Touché."
Lorri leaned forward, "You know why I'm here?"
Hanna thought for a moment, "Here on earth or my bedroom?"
Lorri laughed, Hanna hadn’t really heard her laugh without sarcasm before. "Your bedroom, jeeze like I really want to get into the whole life purpose nonsense."
Hanna shrugged, "My mojo obviously didn’t call you here unless you're on their team, which I know you're not. I'm going to say you have a bad feeling about Marcus?"
"Bingo. You have the same bad feeling?"
"Yup. He sent me a text an hour ago asking about seeing me tonight. I told him no."
Lorri looked cautiously at her, "It's been a long time and he's going to be going through withdrawals. I actually expected him at least a few weeks ago. You tell him where you were?"
"How could I? I have no idea where I am. Look, we held the maid upside down to check her pockets and nothing. She wont tell us a thing."
"Good. If he comes to your window like a night creeper, Hanna you can't let him in here. Keep the window closed at all times."
Hanna nodded feeling the intensity in her tone.
Lorri smirked, "Look I get it, a Siren's got to get laid just like any other girl but just not him, not in here. There's other reason okay. You may think you trust him, I know I don’t."
She laughed, "Lorri, dude, what? Gross, so not having this conversation. Yes. I will ensure the window stays closed. Jeeze."
She stood up and nodded, "Alright then we shouldn’t have a problem."
"Are Ari and Lucas okay? I know I kind of hung in here for a couple days, just didn’t want them to think I didn’t care."
She laughed, "No one can ever be more sorry than Ari for the things she's done. They're fine. Ari healed in an hour and Lucas in three. No one blames you. That’s what training is for." She walked out of the room leaving Hanna alone again.
Seconds later she heard another voice.
"Hanna?" She sat up as Giselle came into her room, "Hey have you seen Aimee any where?"
"I got her to go to my place and get something for me but she brought it back. I haven’t seen her since then."
"Oh okay. Thanks. She probably went to like Shane's or her dad's maybe."
"Giselle you okay?"
She didn’t look okay, her eyes looked puffy and her cheeks looked tear stained.
"Yeah, no I'm good."
Hanna got up off her bed and grabbed her hand. She pulled Giselle into her arms, "What's wrong?"
Giselle hugged her back trembling, "My dad died."
Hanna bit her lip, she knew that pain. She knew Giselle and her father hadn’t been close. She also knew no matter the depth of a relationship, loss hurt the same.
"I'm so sorry Giselle."
She sobbed into Hanna's shoulder and hair, "I hated him, kind of. He was a terrible dad. He was weird and he was mean to my mom. But he was my dad and I should have loved him more."
Hanna's eyes welled, "He knew you loved him. Trust me he knew."
"I haven’t called him in six months. Maybe longer." She cried into the mass of thick strawberry blond hair. Hanna helped her down to her bed. She let her drape across her as the tears poured out in a steady stream, equal in size with the regrets she spoke.
Hanna tried not to think about her own father, she tried not to remember his last words to her, or her own to him. Tears fell from her own face as she thought of the millions of things she'd wished in the months since her fathers death. Things she never let see the light of day.
Giselle wept on Hanna's bed until she fell asleep. Hanna never left her side. She remained stroking her hair and humming one of the odd songs Annabelle would hum.
"Hey you in here?" She looked up to see Sam's face in her doorway.
She didn’t look to see what was in his eyes, his flat tone said it all and her heart was broken enough.
She put her fingers to her lips.
He rushed into the room, "Are you alright?"
She nodded whispering, "Giselle's father has passed away. She got a text message from her mom."
He dropped to his knees, "Oh, wow that’s awful. Is she asleep?"
Hanna nodded.
His hands covered hers, she looked at them. He squeezed her hands.
"Do you want me to carry her to her room?"
She shook her head, "She shouldn’t be alone."
