Lizzie called me a bloody idiot for coming here today. She said I was mad going into town and now I'm here I have to agree. I wanted to stay at home but I had no choice. I've had too much time off recently. I was disciplined because of my absence record a couple of months back and now I don't get paid if I don't go in. They've threatened to kick me out if I don't turn up for work, and no matter how much I hate this job I can't afford to lose it. Maybe I'll be the only one who turns up today. Maybe I should just take a chance and turn round and go back home anyway. I don't know what's worse - the thought of sitting through another disciplinary meeting with Barry Penny and Tina or risking getting caught up in the kind of trouble we saw here last night.
The streets are quieter today. There are still plenty of people around but it feels more like a Sunday morning than a Wednesday. Everyone is silent and subdued and hardly anyone is talking to anyone else. I understand why it's like this. I don't want to talk to anyone either. I don't want to risk making any contact - even just looking at them - if there's a chance trouble's going to flare up. I keep my head down and my mouth shut and I guess that's what everyone else is doing too.
This feels bizarre. Last night when we were coming home from the hospital and later when I was talking to Harry it began to feel like the world was falling apart and coming to an end. The reality this morning feels different. Despite the quiet and the lack of conversation everything appears outwardly normal. It's hard to believe the things we've seen and heard about.
I cross Millennium Square to get to the office. It's a huge expanse of block-paving with a horrible modern fountain stuck right in the middle of it. It's right in the centre of town and people cross it from all directions to get to wherever it is they're supposed to be going. It's always busy. Between eight o'clock and nine in the morning, midday and two in the afternoon and pretty much anytime after four o'clock right through to the early hours this place is choc full of people. If there's a place you'd expect something to happen, this is it. Maybe I should have avoided it today, but that would have added at least another ten minutes to my walk to work and I'm running late as it is. It looks as if the authorities are ready for trouble. There are more police officers patrolling around here than I've ever seen on duty before and most, if not all of them, are armed. That might be normal elsewhere in the world but not here. Jesus, seeing officers walking through the crowd with their semi-automatic weapons primed and ready to fire makes me realise just how dangerous and unpredictable the situation now is. But surely their presence will just add to the problem, not diffuse it?
My last couple of minutes of freedom before I reach the office.
What is causing this to happen? As I walk through the silent, stony-faced crowds I can't help but wonder again what's responsible for all this madness and hysteria. What is it that's turning the world on its head? Has this whole situation been manufactured by the media as Lizzie's dad believes or is there more to it? Has anything really happened at all? Are people running scared from something that doesn't even exist? Or is there something in the water? Has something been sprayed into the air by terrorists? Are we living through some bizarre 'Invasion of the Body Snatchers' type scenario?
Or is it something worse than all of that?
Midday.
Less than half of the staff turned up for work today. I've tried to keep my head down as much as I can. Keeping busy makes the time go faster and I want today to pass as quickly as possible. I briefly spoke to Liz an hour or so ago. The school is closed again. They tried to open this morning but only half the children turned up and even fewer staff so Lizzie is spending another day stuck at home with the kids. They're driving her crazy but I know she's happier there. Wish I was back there too.
The lack of staff today means we're all stretched. Jennifer Reynolds is one of the people who hasn't turned up and that's meant all of us taking turns to cover Reception in hour-long shifts. If ever there was a day I didn't want to be out there it's today. Even Tina's had to take a turn. I've just finished my shift and Hilary Turner has come out to relieve me. I like Hilary. She's a sour-faced, frosty old spinster who's grossly overweight but she knows who does what around here and she doesn't take any crap. Unlike most of the other people I work with she's straight and honest. If she's got a problem with something you've done then she'll tell you to your face - none of the backstabbing bullshit you get from everyone else. She's hard as nails and I like her all the better for it.
'It's been quiet,' I tell her as she waddles towards me. 'No-one's been in.'
'That's the kiss of death,' she grumbles as she slumps heavily into the hot-seat behind the desk, 'they'll all start dragging themselves in here now I've come out.'
I'm about to tell her to shut up and stop being stupid when the main door flies open. She might be right. There's a sudden flurry of movement as a man storms into the building. He's carrying a handful of papers which he slams down onto the desk in front of Hilary. She jumps back. This guy is furious. He's seething with anger and suddenly I'm too scared to move. Is he one of them? Is he a Hater?
'Sort this out,' he screams. 'Sort this bloody mess out now!'
He slams his fist down on the counter again. His face is flushed red and he's breathing heavily. He's over six foot tall and he's built like a bloody rugby player. I should say something to him but I can't. I'm silently willing Hilary to speak (she's usually good at dealing with this sort of thing) but she's struck dumb too.
'You fucking people have clamped my car,' he yells. 'There were no signs and no markings. This is an absolute fucking disgrace. I've missed a meeting because of you people...'
I still can't move. He's still shouting but I've stopped listening to what he's saying. I stare into his face and slowly shuffle further back until I'm pressed up against the wall. Is this man really a Hater? Oh Christ, is he about to explode and kill us both? What the hell do I do? Do I just run? The man looks at Hilary and then at me. I try not to make eye contact but I can't help it. I can see Hilary out of the corner of my eye. She's shaking like a leaf. She's usually rock-hard but she's as frightened as I am. I have to do something.
'Look...' I start to say, my voice quiet and unsteady.
'Don't give me any bullshit,' he snaps, his voice no quieter or calmer, 'I don't want any bullshit. Just get this sorted out and do it now. I need to get back to my office. I'm at the end of my fucking tether here and if I don't get...'
He leans forward again and we both physically recoil.
'Please...' Hilary mumbles meekly. She starts to sob. Under the desk she presses the personal attack alarm. I can hear the high-pitched screech of the alert ringing out in the main office.
The man stops. His expression changes. He hears the sound too. He looks from me to Hilary and back again once more. His eyes are suddenly wide with shock and panic. What the hell's he got to be afraid of? He's the one who came in here and...
'I'm sorry,' he says quickly, taking a couple of steps back away from the desk. 'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to...'
Realisation dawns.
His voice is now at a fraction of its previous volume. Hilary and I are stood there, just waiting for him to explode again. Instead he crumbles. He realises that we're scared and now he's the one who's frightened that we're going to react.
'I'm not one of them,' he says, pleading with us to believe him. He looks like he has tears in his eyes. 'Honest I'm not. The parking ticket made me mad and I just over-reacted, that's all. I'm not a Hater. I don't want to fight. I'm not going to hurt anyone...'
I still can't do anything. I'm frozen to the spot. This whole situation feels alien and bizarre. It's an uneasy standoff which ends as quickly as it began. The man seems to be about to say something else but he doesn't. Instead he turns and walks out of the building, still clutching his parking ticket.
