“I told you, you’re kind of cute, for a minister, and—Oh!”
She was going to have to watch that sarcastic sense of humor, it obviously turned him on. He grabbed her against him again and devoured her once more. And he was delicious. Powerful and starving and passionate. He licked her lips apart and invaded her with his tongue. Then he kissed his way down her neck and was back on her mouth, feeding her a wonderful kiss that wouldn’t end. This is not what one expected from a good-goody preacher. Whoa, his chest and arms were so hard against her, his arms like vise grips. His kiss was hot, wet and wonderful, lasting a minute, then two.
Noah tried reciting the Psalms backward, but it was useless. He began to feel a burning lust, the tightness of desire and arousal. And it felt at once shameful and fabulous. He’d been with a couple of women the past several years, looking for something solid and satisfying, but no one had stirred him like this in a long, long time. He welcomed the feeling of his natural sexual response. It was real, and really great.
And she knew. She pressed against him, he held her tight, and there was not one secret between them. Finally, reluctantly, he freed her lips.
“Don’t even think about it,” she said.
He grinned in spite of himself. “Come on, Ellie. You can’t make me not think about it.”
“I’m not getting mixed up with someone like you. First of all, I’m all wrong for someone like you. Second, I’m clearing out the second I have my kids. Third…” She paused. “I don’t need a third. That’s good enough. Don’t ever do that again.”
“I haven’t kissed a woman like that in quite a while,” he said. “That was nice. Are you angry?” he asked.
“Did I taste angry?”
He just smiled. “You tasted wonderful. You’re right—it’s not such a good idea. Well, I mean, it is a good idea. But I see the potential for disaster.”
She pulled away and put a hand against her wild curls as if to smooth her hair into place. The hand trembled a bit; he’d never seen her rattled before. “You’re just going to get yourself in trouble with the Big Guy, and there’s no point in making your life tougher.”
“Nah, God’s not opposed to kissing. I think employers taking advantage of employees, however, could put a big black mark on the minus side of my chart. But you liked it,” he said. “You did. And I liked it. It felt pretty consensual to me.”
“I’m not the kind of woman a man like you gets interested in, and we both know that. Eventually that could hurt me. And if you really are a nice guy, hurting me will hurt you.”
“Because of that dancing thing?” he asked.
“That dancing thing, and I’m poor, undereducated, strapped with kids and very, very temporary.”
“Wait now,” he said. “I’m not trying to make an argument for interest, because you might be right—it might be a mistake that could get out of control. But you’re smart, no matter how much or little formal education you have. And I don’t believe you see your kids as a liability, and you know I don’t—I like them. And you won’t always be poor, not with your ambition and positive attitude.” He smiled gently. “The dancing doesn’t matter a damn. I understand about that.”
“I don’t want to be your bad girl. The one you take chances with for a little walk on the wild side. To break a few rules, have a little sinful fun.”
“Ellie, there’s not a bad bone in your body. And we both know it.”
“That isn’t really the point, Your Holiness…”
“Okay, let’s be rational. I apologize, I won’t do it again, but really—it was just a kiss.”
“Not the way you do it,” she said.
Ten
Ellie was wrong about one thing; for the first time in years Noah wasn’t lonely. He now had Ellie.
He hadn’t thought he was going to kiss her. He hadn’t even seen it coming. It wasn’t something he’d been aching to do but, in retrospect, it made sense. They had grown closer, sharing personal things about their lives, and despite Ellie’s wisecracking, they had fun together. They depended on each other. He liked her better and trusted her more by the day. She might look and talk like a diamond in the rough, but she had a simple wisdom about her that was addictive. Her honesty alone was alluring. She had a sharp, teasing tongue, but she was kind and genuine. She listened with compassion, with sympathy and not pity, as he ranted about his father. She didn’t suffer fools gladly. Anyone who doesn’t go to his daughter-in-law’s funeral would be a bastard in my book.
And there was that other thing that was overdue—strong feelings for a woman, feelings of desire. He was a thirty-five-year-old man with a perfectly healthy libido and throughout his adult life had enjoyed normal feelings of arousal. The past few years had been a bit lightweight in that department. He’d been out with women, even been in some very interesting clinches, but hadn’t met anyone that made him crazy with longing. He missed that and needed that in his life.
Noah wasn’t a complicated man. He had to admire more than one thing about a woman to desire her. He had to like her, to start with. He had to feel comfortable with her—all that teasing and arguing with Ellie, that was like friendship foreplay to him. Something that had been painfully absent from his life for the past several years—playfulness. He’d let his life get a little too serious. Ellie brought the laughter back to him.
The first time he laid eyes on her, her blatant sexuality had shocked him. She didn’t shock him anymore. Either she was playing it down a bit or he was getting used to her. True, she wasn’t wearing as much makeup, but why would she for cleaning and painting? But things that normally put him off, he’d begun to find amusing. Kind of cute. So completely Ellie. Like the long fingernails, painted a different shade almost every day, decorated with sparkles. In his opinion she’d gone from a spectacle of womanhood to pop art.
He hadn’t felt this alive or happy in years. She not only made him feel again, but made him feel fun again.
But, after he walked her home, he went back to the church, stood in front of the now-dark stained-glass window, looked up and said to himself, I promise I won’t let her down. I’ll find a way to be there for her while she recovers the life she has every right to. Amen.
“George?” Noah said into the phone.
He was answered with a grunt. And then, “God, man! It’s midnight!”
“I kissed her. Not a little affectionate peck on the cheek. I tickled her tonsils with my tongue.”
“Well now,” George said. He sat up in bed and felt around for his glasses. “I can’t tell if you’re bragging or apologizing.”
“This has disaster written all over it.”
“Ah. Bragging. No one loves a good disaster like Noah.” Then he chuckled. “And now?”
“Now I can’t wait to do it again.”
“Might want to put that off for a while, boy. Till you get settled down a little.”
There were certain things about one another that did not require further explanation. George didn’t ask Noah if he cared for her because Noah didn’t get involved with women who meant nothing to him. No need for Noah to explain that he was starting to care way too much and it worried him. From the hour of the call alone, George knew that.
“It’s probably just some good old-fashioned lust,” Noah said.
“Hmm, probably,” George agreed.
“Some of the best lust I can remember,” Noah said. “Christ above, this is all wrong.”
“We both know what’s wrong with it, son. Let’s take a second to talk about what’s right.”
“I can’t think of anything at the moment. Besides the lust, that is. And that she’s incredible. I never thought this would work—I thought it was a charity job, giving her the position to help her get her custody deal worked out. But I couldn’t ask for more. And she makes me laugh. She’s so sassy. And soft. Did I mention she’s soft?”
“Did you coerce her? Harass her? Emotionally blackmail her?” George asked.
“Of course not. I told her she could sue me.”
George chuckled. “Well, Noah, what a sweet-talker you are. No wonder the women are just falling at your feet.”
“She depends on me and the job.”
“Yes, you’ve explained. Is it likely she’s afraid that if she doesn’t yield, you or the job will vanish?”
Noah took a breath. “She is afraid of nothing. Even when she should be.”
“Noah, are you courting her?”
Dead silence hung in the air. And finally he said, “I’m fighting my libido, and for a while tonight it was winning. I don’t even know if I’m courting—it’s too new. I like her, of course. She intrigues me as much as she annoys me. I admire her, but I admit she’s strange to me. I’ve never known anyone like her. And of course she’s entirely the wrong kind of woman for me, in my circumstances.”
“Oh, I don’t know. Jesus hung out with Mary Magdalene. You don’t get more provocative than that.”
“Thanks a lot,” Noah grumbled.
“I’d better come up there. I was going to wait till you got rid of all the mouse shit, but I’d better come before you create some of your own.”
On Monday morning a couple of work crews descended on the church and got right to it. A few men on ladders and scaffolds were scraping old paint off the outside of the church; the sander was running over the sanctuary floor at the same time a man was working on replacing broken windows. In the basement, the concrete walls were being textured, and flooring was due to be delivered along with ceiling panels. There was a plumbing truck outside and Noah heard someone banging on the pipes, looking for leaks. Feeling as if he was just in the way, Noah left Ellie in charge of the phone and went to run errands.
First he went to the Goodwill and grabbed a few second- or third- or fourth-hand jackets and a handful of wool socks—fall was upon them and from what he heard, winter followed fall quickly. He wondered if his congregation, when he had one, would take on some of the needs in the town—castoffs to the poor, Thanksgiving and Christmas baskets, that sort of thing.
Next he went to the nursing home in Fortuna to watch TV with Sal. He hung around for about fifteen minutes of I Love Lucy and a little conversation. Sal was grumpy as ever but couldn’t disguise the way his eyes lit up when Noah stood in the doorway. Then Noah made a run by the hospital, visiting some young parents who had a seven-year-old in surgery.
He wasn’t all that anxious to get back to Virgin River, to the church. He was giving Ellie a wide berth because of the memorable, unforgettable way her lips tasted. If he closed his eyes he could recall it all in amazing detail. But he was very proud of his ability to act natural around her. Neither of them mentioned the kiss; neither of them behaved oddly. They had spent Saturday with the kids together and for all the world’s eyes, they were merely casual friends who worked together.
But he thought about her all the time.
Later that afternoon, after the hospital visit, he dropped in on Vanessa. He hadn’t called ahead or made an appointment, he just wanted to see how she was holding up. She came to the door with the sound of children yelling and crying at her back. There were dark rings under her eyes and she looked a little unkempt. “How’s it going?” he asked.
“Great,” she said unenthusiastically. She ran a hand through her hair. “I’m trying to get dinner ready for Paul and those two decided to skip naps. It gets a little wild sometimes.”
Noah stepped inside. Both kids were reaching out of the playpen with tear-stained faces. “Have they been crying long?” he asked.
“Oh, on and off the past couple of hours. Both of them are really cranky and tired.” She just shook her head.
