SAVANNAH
Tristan had given up.
Until that moment, I hadn't realized just how much faith I secretly had in him. Tristan was a fighter at heart, and he almost always got what he wanted. He wanted us to be together again, so if there was a real solution, he would find it.
Except this time he obviously hadn't.
He didn't have to tell me it was truly over. I could feel the frustration and despair rolling off of him every time we passed each other in the main hall between classes. I could see it in the bleakness in his eyes, in the defeated slump of his shoulders. And most of all in how he couldn't seem to look me in the eye anymore.
It was over.
I tried to tell myself that it wasn't the end of the world, that maybe someday my heart would heal and I'd find someone new.
When the lies didn't work, I tried to throw myself into school and Charmers stuff with the hope that, if I could just stay busy enough, then eventually I would find a way to breathe deeply again without that aching need to cry.
There wasn't a real sense of time passing over the next few weeks while I waited for our sophomore year to end. At home, I filled every spare second by helping Dad remove old wallpaper and flooring in the house. Unfortunately, this still left me with far too much free time now that the Charmers Spring Show and team auditions had passed. Team auditions day had been the one day when I actually hadn't had a single free moment for four blessed hours, as I'd had to shoulder all the manager workload while both of my fellow sophomore managers successfully re-auditioned for the team. I tried to be happy for them, and happy that it left me as the only choice for head manager for next year. Most of all, I tried not to regret the fact that the vamp council had banned me from ever dancing in public again so I wouldn't accidentally reveal my vamp side to humans. I doubted I could even remember how to dance now anyways.
In March, the team also held officer auditions. Mrs. Daniels had me stay late after school that day to run the music while she and two judges scored the candidates on their officer solo and group routines. Bethany Brookes became one of the junior lieutenant officers, which didn't surprise anyone. She was a good leader for the team, always willing to help others, always so happy and sweet and outgoing. It was like she had this perpetual ray of light beaming on her everywhere she went. Probably why her nickname on the dance team was Lil Miss Sunshine.
I wished I could be like her. But everything about my life was the polar opposite of hers. While Bethany was spinning in the spotlight, I was huddled in the dark backstage, and I couldn't find a way out. I wanted to be the girl I was a year ago, before I got sick and learned all my family's secrets, before I took a chance and let myself fall for a boy I could never have. Before Nanna died, and Mom was gone all the time on the road.
But I couldn't go back, and I couldn't change what I'd done or stop what I was now becoming. All I could do was fake a smile for my friends at lunch every day and pretend everything was all right.
And make sure I never looked back over my shoulder at the Clann table or the boy I could never be with again.
"Savannah?" Anne asked, her voice louder than usual in the cafeteria.
I jumped, knocking over my drink in the process. We all dived for napkins to sop up the spill while I muttered apologies. Well, there went my liquid lunch. All other food smelled too gross to eat lately.
"Are you in?" Anne repeated once Lake Savannah was managed on the table.
"In?" I stared at her in confusion. I really needed to stop spacing out so much around others.
"To go shopping this weekend," Michelle answered, staring at me. When I didn't answer, she added, "For dresses for the semiformal spring dance? We're going to the mall in Tyler this Saturday." Her tiny frame practically bounced in her seat.
A semiformal dance? Why would I want to go to that?
Carrie stared at me as if I were a new species of germ under a microscope.
Anne just rolled her eyes. "Earth to Miss Space Cadet. The dance is in two weeks. We're all going. Including you."
Cringing, I opened my mouth to argue.
Anne shook her head, her chestnut-colored ponytail swinging wildly. "No way, don't even think about bailing on me. These two have dates. I don't. Therefore you will be coming with me. I am not standing on the sidelines alone the whole night."
"Then why go-" I began.
"For the dresses, of course!" Anne grinned. "Hey, don't look at me like that. Even tomboys like me enjoy playing princess every once in a while."
Carrie snickered.
Anne ignored her. "Come on, Sav. You never do anything with us anymore. Just because we're not cool like your precious Charmers..."
It was my turn to groan and roll my eyes. "Don't start with that again."
Anne bared her teeth in the semblance of a smile. "Then don't make me! Come shopping with us. Come to the dance. Pretend to be human again for a change."
I froze. Did they know...?
No. No way could they guess my secrets. I was just being paranoid.
But maybe, just to be safe, I should try harder to fit in and be normal. "Fine." I sighed, already regretting giving in. "Let's go shopping this weekend."
Michelle squealed and started raving about some prom magazines she'd bought to help prep us for the occasion. I nodded and tried to look interested.
Suddenly, the full meaning of Anne's words registered with me.
"Wait a second." I turned toward her. "Why aren't you going with Ron?" She and Ron Abernathy had been dating for months, just like Tristan and me. In fact, their first date had been at the Charmers' masq ball last October.
Where Tristan and I had danced together outside in the leaves, the full moon's light making his fake knight's armor shine as if it had been plated in real silver...
"...so we're not seeing each other anymore," Anne finished in a mumble.
I'd spaced out again and missed hearing her answer. Geez, I was a crappy friend lately. "I'm sorry, it was too loud in here. What did you say?"
Anne stared at me then shrugged. "I said he and I got into an argument and I broke up with him. We're not together anymore."
"What was the fight about?"
Anne gathered up her things. "It was...family stuff. I really don't want to talk about it. And the bell's about to ring anyway. Come on, let's go."
I opened my mouth to argue but the bell rang, cutting me off. Then I got a good look at the set of Anne's chin. Stubborn as she was, I wouldn't get anything more about it from her today.
Obviously something major had happened that I'd missed either because I hadn't been paying attention or she hadn't wanted to tell me. When had she broken up with Ron? Had she been upset and I hadn't even noticed? Had she tried to call to talk about it?
I caught up to her at the trash cans. "Anne, wait. At least tell me when you broke up with him."
She took her time pouring her soda into the trash. "It was the week after your grandma..."
Oh. So that's why I hadn't heard about it. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. That week was-"
She gave a quick shake of her head. "Don't worry about it. I would have been out of it, too. Ready for third period?"
Part of me wanted to push her harder, find out what had happened. She had seemed completely blissed out every time Ron was around. What had changed?
Then again, who was I to try and pry the details of a painful story out of her? It wasn't like I'd told her anything about my own breakup with Tristan. Or how Nanna had really died, or my family's many secrets....
Yeah, I was definitely in no position to be nosy.
But it was one more thing between us pushing our friendship apart, and I didn't know how to fix it.
And yet, I had to try.
I did my best to stay in the present and pay attention that Saturday when we all went dress shopping in Tyler, first at the mall then at several boutiques Michelle had looked up. I wanted to care about dresses and hairstyles and the merits of gold jewelry versus silver and rhinestones versus pearls. Maybe if I pretended hard enough, I could forget about the reality of my crazy, messed-up life and be normal again, at least for a little while. And maybe then the growing distance between me and my friends would disappear.
I tried to act excited as I gave Michelle total freedom to put together my look for the dance. But she didn't make it easy when she picked out a long black satin dress with a plunging neckline and sequined straps. Black. On a vampire. It was so cliche it was ridiculous. Except she didn't know what I was turning into, and she insisted it made my pale skin and red hair glow. More like glow in the dark. Still, what did I care how I looked? I wouldn't be there with Tristan, and I would never be interested in anyone else. So as long as it made Michelle happy, it was fine with me.
"Hey, Sav, are you okay?" Michelle asked, surprising me from my thoughts as I sat in Anne's desk chair the following Saturday night. I hadn't even noticed her walk over.
Anne continued to tease Carrie mercilessly about being too wimpy to let Michelle apply her mascara. Carrie calmly ignored her as she sat on the daybed and put on mascara with the help of a small compact mirror.
"I'm fine," I lied to Michelle, having to swallow back a lump so I could talk.
Carrie suddenly swiped Anne on the tip of the nose with the mascara wand, leaving a big spot of black. Anne screeched and stole the mirror, then licked her finger to wash off the spot. She called Carrie a rude name then stuck her wet finger in Carrie's ear, making the blonde shriek out a few choice words about Anne's germs.
"Watch your mouth, missy!" Carrie's mother yelled from the living room where all three sets of their parents waited, no doubt armed with cameras and video recorders.
My mother was on the road somewhere in Arkansas tonight, unaware I was even going to the dance. I hadn't mentioned it to her, and apparently neither had Dad. And of course the idea of being here to record the night in a scrapbook had probably never even occurred to my dad.
Did vampires scrapbook?
Probably not. They wouldn't want a visual record of just how long they had lived.
"But Mom-" Carrie began.
"Carrie Lynn, you watch that mouth or you'll go to that dance with a mouthful of soap."
That made me crack my first sincere smile of the evening.
Michelle giggled, then dropped to her knees beside me on the thick carpet. "It's good to see you smiling again."
I blinked at her, unsure how to respond. "Sorry. Guess I've been a bit of a downer lately."
She shrugged. "I would be too if I lost a guy that hot and then he turned around and started dating Bethany Brookes like it was no big deal." Scowling, she sat back on her bare feet. "I thought you two were going to get back together! Especially after he called me the night of the Charmers Spring Show."
Wait, what? It felt like my eyes were about to pop out of my head as I struggled to choose which question to ask first. And how did she even know I'd been dating him? I hadn't told anyone but Anne. Someone else must have blabbed. Maybe someone in the Clann, like one of the Brat Twins? Or maybe a Charmer...one of the dancers or managers might have put two and two together after noticing Tristan and I were both gone from school and Spring Show practice at the same time and then he quit volunteering to help the team.
That answered how Michelle might have heard about us, but not the rest of it.
I took a breath and started with one question at a time. "He's dating Bethany?"
She nodded, her hazel eyes big and solemn. "Rumor has it they're going to the dance together."
Wow, he sure waited a long time to get over me and move on.
Once again, I found myself trapped in a battle between my head and my heart. Logically I knew I should be happy for him. Bethany would make him laugh, go to parties with him, eat lunch in the cafeteria with him and the descendants. His parents would probably adore her, too. If I really loved him, I should want nothing but the best for him, right?
My heart said it infinitely preferred for him to be as miserable as I was for the rest of his life.
I sighed and moved on to the next question. "Why did he call you the night of the Spring Show?"
"He wanted to know where you had moved to. He needed to talk to your dad, I think. He made it sound like he wanted to get your dad's permission to date you publicly or something."
My breath caught in my lungs and refused to budge. There was only one possible reason that he would want to talk to my dad. And it wasn't to get permission to date me publicly. Dad didn't have that kind of clout with the vamp council. But he could turn a human into a vampire.
Why was I surprised that Tristan would have asked my dad to turn him? Of course Tristan would have tried everything he could think of to get us back together.
Michelle glanced over her shoulder then shot to her feet. "Anne, you stop that right now! You're going to ruin my creation."
Still in shock, I barely had time to move my feet out of her path before she took off across the room to grab Anne's wrist and wrench a brush away.
"But you left all this down," Anne complained from where she was leaning down in front of her vanity trying to pin up the hair at the nape of her neck.
"Those curls are supposed to be down," Michelle argued, batting Anne's hands away. "It adds to the cascade effect."
"More like the sloppy effect," Anne muttered back. "It looks like I didn't use enough hairspray or something."
I clutched the sides of the chair by my legs, staring down at the black satin shimmering over my knees. Tristan had gone to ask my dad to turn him.
And yet now he was dating someone else.
What had Dad said to convince Tristan so completely to give up on us?
The doorbell rang, announcing the arrival of Carrie's and Michelle's dates. I went through the motions of posing for group shots in the living room while their parents buzzed around us, their camera flashes blinding me as my mind circled in confusion. Tristan's actions didn't make sense. First he made me think I would never get him to see the reality of our situation. Then he apparently went on a suicide mission to my dad to ask to be turned even though he knew the turning process could only result in his death and the start of a brand-new war between the vamps and the witches. And now just a few weeks later...he was dating Bethany Brookes.
The camera flashes stopped, but my thoughts didn't. Nor did the lump in my throat go away.
Michelle and Carrie rode with their dates in Carrie's car, and Anne and I followed in Anne's truck to the JHS campus where the dance was being held in the cafeteria. I was momentarily distracted by the process of trying to exit the truck without revealing my underwear to everyone in the parking lot. Slits in dresses were both a blessing and a curse, allowing us to walk but making the climb out of a truck a real problem. Then we were all together again and stumbling on our heels across the parking lot and into the cafeteria.
The inside of the circular room had been transformed for the night. The dance committee, headed by the senior cheerleaders, had chosen Night at the Movies for the theme. We navigated our group around twelve-foot-high cardboard reels of movie film and equally giant buckets filled with yellow and white balloons tied in bunches to look like enormous popcorn, as a white fog from an unseen fog machine swirled around our ankles. Most of the tables and chairs had been removed to allow room for dancing, so we cut straight across the room toward the back.
Anne led us all up a set of carpeted stairs I'd never paid attention to before. They ended at a loft space above the kitchens and serving area. Tonight the second floor was decorated with a shimmering silver curtain backdrop and several movie reels as props for professional photos, which Anne insisted we had to have taken of our group right away in order to beat the line she was sure would develop soon.
Wait a second. Photographs. Now that I was definitely turning into a full vamp, were photos a problem? I'd had plenty taken before, of course. And earlier at Anne's house, I'd been too in shock about Tristan to think about all the pictures the parents were taking of us.
But now I had time to think. And freak out. Wasn't there some rule about how vampires couldn't show up in photos? What if that was true? I'd never asked Dad about it. We'd covered everything else...the bloodlust, draining with a kiss, stakes, decapitation, holy water, garlic, crosses and churches and Bibles and holy ground and fire, even how our hybrid race of vamps was supposedly the creation of the demoness Lilith, who according to Jewish myths was once the true first wife of Adam. But vamps and photos? Nope, we'd missed that one. Was my vamp side developed enough that this would apply to me too now? Would I simply not show up in the photos and freak everyone out later?
A quick call to Dad would clear the question right up. I fumbled in my handbag for my cell phone.
"Sav, it's our turn." Anne tugged at my wrist.
"Wait, I just need to make a quick-"
"Later," she said, pulling me ever closer to the silver tinsel-draped backdrop where the others were already being posed by the photographer.
I found Dad's number on speed dial. "Okay. Just let me call my dad first."
Anne snatched the phone away just as I hit the call button. "And to think you used to hate these things! Five seconds, pretty princess, then you can make your precious phone call."
"Would you give me that?" I lunged for the phone, but she was faster, dropping it down the front of her dress into her cleavage.
"Anne!" I gasped.
"Not going after it there, are ya?" She snickered. "Now turn around and say cheese."
I turned toward the photographer's voice and formed some semblance of a shocked smile.
Then I heard Dad's voice coming from between my best friend's boobs.
Silence reigned for five long seconds as Dad called out my name in question.
Then everyone erupted in laughter. Even me. And oh, man, did it feel good to laugh like that, as if I was taking my first deep breath after drowning for months.
Anne's cheeks turned pink as she bent forward at the waist and reached down the front of her dress. Then her head popped up as she gasped. "Oh no."
"Savannah? Savannah! Are you okay?" Dad yelled from somewhere below Anne's chest. Judging by the rectangular bulge now at Anne's stomach, the phone had slid way past her bra.
The group laughter turned hysterical at that point, and my eyes teared up as Anne shimmied and wiggled, trying to get the phone out of her dress.
"Oh no, my makeup jobs!" Michelle wailed as apparently Carrie and Anne both teared up, too. "Come on."
Michelle hustled all of us, still laughing, down the stairs toward the bathrooms.
"Quit bumping me or it's gonna fall out and break on the stairs," Anne hissed, still clutching the phone at her stomach, as we passed another group headed up the stairs. They froze and stared at us in horror.
"Dad, hold on, I'm fine," I called out toward Anne's stomach. "Just..." I was laughing too hard to breathe properly. "Just hang up. I'll call back and explain later, I promise."
In the bathroom, we all grabbed handfuls of toilet paper and tried to repair our eye makeup as best we could. I'd never had much on to start with, thank goodness. But Carrie looked like a raccoon, which made me laugh even harder.
Anne went into one of the two stalls, her expression sour. "I should throw this darn thing down the toilet."
"I am still here and waiting for an explanation." Dad sounded more than a little tense.
I snickered behind a hand to muffle the laughter. Bet he'd never been in quite this position before.
"Oh, um, sorry sir," Anne said. "Just let me get you out from under my dress..."
"I can assure you I am presently nowhere near you or your dress," Dad snapped. "Are you girls high on something?"
Carrie, Michelle and I all howled with fresh laughter.
Red-faced, Anne finally emerged from the stall and held out my phone.
"Ew, you are going to wipe it off, right?" Carrie's nose wrinkled with disgust.
"It wasn't... I had a shower this... Oh fine." Giving up, Anne wiped the phone with a paper towel, hanging up on my father in the process.
Oooh, that was going to tick him off for sure. "Better let me call him back quick," I said, still smiling as Anne gave me the phone. I found his number, hit the call button, lifted it to my ear, then pretended to sniff my phone. "Hey, Anne, you wearing a new perfume tonight?"
That set Carrie and Michelle off into fresh giggles.
Dad answered on the first ring. "What is going-"
"Sorry, Dad," I interrupted the potential tirade. "I was going to call you and ask you if it was okay for me to get photos taken here at the dance. But Anne stole my phone and hid it in the only, um, pocket she had in her dress. And then she had a...wardrobe malfunction and had trouble getting the phone back out." A snicker escaped me. "I'm sorry if we worried you."
A long pause filled the connection before he cleared his throat. "Well, at least you sound as if you are having a good time for a change. Call me before you leave."
His words surprised me. He was right. I was actually having a good time. A great time, in fact.
Now if I could just avoid seeing Tristan dancing with Bethany all night...
