TRISTAN
I had a real love/hate thing going on with English lit this year. Sometimes I was grateful just for the chance to sit beside Savannah and sneak glances at her when she was busy reading or writing something.
But she wasn't exactly making it easy for me to forget about her when she showed up wearing skirts and heels that showed off her awesome long legs.
Was she trying to torture me now? I'd never thought of her as the sadistic type. Maybe it was a sign of her vampire side taking over.
She uncrossed her feet and tucked them under her desk, making little stones on her heels wink and shine.
Geez. I'd never even paid attention to girls' shoes before. Sav was turning me into some kind of a shoe freak.
Savannah's feet twitched.
A coincidence that I'd just been thinking about them. Right?
I looked at her directly, checking to see if she was looking my way. She turned the opposite direction, bending down to search her Charmers bag for something. An excuse to avoid eye contact? Probably.
Maybe I should try to talk to her after class, see how she reacted.
She jumped then froze in her seat, her shoulders hunching up. Almost as if she'd heard me.
No, she couldn't have. Everyone knew vampires and witches couldn't read each others' minds. It was a basic survival mechanism that both our species had evolved over the centuries to protect ourselves from each other.
So if I grabbed my book and dropped it on the floor...
I started to pick up my textbook from my desktop, and her entire body flinched as if I'd already dropped the book.
Slowly she sat back up in her seat and appeared to be copying notes from the classroom board again.
Very carefully, I thought, Savannah. Can you hear me?
Her writing hand jerked, her pen making a slash of blue across her paper.
I waited for her to look at me. Instead, she went back to her note taking, her mouth tightening. It was the first sign of emotion I'd seen on her face in months, since our argument at Charmers practice last year. I'd begun to wonder if her face had become permanently frozen in that Ice Queen mask I was really beginning to hate. She used to be so easy to read, every emotion plain as daylight both on her face and in the way her eyes changed colors to match her moods.
Lately, all those irises had displayed was that same icy silver-gray.
On purpose now, I remembered the last time I'd held her in the council's jet...the way she'd sat in my lap, her head on my shoulder, her arms around me. Her fingertips slowly rubbing tiny circles on my shirt. The lavender scent of her hair beneath my chin. The way it had felt to kiss her...
She sighed. But that could have been another coincidence.
So I tried another tactic that would hopefully get a more obvious reaction from her. I pictured myself kissing Bethany under the bleachers at the practice field. We'd never actually done this. I'd been careful not to lead Bethany on and only kissed her cheek goodbye sometimes. We probably hung out together too much as it was, but Bethany was a good friend.
But I didn't think about the facts now. I imagined holding Bethany in my arms, stroking her back, my hands tangling in her hair...
Savannah's pen snapped in half, spilling ink all over her writing hand and notes. Jaw clenched, she got up to throw both in the trash by the classroom door then asked permission from the teacher to wash up in the restroom.
Oh yeah, Savannah could definitely hear my thoughts.
The only question was whether I could hear hers, too, if I tried.
I kicked back in my seat and pretended to be focused on taking notes along with everyone else. When Savannah returned, I didn't look up. I waited until she was back in her seat and writing again. Then I willed myself to hear her mind, which was all it usually took unless the target was a descendant trained to block their thoughts from others.
I picked up nothing. Not even a stray word or image from her thoughts. No static or music or any hint that she was actively trying to block me out.
I tried harder, staring straight at her now, focusing all my energy on the effort.
She sucked in air through her nose and rubbed her forearms as goose bumps appeared all over her skin.
Crap. I'd forgotten to keep my energy under control.
Sorry, I thought, pulling the energy level back down.
"It's okay," she replied, then froze, her eyes wide.
"What's okay?" the teacher asked from her desk two yards away.
"Oh. I, um..." Savannah began.
"I was apologizing to her for forgetting our study session," Ron said.
Which was total bull. Savannah hadn't even been looking at him.
Ron was covering for her. But why?
She had been going to the library with him during lunch a lot lately. To study together?
Why not study together in the cafeteria instead where everyone could see them?
Ron went out with Anne last year. Maybe Sav was dating him now and trying to hide it from Anne?
No, Savannah wouldn't do that. She would never hurt her best friend by sneaking around with Anne's ex.
Then again, Savannah had spent months secretly dating me last year. Maybe she'd grown to like that kind of thing.
When the lunch bell rang, I took my time grabbing my stuff so Ron and Savannah could leave first. Then I followed them into the main hall. I stopped by my locker, pretending to need to switch out books while watching them walk together down the hall. Ron must have said something funny, because Savannah laughed. She bumped shoulders with him. Then he stopped and opened the library door, holding it so she could go in first.
I stood there, frozen, while the only girl I'd ever loved disappeared into the library for a lunchtime date with someone else. But this time, watching her with another guy was way worse than when she'd dated Greg the soccer jerk. Because this time, I knew what it felt like to hold her, kiss her, see her blush and know I'd caused it. This time, her being with someone else meant I'd truly lost her.
Savannah had moved on.
That afternoon at football practice, I watched Ron. The guy actually had the nerve to nod hello at me as we headed out to the back practice field.
I didn't nod back.
Ron was a running back, and I was an offensive lineman. Technically my job was to help him catch or carry the ball for a touchdown. I'd worked my butt off for months to earn my spot back on the team after missing half of last year.
But even the risk of ticking off the coach couldn't help me resist the urge to miss a few key blocks that were supposed to clear Ron's path. As a result, Ron got creamed several times. After the fourth time, Ron finally got a clue.
"What's the deal, man?" he growled as he yanked chunks of grass and mud from his face mask.
"Whoops. I just keep on forgetting that darn play. Is it sweep right, or sweep left?" I said with the fakest smile I could manage.
He stared at me for a few seconds then stomped off.
When practice ended, he didn't nod goodbye as we headed out the field house exit at the same time.
I was so focused on resisting the urge to magically smack him in the back that I nearly ran over Bethany waiting outside the door.
"Oh. Hey." Confused, I stared down at her. Had we agreed to meet up and I'd forgotten? It wouldn't be the first time I'd told her something then spaced out on it later. Why she never got angry was beyond me.
"Hi." Smiling, she tucked her hair behind her ear. "Um, I'm sorry to have to ask, but could you give me a ride home? My car won't start."
"Yeah, sure." A ride home was the least I could do for her after she'd helped me so much all summer, first in bringing my homework to me and prepping me for last year's final exams while I was in the hospital after my wreck, and then taking me to physical training sessions for weeks afterward. I couldn't even count the hours she'd spent cheering me through the sometimes painful recovery.
"Thanks." Her smile turned from embarrassed and hesitant to grateful.
We walked together through the coaches' lot to the parking lot by the sports and arts building where I'd started parking lately.
"Everyone else gone for the day already?" I asked just for something to say. Bethany never seemed to mind the frequent bouts of silence between us, but I did. Savannah and I had never had a problem finding stuff to talk about. The silences with Bethany were my fault. I didn't pay close enough attention to think up stuff to say.
"Yeah. Savannah's still here somewhere, though. I was going to try and find her if you were gone already."
My feet slowed like they had a mind of their own. I glanced toward the front parking lot partially visible between the cafeteria and math buildings. Sure enough, Sav's small primer-gray pickup truck was still there, the only vehicle in the lot's growing gloom. Which meant its owner was probably up on the third floor of the sports and arts building, locking up the dance rooms. Alone.
Unless Ron was with her...
At my truck now, I unlocked the driver's side door, tried to hit the electric button on the inside handle to unlock the passenger side for Bethany, then remembered. My new truck was actually an older used vehicle and didn't have quite the number of upgrades my previous one had, including power locks.
Sighing, I leaned across the single cab's bench-style seat and jerked up the lock so Bethany could get in. While she did, I glanced around us.
Ron's stupid black Mustang was already gone. Which meant Sav really was all alone on campus.
I shouldn't care anymore. She'd dumped me. Twice, even though I'd all but begged her not to. And she had a new boyfriend. I should let him worry about her now. She'd made it more than clear that I was the only one still hung up on the past.
Not to mention she was a vampire. They could handle themselves. Supposedly. Heck, she was practically the enemy now, one of the only monsters on the planet that I was supposed to fear.
All of that made for a long list of good reasons that I should drive out of here without a single look back.
Except I couldn't do it.
Cursing under my breath, I threw my door open.
"Tristan?"
Crap. I'd forgotten about Bethany. "Uh, I forgot something. Lock the doors. I'll be right back." I started the truck and turned on the heater. Then I headed back to the field house, taking my time and keeping one eye on the sports and arts building's foyer doors where Sav would have to exit when she left.
At the field house, I realized I didn't have a single reason to be there. So I pretended to look for something in my locker for a few minutes. Then I headed back, taking my time crossing through the back lot. At the corner of the girls' gym, I paused, feeling like an idiot, hands shoved inside my wool letterman jacket as the early evening steadily grew cooler now that the sun had finished setting.
Mercifully, I didn't have to wait long, as Sav emerged a couple of minutes later.
I took my time returning to my truck as Sav headed down the cement ramp that led away from the building's foyer doors. We had to be at least a hundred yards or more away from each other, the lot barely lit by a couple of lights. And yet she still looked right at me. She hesitated at the end of the ramp for a second, like she didn't know what to do. And even knowing she didn't care anymore couldn't stop my heart from taking off like a jackhammer.
Her hands fisted around the shoulder strap of her duffel bag as she turned in the opposite direction and walked across the grass past the math and cafeteria buildings.
I returned to my truck, and Bethany leaned over to unlock the door for me.
"Did you find it?" she asked as I slid in behind the wheel.
"Find what?" I put on my seat belt, fiddled with the heater and the radio. Finally, headlights shone from the front parking lot then swung away.
I shifted my truck into gear and followed those taillights at a distance.
"Whatever you were looking for. Did you find it?" Bethany patiently repeated.
"No, I didn't."
