TRISTAN
Savannah's grandmother, Mrs. Evans, appeared to be awake but immobilized in the air. The Clann must have caught her before she could get dressed; her long cotton nightgown floated around her legs and bare feet in slow motion as if she were a ghost. Savannah took a step toward her, and the descendants began to mutter. Hearing them, Savannah froze, her eyes narrowing and turning moss-green. A sure sign she was beyond ticked off.
"Mom, Dad, what are you doing?" I shouted to be heard over the wind and across the Circle's clearing. I had to put a stop to this before somebody got hurt.
"Tristan!" Mom screamed, darting out from behind Dad's throne. She took two steps toward me then stopped, her joyous smile flashing into shock, then fear, and finally settling into horror as she stared at Savannah. "No, it can't be true. Tristan, how could you? I told them you would never-"
"Son, do you know what she is? What her father is?" Dad's voice boomed throughout the clearing. "They're-"
"I know," I said. "But obviously I'm fine. There's no need to do this. Let her grandmother go."
Savannah looked up at her trapped grandmother again. Mrs. Evans's papery face twisted horribly, as if she were silently screaming in pain. Eyes shining with unshed tears, Savannah reached for her grandmother's feet, but even her toes were out of Savannah's reach.
This was insane. What did the Clann think it was doing, dragging an old lady out of her own home and off to the woods in her nightgown? Mrs. Evans would have every right to hex us all the minute they freed her.
"Let her down," I yelled, losing control over my temper.
The wind died, but the smell of ozone sharpened the air with the promise of more rain.
In the resulting silence, Dad said, "It's not that simple."
What?
Rocking back on my heels, I searched his face for some clue as to what he could possibly be thinking. I could tell from his overly formal tone that he was still in Clann leader mode, probably too aware of the audience of descendants surrounding us. But he wasn't thinking right. This wasn't about Clann and vamp politics. No matter what, no matter how powerful the Clann was, we didn't do this.
"It is simple," I said. "This woman had nothing to do with my disappearance."
"We know where you were," Dad said. "We know the vampires-that...girl's father-kidnapped you. Now tell us the truth, son. Are you okay? Did they hurt you? What questions did they ask you? Are they trying to figure out our weaknesses?"
Savannah took a step forward. "They're not trying to start another war, Mr. Coleman. They just brought him in to test me, to see if I'm a danger to anyone. And my dad wasn't the one who took him. No one in my family had anything to do with Tristan's involvement."
"They didn't kidnap me. I went voluntarily to help Savannah," I said, desperate enough to lie at this point.
"Tristan, don't," Savannah hissed.
I didn't look at her, my gaze locked on the only person here who had the power to decide. My father.
Dad's face darkened. "So Dylan was right. You are dating her."
I didn't hesitate to answer him. "Yes. I love her."
The descendants gasped. Savannah froze. I fought the urge to smile as a weight I hadn't been aware of fell away from my shoulders. This was it, the moment I'd been waiting for, when the Clann would finally be forced to give us our freedom.
Beside our father, Emily slowly shook her head, one corner of her mouth deepening in that look that always said, Oh, little brother, you've gone and done it now.
Widening my stance, I crossed my arms and met her stare head-on. Emily might be older than me and think she knew it all, but she had no clue what it felt like to be in love, to need someone like I needed Savannah. In her own way, my sister was even more of a player than I used to be, ready to drop a boy from her dating schedule for the slightest reason. She'd never dated anyone longer than a couple of months, never broken any rules, Clann or otherwise, just to be with someone. And she'd certainly never be willing to leave the Clann if that was what it took to be with the person she loved.
But I was. And it was time the Clann knew it.
"It's time to let go of the past," I said, raising my voice so everyone could hear and not just my parents. "We've been at peace with the vamps for decades now. How long does that peace have to last before we can get over our old prejudices and fears? I love Savannah, and she loves me. And I'll do whatever it takes to make you see we're meant to be together. Including leaving the Clann if necessary."
"Tristan!" Mom gasped as Dad jerked forward in his seat, his bear-paw-size hands gripping the carved armrests.
Lightning flashed in the distance. A few seconds later, thunder rumbled out a warning of the storm's approach.
"He believes he loves me," Savannah said. "But the truth is...this is all my fault."
What the...?
I turned to her, sure I'd heard her wrong.
"Continue," Dad commanded.
She swallowed hard, refusing to look at me. "I'm half vampire. All this time, your son believed he was in love with me because my vampire side basically...well, put a spell on him. I gaze dazed him with my eyes. He couldn't help himself."
She'd lost her mind. The stress of facing down first the vamp council and now the Clann must have made her go nuts. She knew the gaze daze didn't work on me!
"I knew it," one of the Brat Twins crowed. I couldn't tell if it was Vanessa or Hope. "I knew she had freaky eyes." Their mother shushed her into silence.
"Savannah, stop it," I growled, clenching my hands at my sides so I wouldn't give in to the urge to shake some sense back into her. "You know the gaze daze doesn't affect me."
"Apparently it does." She kept her voice loud so everyone could hear what should have been a private argument between us. "Why else would you suddenly decide to break the Clann's rule this year and date me, if not for being gaze dazed?"
Half vamp or not, she had the worst poker face I had ever seen. She knew she was outright lying to everyone. But why? It didn't make sense to throw herself off a cliff now, when the truth was finally out. We were almost home free. All we had to do was stick together and refuse to back down, and the Clann would be forced to see reason.
"You know why," I murmured, taking a step closer to her. But she quickly stepped back, maintaining the distance between us. "Sav, don't do this. Just tell them the truth."
She shook her head, her eyes melting back to a dark slate-gray in sadness. "You're gaze dazed. You'd say anything right now in order to be with me."
"See?" Mom hissed to no one in particular as she glared at Savannah. "I told you Tristan would never willingly break the rules. She was making him do it."
Savannah nodded. "Yes, I was. And I'm very sorry. I didn't understand what my vamp side could do. But now that I know what I am and what I'm capable of, I can promise you..." Her throat worked as she gulped.
"Sav, don't," I said through gritted teeth.
She straightened her back and lifted her chin. "I promise you I will no longer be involved with your son in any way. As long as you agree not to punish Nanna or Tristan. Nanna didn't even know about us, and Tristan-"
"No," I shouted, her words clawing at my insides. "I knew what I was doing. Don't listen to her. She's lying to try and-"
"How do we know you'll keep this promise?" Dad asked, ignoring me.
"Because..." Savannah's voice wobbled. She cleared her throat and tried again. "Because I already made the vampire council the same promise. And they'll be checking on me to make sure I keep it. Just like I'm sure you will be."
She was lying. She had to be.
I searched her face. But this time, she was telling the truth. It was all right there for me to see in the trembling of her chin, the tears gathering in her eyes, the sudden slouch of her shoulders.
She'd promised a bunch of strangers that she would break up with me. Hours ago. Long before we ever got on that plane together in Paris. Before she sat curled up against me, letting me hold her, watching me smile and even fall asleep, letting me believe everything was finally working out for us.
All that time, she had been planning this-to break up with me. To dump me. And I hadn't guessed a thing.
The wind returned, whipping Savannah's long red curls into a frenzy that hid her face from me. The gusts tried to rock me off balance, but I couldn't feel them.
"We agree to your request," Dad said.
With a nod of his head, Sav's grandmother began to lower to the ground.
Savannah turned to watch her ease ever closer. I should be reaching out to help her catch Mrs. Evans, but I couldn't move. I was frozen, a statue ready to be pushed over and smashed into pieces.
This wasn't happening. Sav and I were meant to be together forever. She knew that. She loved me. I knew she loved me. She was just taking the easy way out, caving under the pressure because she couldn't see how close we were to freedom.
I had to stop this somehow, find the words to undo what she'd done.
I forced one foot forward, then the other, finally closing the distance between us. "Savannah, don't do this. You know we're meant for each other." I reached out and touched her upper arm, silently begging her to face me. "Don't give up on us."
She still wouldn't look at me.
"Savannah," Mrs. Evans gasped as the last of the elders' magical hold on her fell away. She collapsed forward, and both Savannah and I managed to catch her dead weight.
Then two pairs of hands grabbed my arms, dragging me backward and forcing Savannah to take her grandmother's entire weight on her own. They went down to the ground together.
As soon as my captors set me back on my feet, I turned to snarl at them.
Dylan Williams and another descendant two years younger than us. I should have known.
"I warned you, man," Dylan murmured, sneering from underneath his too-long blond hair.
Cursing, I tried to break free, but the elders must have been lending their power because I couldn't shake my new jailers' grip. Their hands were like metal cuffs.
The wind tore through the clearing again, carrying with it a chorus of shrieks from the descendants. Savannah's father had darted out from the surrounding pine trees to kneel on the soggy ground with his daughter and former mother-in-law.
Hands rose all around us in silent threat. I tried to think of a spell to block them, but Savannah was faster.
She threw out her arms. "No! Wait, he's my dad, he's just here to help."
She and her father crouched together on either side of Mrs. Evans, their matching silver eyes warily scanning the tense line of descendants.
"Let him be," Dad said, and everyone slowly lowered their hands.
Savannah looked down at her grandmother. "Nanna, are you okay?"
Mrs. Evans reached up with a gnarled, shaky hand, which Savannah took. And that's when the clouds finally let it rip, dumping sheets of rain on the Circle and everyone within it.
SAVANNAH
Nanna's pulse skipped all over the place beneath the crepelike skin at her wrist. She'd always been the strongest member of my family despite her age. When had Nanna become so fragile?
I leaned over her, trying to use my upper body to shield her as the clouds rained down their own stinging punishment on our heads. Despite my best efforts, within seconds we were both soaked.
Dad laid his cheek against her chest for a few seconds, then straightened up and leaned toward me.
"Her heart is damaged," he murmured near my ear. The wind did its best to tear his words away before I could catch them.
"I fought too hard," Nanna whispered, and even with my vampire hearing, I had to lean close to her mouth to hear her. "I was a foolish old woman. I shouldn't have tried to fight them."
"It's going to be okay now. Dad and I will take you home." I wiped the water from her cheeks.
But Nanna shook her head. "Too...tired." Her grip loosened on my hand.
"Someone help her," I shouted at the shocked faces around us. Were they so cold and uncaring that they would let an innocent old woman die right in front of them? She used to be one of their own!
But as the wind grew stronger and tried to steal their umbrellas, the descendants stumbled back beneath the shelter of the trees.
They weren't going to help.
Then a single man stepped forward into the sheets of rain. As he strode over to us, I recognized him as Dr. Faulkner, the Brat Twins' father and a surgeon at the local hospital.
"I'm a doctor. I can help." Dad moved out of his way, and Dr. Faulkner knelt at Nanna's shoulder, ignoring the wet moss that quickly soaked and stained his slacks. He pressed two fingers at the side of her neck while checking his watch.
The pulse in her wrist stopped beneath my fingertips.
"Nanna?" I shouted over rumbling thunder as I repeatedly patted the back of her hand. "Nanna!"
Time slowed and the roaring wind blocked out all other sound, making the moment surreal, like a movie I was watching instead of living. I saw Dr. Faulkner use his hands like electric paddles to zap Nanna's chest, making her lifeless body jerk. Tristan's dad ran over to us as if in slow motion, abandoning his throne to kneel on the soaked sponge that the moss had become, joining Dr. Faulkner's attempts. Their combined energy made Nanna's upper body lift several inches off the ground with each electrical jolt, then land with a small splash in the growing puddles beneath us. I tried to think of something I could do to help, but Clann rules had forbidden my family to teach me anything about magic. I wasn't yet a full vampire, either, so I couldn't turn Nanna into an immortal. Despite all the fears of both the vamp council and the Clann regarding what I might be able to do someday, the reality was I was powerless to save even my own grandma. All I could do was cause destruction and the threat of another war between the species.
And make dumb decisions that resulted in my grandma fighting for her life in the woods during a storm.
Mr. Coleman and Dr. Faulkner fell into a rhythm as a two-man team, taking turns zapping her chest, checking her pulse and blowing air into her mouth. I lost all sense of time as they worked for minutes that could have been hours, the rain soaking through their clothes and hair and eventually pouring in tiny streams down their arms.
Nanna never woke up.
Eventually, the men's hands withdrew from Nanna's too-still body. Dr. Faulkner was saying something to me. But I couldn't hear him.
"What?" The dreamlike feeling of shock drained away, leaving me soaked and chilled to the bone. Only then did I realize the wind had died down again and it was only my blood rushing in my head that was causing the roaring sound in my ears. "Is she all right?"
I reached past Mr. Coleman to pat Nanna's cool cheek, willing her to wake up. "Nanna? Can you hear me? Come on, Nanna, you've got to wake up. I've got to get you home now and into some dry clothes. Wake up, Nanna. Come on, wake up!"
Her eyes remained closed.
I circled around Mr. Coleman, kneeling so I could lift her head and shoulders and cradle them in my lap. She was still asleep, but she would wake up soon. I just needed to elevate her head, help her breathe easier. All she needed was a little time to come around.
I looked up at the sky, ignoring the flock of crows beneath their umbrellas still lingering at the edges of the clearing. At least the storm seemed to be passing. The thunder and lightning had eased, and the rain was coming down in actual raindrops again instead of a waterfall. That was good. Dad could carry Nanna back to the car now. We'd get her home and into a hot shower to warm her up, then into some dry clothes. She'd tell me how to fix her a cup of hot tea the way she liked it using some of her homegrown mint leaves....
A heavy paw of a hand rested on my shoulder.
I looked up at Mr. Coleman, but he was too blurry to see clearly no matter how much I blinked. All I could make out was his bushy white beard.
"I'm so sorry, Savannah. We tried everything. But...she's gone."
"No." She wasn't. She was just asleep. Raindrops splattered over Nanna's cheeks again, gathering in the deep laugh lines at either side of her mouth, and I wiped them dry.
"Savannah, it is too late," Dad said, standing at my other side. "There is nothing else we can do."
"No." I shook my head, staring at Mr. Coleman, willing him to help me. "Use your powers-"
"We did," Mr. Coleman said.
"Then try something different!" I turned to Dr. Faulkner. Why was I the only one here still fighting for Nanna's life? He fixed people for a living and he was a descendant. He had to be able to heal her. "You're a surgeon. Can't you go in and magically repair her heart?"
He shook his head. "I tried that. But I wasn't fast enough. There was years' worth of damage to the tissue. She must have had heart troubles for a long time now. Didn't she say anything to you?"
I stared down at Nanna's face, at her chest that refused to rise or fall. She had kept so many secrets. She hadn't even told me about my family's past until I was fifteen.
But why keep this secret? If she'd only told us, we could have done something to help her get better, made her lay off the fatty fried foods or helped her work out or something. Didn't they have surgeries and transplants for this kind of thing?
I tried again, asking both Mr. Coleman and Dr. Faulkner at the same time. "But you can still fix it. You can do a spell or-"
Mr. Faulkner shook his head again. "We can only do so much. We can't bring the dead back to life. At least, not with a soul-"
"Then bring her back without one!" I said, my hands aching to slap him. He was just refusing to help because we were outcasts, because I was a half-breed. "She's my grandma! You killed her. Do whatever you have to do, but bring her back!"
"No." Mr. Coleman's tone was final. "We don't do that. It's against Clann law to create zombies. And that's all she would be, a zombie, no personality, no true life within her. Just an animated corpse. Is that what you want, what your grandmother would want?"
I almost said yes, but the words choked in my throat. Nanna would be horrified and furious if she could hear us now. She couldn't stand to watch zombie movies and refused to read books about them. Even if I could convince the Clann to bring her body back to life, it was useless if it wouldn't really be her again.
"Please, there has to be something...." I whispered, staring down at the tiny wrinkles in Nanna's thin eyelids. I stroked her soft cheeks, then stopped as I realized she was already turning cold and losing her color.
No. This couldn't be happening. She couldn't be gone.
"I'm sorry. But there's nothing more we can do," Mr. Coleman murmured. "I swear, if we could bring her back for you, or undo what's been done here today, I would make that happen. But even descendants have limits."
So that was it then. Like me, even with all their supposed power, the Clann could only take Nanna's life, not bring it back. Nanna was really gone. I'd gotten here too late to save her after all.
And now I had to say goodbye.
"Nanna," I whispered, the ocean of ache in my chest spreading over my body to make my limbs so heavy I could hardly move. The ache bubbled upward, rising to fill my throat and burn my eyes and the inside of my nose, until I felt sure it would push right through my skull. If I had been standing, it would have knocked me over like a tidal wave. But I was already on my knees, and all it could do was bend me in half over my grandmother's body and leave me gasping for air.
I wrapped my arms around Nanna, lifting her to me in a one-sided hug, remembering all the times she used to hold me in her lap and rock the both of us in her rocking chair when I was little. And how she used to kneel just like this on her knees day after day, despite her joints getting creaky and popping with age, so she could talk to the herbs and fruit plants she so carefully tended in our backyard. It was the last time I would ever hold my grandma, the woman who had helped raise me, who at times had been there for me even more than my own mother.
She was gone. Because of me.
"I'm so sorry, Nanna." I couldn't say it enough. A lifetime of apologies wouldn't make up for what I'd done.
"Savannah," Mr. Coleman said. "Please accept my deepest apologies for your loss, and also pass on my condolences to Jo-to your mother. None of us intended for this to happen. I just wanted my son back safely, and we thought your grandma knew where... I never dreamed..."
Words apparently failed the big bear of a man. I looked up and discovered tears in his eyes, which were lined copies of Tristan's, giving me a glimpse of the man Tristan would someday become. A future I would no longer be a part of.
Hands covered my own, easing my fingers loose. Confused, I looked down to see Dr. Faulkner trying to release my hold on Nanna.
On Nanna's body. Because she wasn't here anymore.
I let him take her weight and lower her body to the ground. I couldn't move, couldn't feel my legs or arms anymore, couldn't even feel the clothes that were plastered to me along with strings of my hair along my face and neck.
What should I do now? What did normal people do when their loved ones died in their arms in the woods? There must be a procedure, certain steps of some kind that should be taken by someone. But my mind didn't seem to want to work to figure it out. Wiggling my hands, I discovered my fingers had somehow become buried in the earth. When I lifted them, clods of moss and mud clung to me. The same mud that would be all over Nanna's back now.
Nanna wouldn't want this. She wouldn't want me to sit in the mud sobbing over her body, especially not in front of the descendants who had cast her out and turned their backs on her. She would have demanded that I get up, put on a strong front, hide my pain. Show them just how strong the Evans women could be. Focus on what needed to be done, and break down later in private.
For her sake, I took a deep breath and tried to wipe my hands clean on my pants, only to discover my shirt and slacks were covered in streaks of mud. I would have to wait until I was home to clean my hands of the mess.
Home. Where Mom would be waiting soon for an explanation. Oh God. She didn't know yet....
"We'll help you with the arrangements," Mr. Coleman murmured, and Dr. Faulkner dipped his head in agreement.
What would Nanna have expected of me now?
"I think...she would have wanted to die at home in her sleep," I said to Dr. Faulkner. "She wouldn't want everyone to know..." Unable to say the rest of it, I gestured at the mess of it all, the slop of the mud and rain and grass stains all over Nanna's once-pristine nightgown, which she'd always been so careful to bleach a blinding white.
"I'll make that the official report," Dr. Faulkner replied as he, Dad and Mr. Coleman stood up, too.
I looked around the clearing, for the first time seeing again the horrified audience watching my every move. They stared at me, many of them whispering amongst themselves, as if this were a play they were watching but weren't really a part of. Didn't they feel any guilt for Nanna's death? Or was I the only true murderer here today?
Mr. Coleman turned in a slow circle, drawing everyone's attention and silence. "Today's events will never be spoken of. Is that clear?"
Slowly the descendants nodded, though my vamp abilities allowed me to pick up the general reluctance rolling off many of them as the crowd broke up and walked away in small groups through the woods.
"Savannah..." Sounding as if he were choking on my name, Tristan tried to cross the distance between us, but Dylan and another boy held him back. Cursing, Tristan fought against their hold.
Needles stabbed at my skin, a sign of his growing power level. Tristan was getting ready to use magic against them.
"Tristan, stop," I called out. I looked at his father. "Can I...?"
Mr. Coleman's gaze flicked down at Nanna's body, then he nodded.
More pain bloomed inside my chest, trying its best to rob me of air. Part of me screamed that I'd already lost enough, that I needed to hold on to what happiness I could. That I wouldn't survive losing anything else in my life right now.
But I had to. I'd made two promises now. And it was for his own safety.
I forced my numb feet to carry me over to Tristan. Moss squished beneath my shoes with every step I took, the sound loud enough to be heard now that the storm was nearly gone. It took far too few steps to bring me to the end of the only true love I'd known.
I tried again to memorize Tristan's face...to see every line across his forehead, the full curves of his lips, now flattened and thinned by anger and guilt and panic, the raindrops dripping from those curls, darkened like antique gold, around his face and clinging to the back of his neck. At the edges of my vision, all around us were reminders of the moments we'd experienced in our shared dreams of this place...so many kisses while lying together on a picnic blanket as we'd talked for hours. The pine trees with their heavy boughs swaying in the storm's retreat, the way they had swayed around us as Tristan and I had danced together barefoot on the mossy ground. Those same trees had been lit with thousands of tiny Christmas lights for my birthday last November as I'd kissed imaginary red velvet cake from Tristan's lips.
And now here we were. We'd finally come to the real clearing in the real woods to create another memory. A memory I would never be able to erase, no matter how much I would want to.
He stood as if frozen as I closed the final inches between us. "Sav, I'm so sorry. I never meant for this-"
"I know," I murmured. "I'm sorry, too. But the council and the Clann are right to want us to stay away from each other. It's better that way. Safer."
"No, Sav-"
I pressed cold fingertips to his warm lips, the water sliding down his face and around my fingers like tiny streams flowing around rocks. I closed my eyes. I didn't want to see his face when I said the next words. If I did, I might not be able to say what had to be said.
Standing on tiptoe, I kissed his cheek, tasting the raindrops on his skin, lingering so I could inhale his faint cologne mixed with the ozone scent of the rain and feel his warmth against my skin one last time. Then I stepped back, my eyes still closed, holding on to it all as tightly as I could even as I made myself let him go.
"We have to end this. Please don't try to see me anymore. This is the right thing to do. Someday you'll understand."
Before he could say anything to change my mind, I turned and walked out of our woods for the last time. Somehow I kept myself from looking back.
But I already knew I would be spending the rest of my life looking back on today, on the last few months, on every choice I had made, and wondering. What if I had been stronger? If I had only managed to resist the way I felt about him... If I had only followed the rules...
Nanna would still be alive.
