“H-he snapped,” she said falteringly. “To this day I can’t remember what made him lose his temper. He came home in a mood. I knew it and I tried my best to fade into the background. Become invisible. I knew he wouldn’t want me in the way. I remember going into the kitchen. I was nervous and scared and I kept thinking, this is wrong. This is so wrong. Why am I with a man who terrifies me? Why am I tiptoeing around? I dropped a glass and I panicked. Had he heard it? I got the broom and a dustpan but when I turned around to clean it up, he was there.”
She was shaking against Liam. Cold. She no longer felt warm and safe. She was back in that cold, sterile environment that had suddenly erupted in violence.
“He dragged me into the bedroom, shoved me face down on the bed. I remember his hand in my hair and his knee in my back and the sound of his zipper.”
“Oh God, baby,” Liam said as he hugged her tighter to him.
“I always wore dresses or skirts. He liked thin, feminine material. He liked easy access. He shoved up my dress, yanked my underwear down, and then he was on top of me. I-inside me. Oh God, I hated it, Liam. I hated him.”
Liam rocked her back and forth, his body so rigid that there was absolutely no give in him.
“That son of a bitch.”
Lauren yanked away from Liam and scrambled up as she heard Noah’s explosive outburst from the doorway of the bedroom.
“Goddamn it, Noah!” Liam bit out. “You scared her to death. What the fuck, man?”
“Is it all right if I turn on the bathroom light, Lauren?” Noah asked, his voice still tight.
“Y-yes,” she stammered out.
A moment later, light poured into the bedroom, illuminating the bed where Liam lay and she sat, her knees hunched to her chest and her back against the wall.
She glanced warily at Noah, who stood at the end of the bed. Her bedroom was getting crowded with three people. It was hard to breathe. Her chest felt tight and constricted.
Liam pushed himself upward into a sitting position, and it was then she saw the tattoos that swirled over his shoulders and to his chest. She’d been right. He had more than just the ones on his arms.
“Lauren?” Noah asked softly.
She glanced back up at him.
He sat on the very end of the bed, and she wondered if the bed would bear up under the weight of all three of them.
“Come here, sweetheart.”
She flew into his arms and wrapped hers around his neck. He held her tightly for what seemed like forever. Just holding her. He buried his face in her hair and smoothed his hand up and down her back much like Liam had done.
“I’m sorry if I startled you,” he said against her hair. “I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop. I got up to come to the bathroom and I heard you and Liam talking. I heard what that bastard did to you. I couldn’t just walk away and pretend I hadn’t heard.”
“I didn’t fight him,” Lauren said in a small voice. “I was in shock. He wasn’t that rough. He was punishing me. But I wasn’t ready. I mean how could I have been? It hurt. A lot. But more than the physical pain was how violated I felt.”
“Did you want him to do that to you?” Liam asked.
“No!” she said, shocked by the question.
“Did you say no?” Liam prodded further.
“Yes,” she whispered. “I said no. I sobbed it. I begged him to stop.”
“Then goddamn it, he raped you. He forced himself on you,” Noah said fiercely. “If you said no. If you even thought no. If you had no power to make him stop, then how could it be anything else? You sure as hell didn’t give him your consent.”
“No one else would see it that way,” she said, tears welling in her eyes.
“I don’t give a fuck how anyone else sees it,” Noah bit out. “He took the choice from you, Lauren. He had absolute power over you. He held you down and forced you to have sex with him. How can that be anything but rape? And worse, he made you believe you deserved it.”
“I don’t like it that way,” she said, her voice cracking.
“What way, baby?” Liam asked gently.
“It was the way he always had sex with me. He held me facedown and he took me from behind. I hate it. I feel so helpless.”
Noah found her lips and kissed her. It wasn’t an overwhelming kiss meant to dazzle her senses or overcome her with passion. It was a tender, sweet kiss that she felt all the way to her soul.
He framed her face in his hands and pulled away so she was forced to look into his eyes.
“When the time comes that you’re ready to make love to us, we will do nothing that frightens you or makes you uncomfortable. We’re not to that point yet. Yes, we want to hold you. Touch you. Kiss you as many times as we can get away with it. But making love is a big step and it’s not one we need to take before you have absolute trust in the fact that we’re not going to hurt you. But you know what? It’ll come. Maybe not next week or next month. But we’ll get there and I’m willing to wait for as long as it takes you to heal from what that bastard did to your confidence and your heart and your mind.”
“I could so easily fall in love with you both,” she whispered, mimicking Liam’s earlier words.
“That makes us very happy to hear, sweetheart,” Noah murmured. “Now why don’t you try to get some rest. Today’s been one hell of a day for you. I’m sure you’re exhausted mentally and physically.”
She glanced up at him, touched his cheek. “Does it bother you . . . I mean, are you okay with . . .”
“Just spit it out, honey. You don’t have to pull your punches with me,” Noah said gently.
“Will it make you angry that I’m sleeping next to Liam? That I asked him to hold me?” she asked hesitantly.
Noah smiled. “Not at all. Because you know what? Tomorrow night it’ll be me in here, holding you and sleeping next to you.”
Chapter 10
LAUREN had always been a little overwhelmed by the Colter family. Not in a bad way. They’d been nothing but loving and accepting of her from the very start.
But they were just so . . .
Everything. They were everything she’d imagine in the perfect American family. What most people dreamed of. Closeness. Tight-knit. Fiercely loyal.
Except that they hardly fit the picture of the typical American family.
When Max had first begun to tell her of Callie’s family, Lauren had thought he was playing a joke on her. How ironic that now Lauren found herself in a similar situation, and moreover, it was one she wanted to be in.
The Colters had opened her eyes to a whole new world. One that was filled with love and acceptance. It was a world she much preferred over her old one.
As she and Liam and Noah got out of the rental they’d driven from Denver to Clyde, Lauren grew nervous. Would it be evident to everyone that Liam and Noah were more than just bodyguards hired by her brother?
Liam whistled. “Nice place they have here. It looks like a postcard.”
And indeed it did.
The log cabin was nestled against the mountain, surrounded by aspens and pine and afforded a beautiful view in every direction.
She pointed to the meadow in the distance where a stream cut through the land. Spring had come, bringing with it bountiful flowers and lush greenery. It was a place that calmed the senses and signaled peace. She took a deep breath, sucking in the pine scented cool air.
“That’s where Max and Callie live. Across the meadow in the house Max built for Callie. It’s not a long walk and there’s a worn trail that leads to their property. Callie’s property,” she amended.
The land had been a bone of contention between Max and Callie. It had once belonged to Lauren’s stepfather, the man who’d raised her and Max, and after he passed, her mother had sold it to the Colters. Max had believed the elder Colter brothers had taken advantage of her mom and had fully intended to do whatever necessary to get the land back. Even if it meant deceiving Callie in the process.
She shook her head. Her brother had very nearly screwed up the best thing that had ever happened to him. He was at peace now. Maybe it was what the land and the Colters had done for him. Maybe it was what would do the same for her.
The front door opened, and Ethan Colter stepped out, a smile broadening his features.
“Hello, Lauren! Come on in.”
Lauren relaxed, smiling back at the older man. She hurried toward the door, eager to be back in the bosom of the Colter family. She always looked forward to her visits here, no matter how frequently she came.
Liam and Noah followed closely behind, and when she got to the porch, Ethan enfolded her in a huge hug.
In the beginning she’d been hesitant around the loving, demonstrative family, even though it was in her nature to be just as affectionate. But Joel had taught her reserve and it was a hard lesson to forget.
“It’s good to see you, honey,” Ethan said.
She squeezed back. “And you.”
She turned to Noah and Liam standing a few steps back. “Ethan, this is Noah Sullivan and Liam Prescott. Noah and Liam, this is Ethan Colter.”
Ethan immediately extended his hand to Noah and then to Liam.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, sir,” Noah said.
“Come on in, all of you. Holly is dying to get her hands on you. I’ll warn you now. Just take whatever comes. My wife is used to getting her own way. She’ll likely interrogate you and then smother you with hugs.”
He smiled indulgently, his love for his wife softening his eyes and expression.
Lauren pushed by Ethan, eager to be inside. As soon as she stepped into the living room, it was like coming home. Memories of the previous Christmas when she’d been so unsure of her place in the world, and in this family came to mind.
Warmth, love and peace washed over her, cradling her in their soothing embrace.
“Lauren!”
Holly Colter surged up from her place on the couch between Adam and Ryan Colter, and she rushed over, pulling Lauren into a fierce hug that was even bigger than the one Ethan had given her.
Behind her, Adam and Ryan rose, their gazes drawn to Noah and Liam. There was wary reserve and sharp appraisal in their stares. Lauren smiled as the force that was Holly Colter surrounded her, making her feel love and concern that had extended to one who wasn’t Holly’s own. Not that Holly would ever draw that distinction. She’d made it clear from the day she’d come to see Lauren, when Lauren had still been in seclusion at Max and Callie’s home, that she considered Lauren one of her children.
“It’s so good to see you, baby,” Holly whispered. “How are you? Are you okay?”
Lauren pulled away. “I’m fine. Truly. You don’t need to worry about me. Noah and Liam have promised to take care of me.”
Holly frowned a little as she looked past Lauren to the two men behind her. Then she pushed past Lauren, and Lauren turned to see what was in store for Noah and Liam.
“I’m Holly Colter,” she said. “Max told me about you, but I wanted to set eyes on you myself and make sure that you were the kind of men I can trust to take care of my baby.”
Liam’s lips twitched into a smile while Noah looked a little more wary.
“I’m very pleased to meet you, ma’am,” Liam said solemnly. “And I promise to take very good care of Lauren. Noah and I are going to make sure that no one ever hurts Lauren again.”
There was a flicker of response in the Colter brothers’ eyes. Adam’s eyebrows went up a notch while Ryan’s eyes narrowed.
Holly stared at them for a long time, and then she smiled broadly. Then she pulled the much larger Liam into a huge hug and patted him on the back.
“I think I like you, Liam.”
Then she turned to Noah as if she hadn’t yet made up her mind about him.
“And what have you got to say, young man?”
At that Ethan chuckled while Adam and Ryan smothered their smiles of amusement. Noah looked befuddled as the much smaller woman took him to task.
He looked like he’d rather take on a group of terrorists than answer to her.
“I care very much about Lauren’s safety,” Noah finally said. “And as Liam said, we’re here to protect her. You can trust us with her safety. Someone will have to go through us to get close to her.”
Holly gave him the same frank appraisal she’d given Liam and then she smiled.
“You’ll do.”
Then she hugged him just as enthusiastically as she had Liam and then promptly ordered him and Liam to have a seat.
Once satisfied that Noah and Liam were taken care of, she turned back to Lauren.
“Lily and the boys are on their way over now, and I expect Max and Callie at any moment. I prepared lunch today,” she said proudly.
Adam gave her an indulgent smile.
Ryan took his seat on the couch across from where Liam and Noah had taken their seats. And sent them both a look of amusement.
“After more than thirty years, our wife has taken it upon herself to learn how to cook. She made Christmas dinner for us all without burning the kitchen down, so we’ve agreed to turn her loose on occasion. What’s she’s prepared is anyone’s guess, so I hope you brought the antacid.”
