The vamp stared down at her glass of blood laced with chocolate. She swirled the glass and seemed to watch the two ingredients blend together. "I skipped out on Steve the first night and went to see Lee."
That didn't surprised Kylie, she knew Della was still hung up on Lee, but it didn't explain how she ended up getting hickeys from Steve. Unless it wasn't Steve who gave her the hickey, but Kylie didn't think she'd lie about that. And something told Kylie this wasn't all about Lee. It was about a shape-shifter with a cute butt.
"And?" Kylie asked, dipping her spoon back into her own chocolate.
"And he went out on a date with his new fiancee." She brought the glass to her lips and sipped. "Hey, this shit is really good."
"Yeah." Kylie waited for Della to continue. She didn't have to wait too long.
"He took her to a Chinese restaurant. I followed them." Tears filled Della's eyes.
Feeling her friend's pain, Kylie set her hand on Della's. Della pulled it away.
"Then they spotted me and I realized I looked like an idiot. I was all kinds of embarrassed." She took another sip of her chocolate blood and looked up. "Then like some damn knight in shining armor Steve showed up. He'd followed me. He saved my ass from looking like a total fool. Pretended we were on a date. He kissed me in front of them. Like we were this hot couple."
Kylie took another spoonful of chocolate into her mouth. "And the kiss was pretty good so you guys made out later?"
"No. I mean yes."
Kylie pointed her spoon at Della. "Which is it?"
"Yes it was good, but it didn't happen until the next day." Della leaned in and frowned.
"The mission went bad. I was stabbed," Della confessed.
Kylie's mouth dropped open. "But Burnett said-"
"I made Steve promise not to tell him. It wasn't life threatening." She moaned. "The bad thing is that Steve saved my ass. Not just at the restaurant in front of Lee, but again with the rogues and then when we ran into some nasty weres. I was in pretty bad shape, couldn't fight. I hated it." She paused. "He checked us into a hotel and was taking care of me. I don't know how it happened, one minute he was doctoring me and the next we were playing doctor."
"Oh my!" Kylie said. "So you actually-"
"No, we didn't. Came close. Thankfully blue balls don't really kill a guy."
"Blue balls?" Kylie asked.
Della rolled her eyes. "You don't know what blue balls are?"
"No. Should I?"
Della grinned. "At least you should know if a guy ever tells you he can die from it, he's lying. Andbelieve me, some guys will actually say that to guilt a girl into doing the bumping dance. I had one try it on me once, before Lee. I told him I'd go to his funeral, and never dated him again."
"But what is it, really?" Kylie made a face. "Or is it too gross? It must be gross because they never mentioned it in any of the pamphlets my mom gave me."
Della chuckled again. "It's when a guy gets really turned on and is ready to do the deed and then the deed gets canceled."
Kylie leaned in. "Do their balls really turn blue?"
Della burst out laughing. "I don't know, I've never gotten down there and checked."
Kylie blushed, but then she didn't really care in front of Della, so she just laughed. "So you think Steve had blue balls?"
Della rolled her eyes. "He looked pretty uncomfortable. I shouldn't have let it get that far. I was just ...
mixed up in the head."
"Or maybe you really like Steve." Kylie pointed her spoon at Della. "I'm not saying you should have had sex, but the guy's crazy about you and you obviously like him, too. So why are you treating him like a disease now?"
Della took a big swig of her chocolate blood. "Because ... when I realized what was happening, all I could think about was that in a year or so I'll be standing in another restaurant watching Steve with his fiancee. I can't do that again." Tears filled her eyes.
"But you don't know that will happen."
"I don't know it won't happen, either." Della reached for the bottle of syrup and added another squirt to her glass. "So now I've spilled my guts. How do things stand with Lucas?"
Kylie stirred her chocolate in her bowl. "It's over."
Della's eyes widened. "Why? Did Monique say they'd fooled around? We should get Miranda to give him a case of mange on his balls!"
"No, Monique sort of said they didn't."
Della picked up her glass. "Then why's it over?"
Kylie clanked her spoon against her bowl. Because if it isn't he'll lose everything.
Della studied her. "But it he didn't cheat-"
Anger stirred in Kylie's chest. "Even if he didn't do anything, it still feels like he did. I mean, he was getting engaged, behind my back." She shook her head. "First Trey. Then my stepdad cheats on my mom.
Then Derek and now Lucas. Why do guys do this?"
Della kind of shrugged. "At least Lucas didn't have sex."
It still feels like a betrayal. A big one. "What's downright infuriating is that I still love him." Love him so much that she couldn't stand by and watch him lose everything because of her. "But I'm still so mad at him I could..."
"Give him a set of blue balls?" Della chuckled.
"No, punch him!"
"Then maybe you should." Della looked down at her glass.
"Should what?" Kylie asked.
"Punch him. Then maybe you wouldn't be so mad and you could move on."
Kylie shook her head. "I wish it was that simple.""Maybe it is. You won't know until you try. Just go up to him all casual like and then go all crazy on his ass. Seriously, then maybe you could put it behind you and forget it."
"Like you're trying to do with Steve?" Kylie pointed the spoon at her again.
"Hey, I'm like a good parent. I don't want you to do as I do, but do as I say!" She chuckled.
Kylie shook her head.
"And besides, now it's..." She shut her mouth, unsure if she wanted to talk about this.
"It's what?" Della asked.
She might as well spill it. "It's not just about what he did." If it was, Kylie suspected she'd be halfway to forgivness. "He gave up everything when he refused to sign that engagement paper. He's not going to get on the Council, his own pack is pissed at him. Monique's dad is threatening to have him killed. Sooner or later he's going to hate me for this."
"I think you're overthinking it."
Kylie ran her spoon around the bowl for the last bit of chocolate. "And I think we gotta change the subject," she said.
Della relented and picked up her glass. They didn't speak for a few minutes, then finally she spoke up.
"Before I went to Lee's place that night, I went and played peeping tom at my house."
"How were things?" Kylie asked, sensing it didn't go well.
"Good. So good it made me mad. They were playing board games like this happy little family. Dad told jokes and they were all laughing. I don't think they even miss me." She stared at the table for a few minutes.
"They miss you, Della. They're just trying to get by."
Della nodded. "Have you ever considered just telling your mom and stepdad? I came so close to just walking in there and laying it out on the table. Look, Dad, I'm not being difficult or lazy. I'm not on drugs.
I'm just a vampire." She shook her head.
Kylie bit down on her lip, unsure what to say, so she didn't say anything.
"I guess I'm scared they'll think the truth is worse than what they already believe."
Kylie wished she could tell Della it wasn't so, but she wasn't sure. "I thought about telling my mom, too. I just don't know if she would handle it."
Della nodded. "So we just hide from the people we love. Sad, isn't it?"
"Yeah." Kylie ran her spoon around her bowl. "At least you don't hide from the supernatural world."
"You don't hide either," Della said.
"Yeah, I do. I'm basically hiding from the FRU. I mean everyone here has seen my pattern, so it's a little late to worry about that, but I know the majority of people here think any day now my brain tumor is going to become apparent."
Della offered her a sad look. "They are actually betting on it."
"Just great." Kylie paused. "When Monique came in the bathroom, I tried to change my pattern. I just wasn't fast enough. She even said something about me having a brain tumor. And I'm like, 'I'm sure that's what it is.'" Kylie dropped her spoon in her bowl and listened to it clatter. "Most of the supernatural world doesn't even know my kind exists." Even Hayden hides what he is, Kylie thought.
"Then maybe it's time you change that." Della sat back in her chair.
"Change what?" Kylie asked."Come out of the closet. You know, like ... 'I'm gay and here to stay.' You'd need a different slogan, but maybe, 'I'm a lizard and if you don't like it, I'll eat out your gizzard.'" Della chuckled. "Okay, it needs some work, but you get what I mean."
"I'm serious," Kylie said.
"I know, and so am I. Besides the silly slogan, I mean. You can't do it with the humans, but you should be able to do it with supernaturals."
Kylie ran her finger around the rim of the bowl to collect the last remnants of chocolate and considered what Della said.
She's right, the voice in her head said. The same voice from earlier. The one that popped up inside her head at the oddest times.
"Who the hell are you?" Kylie muttered.
Della scooted back in her chair. "Okay, I'm rethinking the brain tumor now."
"Not you."
"Oh, shit." Della's eyes grew big. "Do we have a ghost here?"
"No, not a ghost," Kylie muttered. "Just a voice."
Della tilted her head to the side. "I didn't hear anything."
"In here." Kylie pointed to her head.
"Have you ever heard of schizophrenia?" Della asked in a sarcastic voice-which meant she was teasing, but Kylie didn't think it was too funny.
"I'm not crazy," Kylie said.
Della grinned. "If you were, I'd still like you. If for no other reason than for teaching me how good blood and chocolate are together." She drained her cup.
Kylie stared at her empty bowl while her brain raced on how she could come out of the closet. She had made it her quest to save other chameleon teens from living a life of seclusion, but maybe before she could do that, she needed to make sure it was safe for them to come out. Maybe Della and that annoying voice were right. If she could force the supernatural world to accept her-for what she really was-then other chameleons might follow her out in the open.
Sort of like Rosa Parks on the bus in the fifties. Someone, some chameleon, needed to stand up so they could be counted as part of the supernatural world. They should be proud of who they were, and not have to hide their true selves.
Instantly, her chest swelled with emotion that was both warm and affirming. This was her quest. Her new quest or maybe just part of her old one. And it felt like the right thing.
Yup, all she had to do was figure out how to come out of the closet.
That night, head buried in her pillow, the tingly feeling of another presence stirred her awake. It wasn't a cold presence, which meant whoever was here wasn't dead. Opening her eyes, the sweet floral scent tickled her senses. She spotted the red rose on her bedside table.
Only one person left her roses.
Lucas? Her heart whispered his name and went straight to hurting. Last night, she'd lain in bed and accepted what had to be. Letting him go. As much as it hurt, she couldn't let him destroy his life becauseof her.
She inhaled and listened. Was he still here? Or had he come and gone? She noticed her white curtain fluttering as a soft night breeze floated inside. If he'd left, he'd have shut the window.
She closed her eyes again, wondering if she pretended not to wake up he would just leave.
"I know you're awake," his deep voice spoke into the still darkness.
"And I know you shouldn't be here." She swallowed and fought the swell of emotion climbing up her throat. She rolled over and pulled her pajama-covered knees to her chest. It took another couple of seconds to gather her courage for her to look for him-knowing that seeing him would hurt.
She was right. His hair looked windblown as if he'd gone for a run. His eyes looked hurt. Raw pain rained down on her. Her chest ached with loneliness.
"I couldn't sleep," he said. Silence filled the room. He moved closer. His knees touched the bed. He sat down. The mattress dipped with his weight. Her heart raced, remembering the times she had curled up with him here on this bed. She'd even slept beside him here and he'd held her, made her feel safe, protected. Loved.
"It can't be over, Kylie. You are the only thing that matters to me."
She shook her head. "Not true." Just like her, he had others in his life. He had things that were important to him. He had quests. "Your pack is important. It has been all along. Your grandmother. And you can say you don't like your dad, but you put up with him, so he has to matter to you. And then there's your sister." And you'll lose them all if you choose me.
"Fine, I care about them-everyone but my father. Right now I don't care if he rots in hell. I'm tired of him manipulating my life-but the others, yes, I'll admit it, I care. But they aren't you," he said, and growled.
"Monique's father is considering putting a hit out on you!" she blurted out.
"That rich pompous ass is always running off his mouth. He's nothing but hot air. He knows what my dad would do to him if he hurt me." Lucas stopped talking and just looked at her. "But this proves it. You care about me. If you didn't, you wouldn't care if he planned to kill me. You may still be angry, and I deserve that, but you love me and that's why it can't be over."
She shook her head. "Love isn't enough!" Tears clouded her vision. That was what she'd finally realized last night. "Can't you see, Lucas? We're Romeo and Juliet; we're the Hatfields and McCoys. We are every bad love story that ever existed. We are people who only hurt ourselves and others by selfishly letting our emotions guide us instead of logic."
"That's stupid," he growled, and tried to reach for her.
"No!" She scooted away from his touch. "Do you want to know what's stupid? I keep seeing you kissing Monique in my head. I keep hearing you vowing your soul to her, and I get so hurt and so angry that I want to scream. But at the same time, I completely understand why you did it. And if I were in your shoes, I might have done the same things. I have my own quests, the ghosts, figuring out how to help other chameleons, and I'm going to complete those quests no matter what."
She swallowed and offered the last piece of truth, the last piece of reasoning that they couldn't be together. "I'm going to do it even if it hurts you. That's how I know, Lucas. That's how I know that this isn't right. When doing the right thing for yourself can hurt someone you love this much, it can't be right!
We aren't right. So please, let's not hurt each other any more than we already have. Just leave."
She had never seen anyone look so hurt. It took everything she had not to call him back as he climbedout her window.
