Ms. Holtz sticks her head in the door. “Pizza’s here, Lil.”
“Okay,” I say, and beam her a big cheerful smile. “Thanks, Paige.” I feel a little weird calling Rennie’s mom Paige, but she always insists.
Instead of leaving she slouches against the doorway. “I’m so glad you came over tonight. It’s funny I was just saying to Ren this morning, ‘I haven’t seen my Lillia in forever!’” It’s been a week, which wouldn’t be strange, except Rennie and I practically live together, we hang out that much. There’s a pause, and I’m not sure if Ms. Holtz expects me to explain. But then she says with a funny laugh, “Don’t look so scared, honey! I’m not mad at you! I know how busy you girls get with school and cheering.”
I nod, like that’s the reason exactly.
“You know I love you. You’re my favorite of all Rennie’s friends, hon. I just want you girls to always stay close.”
I nod again. Ms. Holtz tells me all the time how I’m her favorite of Rennie’s friends. I mean, it’s a nice compliment, but today something about it makes me feel uncomfortable. Or maybe that’s my own guilty conscience.
Rennie comes in with two towels, one wrapped around her body and one around her head.
“Pizza’s here, Ren,” Ms. Holtz says.
“Cool. Thanks, Mom. Have a good night!” Rennie practically closes the door in her mom’s face.
She takes the towel off her head and flings it onto the bed. She has to unplug her air conditioner to have an open outlet for her hair dryer. I go open the window so her room won’t get too hot. She sits on the floor in front of the mirror hanging on the back of her bedroom door and starts blowing out her hair with a round brush.
“So, what are we doing tonight?” she asks.
I climb off her bed and crawl on my knees over to her. “Let’s go to the movies. We haven’t been to a movie in, like, forever.” That’s what Rennie and I would do whenever it rained. This summer there were a million sunny days. Tonight I want to go so I won’t have to talk to her or look at her.
“Ooh! Yeah. You want to make it a girls’ night? Me, you, and Ash?”
“No. Call the boys.” I have to say it, because that’s old Lillia. And that’s who I need to be.
“Just Reeve and PJ? Or should we call Alex, too? Is he done with his hissy fit about us bailing on his party?”
“I’m sure he’s over it by now.” I start to braid my hair. “Besides, who else is going to buy me candy?”
Rennie falls backward laughing, and in the process topples me over with her. She starts squeezing my knee, and I can’t help but crack up, because I’m so ticklish. Then Rennie rolls on her side and smiles at me. “Lil,” she says, before letting out a sigh. “I’m so glad . . .” I don’t know if she expects me to finish her sentence or what, but when I don’t, she lies back down and says, without looking at me, “You’re making the right decision. Letting it go.”
I dig my nails into the palm of my hand and feel the almost-dry polish curdle against my skin. “I know,” I say, my eyes closed tight.
* * *
I woke up to Rennie shaking my shoulder. “Get up, Lillia. Get up!”
It was dark. I was lying on a leather couch, my legs hanging off the side. My tank top and my shorts were gone. I was just wearing my one-piece bathing suit. “What’s happening?” I croaked. My mouth felt dry and cottony, and my head was spinning.
Rennie, her eyes as big as I’ve ever seen them, leaned in close to my face and whispered, “Shh!” Her breath reeked of tequila. She had her shoes in her hands. “We’re getting out of here.”
I sat up on the couch, and the room was spinning. I was still drunk. Someone was lying in the bed, asleep. My guy, Mike, wasn’t in the room. I didn’t know where he was.
Rennie was on her hands and knees, feeling around in the dark for my shirt. She found it over by the desk. I quickly slid it over my head, and found my shorts behind one of the couch cushions. Rennie opened the bedroom door a crack, keeping her eyes on the boy in the bed. She let me out first.
The house was totally wrecked. A couple of people were asleep in the rooms we passed, and on a pullout couch in the living room. I didn’t even breathe. I was running for the door, and Rennie was right behind me.
We didn’t stop running until we were down the driveway. I fell into the mailbox, heaving for breath. Rennie crouched down and put her heels on. I stood next to her, trying to remember what just happened. Where the night went. Everything was blurry in my head.
But then I remembered. Taking the shots of tequila. Following the guys up to the bedroom. They said we were going to watch a movie. Mike, kissing my neck. Picking me up, putting me on the desk. I kissed him back. I liked it. Then I didn’t. I said no. I think I said no. Didn’t he hear me?
I felt the bile rise in my throat. “I think I’m going to be sick.” I started to dry heave, and Rennie guided me over to the curb.
I threw up everything.
“You need to walk,” Rennie told me. “My Jeep’s blocked in the driveway.”
“No!” I said. I was already crying. “We can’t walk all the way to T-Town from here! It’s too far.”
“We have to.” She didn’t sound sympathetic. She started walking. “Let’s go.”
I didn’t say anything for the first mile or so. I just cried. Rennie stayed a few steps ahead of me, her back ramrod straight. My feet were hurting so bad in my sandals, but I couldn’t take them off. There was broken glass on the road. A couple cars drove by, and I wondered if they would stop for us. But they didn’t. They didn’t even slow down.
I threw up one more time in the grass. Rennie came over and pounded me on the back. “I can’t walk anymore,” I said, hugging my arms to me.
“Yes, you can. It’s not that far.”
Rennie started to walk again, but this time I didn’t move. “We have to call someone. I think—I think I need to go to the hospital. I think Mike put something in my drink.”
“He didn’t put anything in your drink.” Her hair was whipping around her face from the wind. “You just had too much, that’s all.”
“That’s not all! He—I didn’t . . .” I was crying hard, so hard that the tears were going in my mouth. “I could have an STD! I could be pregnant!”
