After that amazing night of reconnecting over and over again (a feat that eventually also drove Alanna and Imogen from the house), my husband became a ghost. Not literally, but for as much as he was around after that night, he may as well have been a vague spirit in the house - sensed but never seen.
It started the very next night when he followed up on the lead that the scorned vampire had given him. I was worried when he called and told me he that he wouldn't be home until tomorrow. That worried me for several reasons. One, was the fact that the nest was so far away that he had to stay overnight somewhere, promising he'd be back late Saturday afternoon.
Secondly, I was worried because Teren was anxious, too worried that he wouldn't find the nest in time to wait the few hours until sundown when Halina could go with him. He assured me that she would catch up with him when she could, but he wasn't going to wait for her. As it was still daylight when he left, he couldn't take any of the mixed vampires with him either. Alanna maybe, but even she wouldn't feel good, riding in a sun-filled car for hours. That meant he had to take Hot Ben again. Yeah, I still didn't know what to feel about that, other than worried.
But lastly, I was afraid of him facing more vampires. Maybe that one asshole vamp that had bitten me had put me off on the whole species, but I was filled with anxiety over him going out and knocking on the doors of potentially dangerous people. I mean, as strong as he was, he was a third generation mixed. Strength-wise, that was comparable to a teenager going up against a WWE wrestler. Well, maybe not that drastic, Teren was incredibly strong, but he would be outmatched if things turned violent before Halina got there, Hot Ben guardian or no Hot Ben guardian.
And I couldn't help the thought that this scorned vampire had sent him to some biker gang vampire nest or something, just to have him be ripped to pieces, to send a message to Halina. I was pretty sure that if that were the case, Halina would retaliate by frying the woman, but who knows, maybe she'd consider that a risk worth taking. All of it made me nauseous.
So the twins and I muddled around the house, reading, helping Alanna with housework, when I begged her for something to do, making phone calls to my friends and family, and having conversations with the vampires, in-between their research project of saving my life, or more importantly, the twin's lives.
With Teren gone, I poured over the journals as well, my stomach battling itself over whether to feel revulsion over what I was reading, or fear over Teren's overnight trip. Imogen stroked my arm as she read beside me, her pale, youthful eyes giving me concerned glances. Jack and Alanna talked in the corner over a particularly nasty section in the book that involved eradicating a group of "breeders" - humans, wives and husbands - and I put a hand on my stomach and sighed, looking at the stone wall of Halina's room to where my Teren-sense told me he was, miles away from me.
"He'll be fine, dear."
I looked back at Imogen after she said that. Noticing her tight smile, I thought maybe she was just as concerned as I was. "I know," I whispered, wanting to comfort her as much as she was trying to comfort me. At least we were all in our fear together.
"He'd better be," I heard Halina growl from the other side of the room, pacing as she waited for the final rays of sunlight to fade. "I will hold that bitch personally responsible if she led Teren into a trap." Halina's eyes flashed pure anger as a low growl rumbled from her throat. "And she knows better than to mess with me."
Alanna put a hand on her arm and the teenage-looking vampire straightened and silenced. I nodded, oddly reassured by that, and continued pouring over the lunatic's ramblings. Ten minutes later the sun apparently set, because Halina darted out of the house and zipped away at a brisk pace.
My eyes closed a few hours before dawn as my head dropped down to the grimy paper.
After hours of looking at horrid acts of cruelty, my sleeping mind replayed a night that I hadn't visited for awhile in my dreams. I started having a nightmare of that man and his cruelties to both of us. And since it was a nightmare, my mind only increased the horrors. Instead of him ruthlessly kicking Teren's shattered shins, I visualized him plunging stakes through them, pinning him to the ground as he screamed. And since being pregnant now felt more natural to me than not being pregnant, I imagined myself swollen with life, chained to that wall beside Teren. As Teren screamed, unable to help me, I watched the man come up to me with a cruel smile, and with a flick of his wrist, cut a deep slice along my abdomen, viciously ripping that life out of me. Slumping to the ground in a fog of pain, I saw their perfect, pink faces, their tiny fangs just visible on their newborn smiles as he coldly snapped their necks.
I woke up screaming.
Cool hands were on me in an instant, as a tall muscular body slid into a bed with me. I vaguely registered that one of the vampires must had carried me back to my room after I'd fallen asleep; good thing they were all strong. "Emma, it's alright, I'm here." Teren's cool breath hit my ear as sobs continued pouring from my mouth.
He pulled me into his chest, his body lightly shaking as he struggled to contain the energy we usually felt when we were reunited. I'd been asleep during the build-up and wasn't riled up like he was, but he was gentlemanly enough to try and not ravage me while I was so obviously grieved. He only stroked my back comfortingly and kissed my head. I knew from experience just how much restraint he was using, and loved him all the more for it.
I clung to every part of him that I could, knowing I was making that restraint harder for him, but needing his comfort. Through sobs, I muttered, "I'm so glad you're back. I had such a bad dream."
He sighed in a way that sort of sounded like a groan. "It's okay. No one hurt me, I'm fine."
I shook my head against his chest. My nightmare hadn't been about him meeting with vampires. "No, I dreamt that that man had taken us again...and our babies. He...he..." I couldn't even speak the horror out loud and started sobbing again.
Teren's light shaking stopped as he stiffened in my arms. "Did you read the journals last night?" His voice, while not angry, was not pleased.
I bit my lip and looked up at his face. The room was dark, the early morning rays blocked out by the heavy curtains closed over them, and his eyes glowed soothingly at me. I took a moment to absorb that comfort before I answered him. He waited patiently, knowing that he was soothing me, and then I noticed that he was staring at my eyes too, and that his face seemed to be relaxing. Then I noticed that his features were being lit in an odd way, not from his eyes, but from an outside source. There were no lights in the dark room and I was horribly confused, until I realized that...my eyes were glowing.
I widened them in shock and held a hand in front of my face. Sure enough, I could clearly see my palm, highlighted in a way that had nothing to do with Teren's glow. I'd never noticed this before. I hadn't realized I'd gotten this vampiric side effect too. I don't know why I'd never thought of that. I guess I'd just had too many other things on my plate to notice.
"My eyes glow now, Teren," I said through hiccups, as my breath tried to stabilize.
"I know, don't change the subject." His voice was slightly amused, but serious.
I looked back up at him, his brows bunched as he watched me. I struggled to remember his question. "Um...yes, sorry. I wanted to help," I said, a slight whine to my voice.
He sighed and pulled my head to his. Resting his cheek on my hair, I heard him inhale me, inhale every trace of the world I'd encountered while he'd been gone. I found myself doing the same with him, cringing a bit at the scent of cheap, imitation perfume; the vampire had been a girl again.
"Do you think giving yourself nightmares is helping, Emma," he said softly into my hair. I started to object but he pulled back, eyeing me seriously. "I want you mellow, relaxed." His hand came up to lightly stroke my cheek. "Let me worry about finding the mixed. You..." his hand came down to rest on my belly, a child kicking him in response, "take care of our children." He smiled as he rubbed my stomach. "And stop stressing, please?"
I gave him a half grin and then finally nodded, relaxing into his side. We were silent for a few moments and then I asked him about the nest. He sighed and rested his head against mine. "They weren't happy about me barging in on them, asking questions, but they did have an answer for me." I lifted my head to look at him and he shrugged, the glow of his eyes shaking with the movement. "It wasn't violent, Emma, I promise."
I nodded and asked, "And?" I hoped he'd tell me that they'd said something like, "Mixed? Oh, yeah, there's a group of them that meet for hot fudge sundaes every Saturday morning at the Ghirardelli Ice Cream shop in the Square."
Teren sighed. "They didn't know anything about me, but they gave me more names, a few this time."
I sighed and slumped down to his chest. I guess my scenario had been a little farfetched. Mixed were rare. We'd be lucky to find one, let alone a group of them. Teren sighed with me and kissed my head. I peeked up at him. "I thought you'd be gone longer. How come you're home? Not that I mind."
I smiled and he smiled down at me. "The pull. I found them much faster than I thought I would, and Ben and I were done by the time Great-Gran caught up with us." He chuckled. "She was not happy about immediately having to turn around and run home to beat the sun, but she didn't want to stay holed up in a strange place for a full day. Ben wanted to go to find a motel, since it was so late, but when I turned the car back towards your direction, I couldn't make myself pull away from the highway. Not when you were calling to me. Not when I had no reason to stay in the city anymore." He grinned at me seductively. "It's a good thing I took Great-Gran's car today. It's much faster than mine."
I laughed at that and ran my hands down his back to his jeans, pulling him into me. He smiled, leaning in to kiss me. "Ben?" I asked, between kisses.
Listening to the sounds of the house, I could hear Jack lightly snoring, Alanna and Imogen talking about my nightmare, since my screaming had woken them both up, and one person downstairs sighing irritably, muttering about how next time he was taking his own car. I laughed as Teren confirmed that Ben was hanging out in the living room.
Just as I started reveling in the miraculous man's mouth, he pulled back and gave me a sheepish look. "Don't take this the wrong way..." I frowned as his sheepish look increased. "They gave me a lead that I think may have something to do with a nest talked about in the journals. I think they may be connected to a group of mixed that the man already..." He sighed and ran a hand through my hair. "I really want to go check it out..."
I sighed, realizing that he was asking to leave. "Oh...can't it wait?" I squeezed his body tighter to me. "At least until morning?"
He sighed and leaned down to kiss me. "It is morning, Emma."
I peeked at the clock over his shoulder. It was morning in only the vaguest sense of the term; even the sun was probably begrudging the hour. "Barely," I muttered sullenly.
"I need to get on top of this, Em. If they have anything to do with mixed...? If they may know about us...? I thought I could get it researched enough this afternoon, that Ben, Great-Gran and I could find them tonight." I could hear the turmoil in his voice. He wanted to stay, he wanted to go. I decided to make it easy on him, since he was doing all this for me anyway, me and the kids.
I pushed away from him, cuddling up into my sheets instead. "Fine. I'm still tired anyway, I guess I'll go back to sleep."
He pulled the blankets around me, tucking me in. With a sexy smile, he leaned in to kiss me. "I'll miss you. I love you."
I bit my lip to not tell him that he didn't have to miss me, that his entire body could be wrapped around me as we speak. I didn't place that guilt trip on him though. This was just something he needed to do. "I love you too."
We both heard Ben sigh irritably again, complaining that he'd rather by snuggling up with Tracey than a throw pillow, and we both laughed. Teren sighed and ran a hand down my hair. "I probably should run Ben home."
I bit my lip and nodded, hating that he was leaving the house again. The reverse of the pull, while not as drastic as the reuniting, wasn't pleasant. It was a tearing feeling, like a part of you was being stretched away. Never detached though, just stretched. I think it made the reunion part that much sweeter. I yawned as he watched me. "I'll probably be asleep when you get back," I sighed remorsefully, knowing that there was no way I'd be able to stay awake this early after a night of restless sleeping.
He bit his lip and nodded. "I'll leave you alone." I knew how difficult that would be for him and a part of me wanted to use that to my advantage, wanted to tell him that he should at least say hello, knowing that I could twist that kinetic energy between us into a break-the-bed love fest, but another part of me didn't want to abuse our connection like that. I didn't want to use sex as a weapon to keep him near me. Not when what he was doing was so vastly important.
I put my hand on my stomach and nodded, reminding myself what really mattered. "Okay."
As Hot Ben started muttering that Teren should learn to handle his hard-ons the way every other guy did, I started laughing. "Does he remember that we can all hear him?" I chuckled.
Teren frowned at the floor and then looked back at me. "No, I think that's slipped his mind." He sighed. "I should get him home."
He pulled away from me and I sighed, watching his lean body stand, highlighted by our glowing eyes. "I still can't believe he willingly goes with you."
Teren smiled as he looked down on me. "He's actually pretty helpful." He shook his head, delight clear in his face that he had been able to keep that friendship tight. "He surprises me constantly." He gave me a wry grin. "You'd be very proud of him. Tracey too...if the whole thing wouldn't have her screaming in terror." He shrugged his shoulders and laughed at that, then leaned down to kiss me a final time.
Once back downstairs, I heard him surprise Hot Ben in the living room. "I'm done. I'll take you home now."
I heard Ben sigh gratefully. "Oh, thank god, you're fast in the bedroom too." I heard what sounded like Teren smacking him in arm. "Ow! What? Just saying..." Teren sighed and they both started heading for the door, Ben muttering, "Sorry, no offense or anything. I'm just tired. I want to go home...and be super speedy with my girl too."
Both of the guys laughed at that and I blinked, surprised. I hadn't realized in all the chaos, that Ben and Tracey had moved in together. I sighed that I was missing out on so much, being quarantined here, and smiled that Tracey and Hot Ben were moving in the right direction. Teren was right, Ben was turning out to be very surprising.
And that began the pattern of Teren getting farther and farther away from me. He'd search out every lead a vamp gave him, but he never found anything more than more names, more nests, more leads. No pureblood vampire seemed to know anything about mixed. Most of them were startled that such a thing was even possible. The one group he'd found that he'd thought was somehow connected to mixed, turned out to be a dead-end. Teren had thought they were connected because of a vague reference in the book that sounded like one of the vampire's last name, but it turned out to just be a coincidence. The purebloods had nothing to do with the long-dead mixed vampires in the journals.
So far, no vampire he met knew anything about his kind. But every vamp gave him the name of another vamp, usually to get his annoying ass off their property. But Teren didn't care how he got a name, just so long as he got one. As he was gone more and more, taking some of his family with him if the trip was close enough, I started hearing more and more about fights and scuffles.
As the weeks went by, and my lifespan dwindled, I started hearing about genuine knockouts, and started seeing the result of fighting in Teren's clothes, if not his fast healing body. And of course, he couldn't hide Hot Ben's wounds. When I saw Ben with a black eye one night, I nearly went ballistic. They both assured me that it was nothing, merely a misunderstanding, but it riled me right up, and I practically demanded that Teren stopped this craziness. Obviously, the vampire community knew nothing, and obviously his continual prodding of their nests, was starting to piss them off. He was stirring the beehives, so to speak, and as a general rule of thumb, it was a good idea to leave something as dangerous as hornets, alone.
But Teren didn't. He couldn't. As we rolled into the beginning of April, and my 28th week, Teren started panicking. He didn't take my upcoming due date as a good sign - that I'd make it, or at least make it close enough so that the babies would be able to live on their own, and everything would be fine. No, he started freaking out because my twenty-sixth birthday was in two weeks. To him, that was it. That was the end of my life, and subsequently, the end of theirs.
I felt sort of stuck. As trapped emotionally as I was physically. I knew that physically, I needed to stay at the ranch, and not join Teren on these little outings, for the safety of mankind. In case I died and reanimated. If that happened, and Teren's blood was enough to bring me back as a vampire, I'd go into a bloodbath-frenzy and chow down anything with a pulse. And as much as it pained me to think about it, I wasn't sure if I had the same level of self-control that Teren had shown he had. I had the horrid feeling in the pit of my stomach, that got exceptionally strong when I was tipping back a bovine cold one, well, warm one, that I wouldn't stop, even if the human in question were family. That thought terrified me into staying put.
I also knew why Teren needed to go. Emotionally, I knew I needed to let him do whatever was necessary to try and save the lives inside of me, but I couldn't help the feeling that all he was doing was wasting our precious time. If nothing could be done, and I was going to die anyway, then we'd wasted weeks that we could have spent in each other's arms. Assuming Teren didn't get himself killed first.
A phone call from Tracey a couple of nights later, only emphasized the unease I felt about Teren's increasingly volatile meetings. She'd called me right after I'd hung up the phone on my mother, Mom both worrying about how bored I probably was (which I wasn't, since I could get up and move around just fine, better than ever actually), and delighted in all the time she was getting to spend with her four-legged grandchild.
Hearing Alanna humming outside the front door, I answered the home phone, hoping it was Teren. It wasn't. "Hi, can I talk to Emma?"
Recognizing Tracey's voice, I merrily exclaimed, "Hey, Trace, it's me."
She didn't respond to that right away and I felt the tension curl into the line. I also heard her heartbeat surge, even through the phone. When she spoke, her voice was tight. "Is Teren trying to get Ben killed?"
Panic flooded my body, my heartbeat accelerating so fast and so suddenly, that I knew my revved up vamp blood was taking over. Not wanting shock to start my conversion, I exhaled in a long, slow breath, trying to ease my body back to normalcy. From outside, Alanna stopped humming and asked if I was okay. I whispered that I was, just before I finally answered Tracey.
"Uh, what do you mean?" I crossed my fingers, hoping Tracey was still oblivious to what her boyfriend's true extracurricular activities were. I didn't relish sending Halina to her doorstep.
She exhaled with clear irritation. "The fighting, Emma. You know, the training stuff." I heard clicking and pictured Tracey's long, high heeled legs pacing back and forth in her kitchen. Before I could ask her what she was talking about, she sighed and continued. "You should see his body, Emma. Yeah, he's even more ripped than before, but the black and blue patches are not attractive...and can't be good for him." Her voice trembled a bit, as her true concern showed.
"Oh, well, Teren..." I trailed off, since I really wasn't sure what Ben and Teren's cover story to her was. I kicked myself for not listening to those conversations better, not that Teren had been around much to share them with me.
Tracey sighed again, her voice quavering. "And his face...did you see his black eye?"
I sighed. Yeah, I had seen that. "Sorry, Trace. I'll talk to Teren." I wasn't sure what I was talking to him about, but I'd definitely try talking to him again.
She plopped down heavily somewhere, her clothes rustling. I heard the sounds of shoes being slipped off and thought maybe she'd gone to her room. Her voice relaxed as well as her heart. "Yeah, okay, thanks." She exhaled again and I heard a mattress compressing as she lied down. "I don't know how he ever talked me into this, Emma. I mean, really, it's sort of ridiculous."
I leaned back in my favorite plush chair in the library, one hand going to stroke my belly as I pulled my feet up. Outside, I heard Alanna continue her humming. Upstairs, Imogen clacked away, knitting. "I know, Trace. Men," I harrumphed. I still didn't know what they'd told her, but condemning the male species was usually a proper response to any female conversation.
Apparently it was. She laughed and I heard her roll over on the bed. I could even hear her feet bang together. "Right. I mean, UFC fighting? Seriously?" She laughed again, a little condescendingly. "I know he teaches kickboxing at the gym sometimes and works pretty regularly at that dojo in Chinatown, but Ultimate Fighting?" She laughed again, heartier. "What is he now, Bruce Lee?"
I closed my eyes and cursed my husband. Not for their ridiculous cover story, but for the fact that they knew Hot Ben might get tossed around enough that he'd need such a violent cover story. This was really getting out of control. "Yeah, Trace...kind of absurd." I wondered how far they'd take the cover story. Was Hot Ben actually going to try out?
She snorted. "Yeah, and Teren sparring with him. Who knew the metro sexual was so aggressive in the ring?" She paused for a second after she said that. "Uh, no offense or anything."
I laughed at her analysis of Teren. I'd sort of accused him of the same thing once - he was just very...put together, for a guy. But that wasn't what made me laugh. No, it was Tracey, the girl whose boyfriend could shoot Calvin Klein ads, calling my boyfriend metro sexual. She laughed with me when she realized I wasn't mad at her comment, then my laughter died as what they'd told her sunk in.
I sighed and then she did too. I heard her sit up on her bed. "I know they're both really into this, Em, but maybe you could ask Teren to ease up?" She sighed again, concern filling her again. "You know, I just don't like to see him hurt. And I'm sure you don't like seeing Teren hurt either."
I sighed, remembering Teren's ripped clothing, the dried blood that I knew had come from his already healed body. "No, I don't. I'll talk to him again, Trace. I promise."
Her tone brightened and she stood up, her feet padding across her carpet. "Good! Maybe if they do, I can see a bit more of my boyfriend." I heard her walk into the bathroom as I mentally agreed with her - I'd love to see more of my guy too. She started running water and I heard her lightly giggle. "Did I mention we moved in together?"
Giggling a little myself, I let my tension disappear, if just for a moment. "No, I had to hear it from Ben." I relaxed back into my chair, wishing I had some blood to sip, and smiled at Tracey through the phone. "Spill."
Tracey giggled as she got ready for her bath and proceeded to tell me all about it. As she went into the details of him asking her to live with him in the middle of one of their adventurous sex acts, I felt the stress slide off of me, and let myself just be a girlfriend. I laughed along with her story and commented in all the right places, and silently thanked Tracey for unknowingly easing my mind. Sometimes, I wished I could tell her how often she did that.
I could have used Tracey's easing powers that Saturday afternoon, when Teren, after being gone for most of the week and all of that morning, rushed home with Ben following as close on his heels as a human could. Having felt him approach, I was waiting in the entryway, clutching the naked woman statue to stop myself from blurring to the parking lot and destroying his car again. He haltingly walked into the room, restraint clear in his features as he took jerky steps towards me.
We were trying to learn to control the strong pull we felt towards each other when we were reunited. It was a constant struggle, something we had to contain, much like I always had to contain my teeth from popping down.
At human speed he walked over to me, his movements not looking natural and breezy, but like a bad stop-motion movie, halting and restarting. I smelled the outside world on his clothes as he got near me. Using that to control myself (and also using the lingering fire in my belly, from the fact that he was gone so often), I closed my eyes and took in long pulls. The smell of the bay danced on his flesh, along with the unmistakable smell of fish. He'd been on the wharf today.
I heard Ben enter the house and sigh softly, muttering something about how weird that was, before turning to walk down a hallway that led to one of the side buildings. I tried to listen to him for as long as I could, trying to ground myself, but eventually the pull of Teren was too strong and I ignored Ben. I ignored everyone - Imogen and Alanna talking upstairs, Jack working on one of the cars in the driveway, and Halina's stone-silent sleeping presence - everyone.
No one existed but Teren. My anger faded as my breaths increased. I could hear his increase as well as the draw pulled him closer to me. When he was a few inches from me, we both lost control. Then it was much like it always was when we got together; our restraint dissolved as the tension became unbearable. Then it was searching hands and probing tongues, small gasps and heavy groans. Then he was pressing his hard body against mine as my fingers tangled into his dark hair. Then it was a rush of desire and my mind begging him to take me. And it could be anywhere, right here on the rim of the fountain would be fine, just...take me.
Then duty and obligation calmed his breath and he gently, but firmly, pushed me away. Panting, I opened my eyes and stared up at him, disappointed and grateful for his level of control. His lips inches from mine, minutely coming forward, before pulling back again, his eyes struggled with easing the rush in his body.
I did what I could to help, still not wanting to abuse this amazing draw. I stepped back from him, removing my hands from his body and holding them at my sides. Every fiber of my body screamed at me to touch him. I ignored it and bit my lip, containing a whimper in my frustration. I knew this would soon pass, but it was torture to not give in. Especially when the memory of the few times we had caved, started filling my head. In this state, climax was effortless and easily repeatable. My body was yearning for it.
He closed his eyes, inhaling deep. I knew he was trying to ground himself too, but I also knew he'd smell my desire in the air, and I knew that wasn't helping anything. He bit his lip and started shaking. "Emma," he said, his voice shaky as well. "I have to...help Ben. We have a lead with a very short window." He opened his eyes, they were pained. "There's a chance that they're leaving their nest at nightfall, and it will take hours to get to them. I'm sorry, but I need to reach them before they leave. I don't have time for this."
My eyes flared, my anger cooling my desire. "You never have time."
He straightened in front of me, his body coming under control as my tone eased his desire. "You know why I have to do this." His eyes flashed down to my stomach and I felt myself flush.
Yes, I knew why. I was reminded with every kick, every squirm, every thumping heartbeat, why. I couldn't escape the reasons - they were with me constantly. But I missed him...and I worried for him. He took a step back from me as I struggled for something to say to that. Not having anything, I watched him turn away from me and follow where Hot Ben had gone.
I turned away from the sight of his muscular back leaving me. I felt him exit the main building and enter a side wing. I knew exactly which room he'd gone to, at the far end of the ranch. I stared at the crying woman fountain, feeling tears spring into my own eyes. It wasn't fair. He'd promised me when he'd proposed to me that he'd never take a single second together for granted, and here we were, just a few months later, and possibly the last few months I had, and he couldn't spare twenty minutes to ravage me to oblivion.
A part of me knew it was petty. A part of me knew it wasn't as important as what he was doing. But the majority of me was pregnant, and hormonal, and sexually frustrated.
Feeling a low growl building in my chest, I twisted my head to where I could sense him through the structure of the home. "Screw this," I muttered.
I blurred to the room and busted open the door, cracking the frame. Hot Ben jumped about a foot in the air and squeaked in startlement. Teren had already been looking at the door, sensing me coming. His brows furrowed at me, his face not happy. Mine wasn't either.
"I'm coming with you," I stated matter-of-factly.
He straightened, shaking his head and walking across the room to me. "No, you're not, Emma."
He walked up to me as I put my hands on my hips. "Yes, I am. We were supposed to do this together, Teren. That was the deal, remember? That we'd look for the mixed together." I looked up and down his lean body, my own responding in conflicting ways - angry and aroused. "It's the only way to spend time with you, anyway."
He sighed, sensing my two moods and not knowing what to do with either of them. He put his hands on my upper arms, squatting to search my eyes. His pale ones looked tired. "Well, things changed, Emma, and now you can't. I can't risk you coming with me. You have to stay here, where you're safe."
I raised my chin, feeling childish and empowered. "You're not the boss of me, Teren. It's my decision to make and if I want to go, I'll go."
He gave me a look parents give insolent children, and I narrowed my eyes at seeing it. His tone matched his look as he used logic against me. "I am the boss of you when it comes to this, when it comes to your safety, and the safety of every human you may come across, if you convert in the field."
Internally, I cringed, knowing he was right. Irritated, I jerked away from his body and snapped, "That's not fair." Damn male logic.
He shrugged, straightening. "No, it isn't, but it's true and you know it. And that's why you'll stay here."
My hormonally revved up body heated to a boiling point, and again, I said something that sounded rather childish. "Sometimes I hate you."
He sighed and looked up at the ceiling, seemingly exasperated with me. After a supercharged second he looked back down, crossing his arms over his chest. "I'm going to believe that that's the hormones talking, and not you."
I crossed my arms as well. "Believe whatever the hell you want." Oh yeah, I was definitely crossing into pre-teen territory. In fact, I think I'd had a much similar argument with my mother over going to a boy/girl slumber party in the eighth grade.
Really not liking my tone, he dropped his arms and twisted to run a hand through his hair. "I can't have you around me, Emma." His hand flung out to indicate my body. "You're too distracting."
My mouth dropped at that. "Well, get a grip on it, Teren. I'm coming."
Hot Ben cleared his throat and resumed shoving things into a green army duffel bag. I tuned him out, concentrating on my suddenly chauvinistic husband. He ran his hands down his face, looking like he just wanted to order me to stay, and have that be the end of it. He knew me well enough to know that it wouldn't be that simple - not this time. I was done waiting around.
"Emma." His voice was strained. "I can't protect you out there. It's too dangerous."
I stepped up to him, grabbing his face with my hands. His stubbled skin was course against my sensitive fingers. It sort of matched my mood. "That's exactly why you shouldn't be going. What you're doing, provoking vampires - It's too dangerous!" My eyes shifted over to Hot Ben, his eye a horrid mix of black and yellow. "Look what you're doing to Ben!"
Recalling my phone conversation with Tracey, I leaned around Teren to snap at him, "UFC, Ben? Really?"
Ben straightened from shoving objects in his bag and then shrugged at me, his model face looking sort of sheepish. "What? It seemed like a good excuse. I've always wanted to..." He didn't finish that and ran a hand through his highlighted hair. That was when I noticed what was in his hands, what he'd been shoving into the bag.
Stakes. Handfuls of sharp, six-inch long stakes - some wood, some silver and some, a hard looking plastic.
My mouth dropped as I looked back to Teren. He stiffened as he noticed that I'd finally noticed. "What the hell are you doing?" I backed away from him, a hand automatically going to my stomach, my horrid dream of that man staking Teren's shins suddenly fresh again in my mind. Incredulous, I gaped at him. "What...are you guys some sort of...vampire hunters now?" I looked between the both of them, noticing other objects that Ben was packing - silver knives, one of the journals, a short sword, and a gun, most likely containing silver bullets. They looked like they were going to war. I looked back up at Teren. "Have you gone mad?"
Teren lifted his jaw and clenched it. His eyes looked both worried and infuriated. He obviously didn't want me to see this part of his "meetings". He slightly raised his hands, his head shaking. "Vampires are starting to hear about us. They've been...resistant to talk." He shrugged nonchalantly, like it was all no big deal. "We make them talk, that's all."
I gaped at him. "You make them..." I didn't even want to think about what that meant. I didn't want to think about him turning into a crazed torturer, just like our abductor. Panic clenched me at the thought of the two of them walking into a potentially deadly nest of vampires that we didn't know, but who may be expecting him, who may have heard of him. I clutched his upper arms tight, my new strength making my grip hard enough that he actually flinched. "Don't do this. Are you crazy? They could kill you, both of you."
He jerked out of my grip and pushed my hands away. "We'll be fine, Emma. Please don't str-"
I cut him off. "Do not tell me to not be stressed about this. This is dangerous and stupid, and I'm going to stress as much as I damn well want to stress!"
Hot Ben behind Teren sighed and I glanced over at him running a hand through his hair. "He's right, Em. We'll be fine."
I gaped at him. "Well, aren't you a far cry from the man who sobbingly begged me to not let my fiance eat him!"
Ben flushed and turned away. I turned back to Teren, my panic increasing my irritation. "I never see you anymore. You're always out tracking down some farfetched lead that some random vamp gave you. You're becoming this other person I don't even know. This isn't like you. You're obsessed!" I hissed.
His face got furious and he leaned down, right into mine. "Of course I'm obsessed!" His hands flashed down to me and I actually took a half-step back from him. His fingers rested on my stomach and a twin jostled under his touch. "They are my children! My life! And I will do anything to protect them - to protect you!" His eyes searched mine, heated and impassioned. I barely recognized him. "I will do anything to keep you alive! Anything!"
Backing away from him, fear and anger took over my mouth. "Maybe you should have thought about that before you pissed off a hungry vampire!"
He stepped back like I'd slapped him in the face. His expression was beyond hurt, tortured almost, and his eyes started to water. I saw my Teren again in that betrayed expression and I felt my own tears stinging. "Teren...I..."
He took a step back from me, lightly shaking his head, and then he blurred from the room. I felt him leave the house, then felt him leave the property. I thought he may have just decided to run all the way back to the city, or wherever they were going.
I dropped my head to my hands, not even believing I'd just said that to him. Of all the horrid, hurtful comments I could have made - that was the worst. I knew he felt guilty. Knew he hated to even look at the scar still visible on my neck. And I knew, he thought all of this was his fault. I'd just sliced him open and dumped a trailer load of salt in his wounds. I sort of hated myself.
Hot Ben walked up to me, slinging his bulging duffle bag over his shoulder. More calmly than I ever would have thought possible, he placed a hand on my shoulder and said, "I'll watch over him, Emma. We'll be alright. I'll bring him home."
I looked up at him, his blue eyes confident. He was so different from the man who'd clutched my hand in terror in that fateful parking lot. I wished I had his assurance, but in my head, I imagined that Teren would be the one most likely keeping Ben alive today, and maybe not even succeeding in that. I numbly nodded at him, appreciating his sentiment, since I couldn't quite believe his promise, and he patted me on the shoulder and headed out after Teren.
