As bad as it was for the rest of the world to hate him, he could imagine nothing worse than to see his child despising him. To have his own child deny him.
Of course, if he had one, he would never give it cause to hate him. He'd hold it and love it no matter what.
Go to sleep, Acheron. Just forget everything.
Closing his eyes, he let out a tired breath and tried to sleep again.
"What are you doing?"
He opened his eyes to find Artemis in his bed, beside him. "I was trying to sleep."
"Ah . . . Did you hear about our nephew?"
"I did. Ryssa was just here with him."
She wrinkled her face up. "Don't you find babies nasty and disgusting?"
"No. I thought him beautiful."
She scoffed. "You would. I think they're smelly and fussing. Never content. Always demanding. Yuck, I can't imagine going through all that to have something so nasty clinging to me."
Acheron rolled his eyes as he imagined all the poor infants that were given to Artemis. Obviously she gave their care over to someone much more maternal. "I'm thinking the Greeks should have learned this about you before they declared you the goddess of childbirth."
"Well, that's because I helped my mother give birth to Apollo. That was different." She reached down to cup him softly in her hand. "What have I here?"
"If you don't know by now, Artie, no amount of explaining is going to help."
She laughed deep in her throat as his cock hardened even more. "I was hoping to find you still awake."
Acheron didn't comment as she dipped her head down to take him into her mouth. He stared up at the ceiling while she tongued him. It would probably be more pleasurable if he didn't have to make sure to keep himself in check. But he knew better than to come with her like this. She liked the taste of him, but she didn't like it when he released anywhere except inside her.
Even then she only tolerated it.
He jerked as she nipped him hard enough to hurt. She curled her fingers in the hair around his cock. Sighing, Acheron wished he could go back to the beginning of their relationship. Back to when this had meant so much more than just her sucking on him.
She gave one long lick before she pulled back. He expected her to return to his lips. Instead she sank her teeth into his upper thigh, barely two inches from his sac.
Yelping from the pain, he had to force himself not to push her away and hurt himself even more.
The pain quickly passed into a wave of extreme pleasure. But she didn't allow him to come yet. "I want you deep inside me, Acheron."
Rolling her over onto her stomach, he propped her hips up on his pillows and obliged her request. He held her hips in his hands and buried himself deep inside her. He thrust against her until she'd had enough orgasms that she begged him to stop. Rolling over onto her back, she laughed in satisfaction.
Artemis sighed contentedly until she realized he was still hard. "Why didn't you finish?"
Acheron shrugged. "You were done."
"But you weren't."
"I'll live."
She let out a sound of disgust. "Acheron? What is wrong with you lately?"
Acheron clenched his teeth, knowing better than to answer her question. She didn't want to hear anything other than how wonderful she was. "I don't want to fight, Artemis. What difference does it make? You were pleased, weren't you?"
"Yes."
"Then all is right in the world."
She propped herself up on one arm to stare down at him as he lay beside her. "I really don't understand you."
"I'm really not complicated." All he asked for was the two things she couldn't give him.
Love and respect.
She dragged one long nail around his neck. "Where's my ring that I gave you?"
Acheron flinched at the memory of being forced to swallow it. "It was lost."
"How could you be so callous?"
Him callous? At least he hadn't thrown her gift back in her face and then had her beaten for it. "Where are the pearls I gave you?"
Her face turned red. "Fine. I'll get you another one."
"Don't. I don't need one."
Her eyes darkened angrily. "Are you shunning my gift?"
As if he'd ever take another gift like that from her. He'd had enough abuse. "I'm not shunning anything. I just don't want to take a chance on shaming you. Given everything that has happened, I really don't think it's wise I have something that is so clearly yours."
"That's a good point." She smiled at him. "You are ever loyal to me, aren't you?"
"Yes."
She kissed his cheek. "I'd best go now. Goodnight."
After she was gone, Acheron rolled over onto his back. Closing his eyes, he let his thoughts drift. In his mind he pictured a woman with kind eyes. One who held his hand in public, who was proud to be with him.
He imagined how her hair might smell, how her eyes would light up every time she glanced at him. The smiles they would share. Then he imagined her kissing her way down his body, imagined her looking up at him as she went down on him.
His breathing ragged, he thrust himself against his hand, pretending it was her he made love to.
"I love you, Acheron . . ." He could hear her voice so sweet and calm . . . most of all, it would be sincere.
He gasped as his warm seed coated his hand and seeped between his fingers and not inside a woman who loved him.
Shuddering and only partially sated, he opened his eyes to the harsh reality of his life.
He was alone.
And no woman, mortal or otherwise, would ever willingly claim him.
October 23, 9528 BC
Acheron rolled over in bed, trying to sleep. Apollodorus was screaming so loudly that it echoed all the way down to his room. For hours the baby had cried.
He wasn't supposed to go near the infant, yet he couldn't stand the sound of so much anger and unhappiness. Unable to tolerate another minute of it, he got out of bed and dressed.
Quietly, he walked down the hallway to Ryssa's room, making sure no one saw him. He cracked open the door to find Ryssa and her nurse in the room, swapping the baby between them.
"Why is he doing this?" Ryssa asked in a voice that sounded as if she were about to cry herself.
"I don't know, Highness. Sometimes babies cry for no reason."
Ryssa shook her head at the baby the nurse was rocking in her arms. "Please, child, have mercy on your mother and rest. I can't take much more of it."
Acheron slipped into the room. "I'll take him."
The nurse's face paled as she turned away.
"It's all right, Delia. Let Acheron see if he can quiet him."
The nurse appeared dubious, but in the end she obeyed.
Acheron took his nephew and tucked him into the crook of his elbow. "Hello, little one. You're not going to fuss at me, are you?"
Apollodorus took a deep breath as if he were about to let loose another wail, then opened his eyes. He stared at Acheron for several heartbeats before he quietly cooed, then settled down to sleep.
"That is a miracle," the nurse breathed. "What did you do?"
Acheron shrugged as he placed Apollodorus on his shoulder.
Ryssa smiled. "That's it. I'm making you his nurse."
Acheron laughed at the thought of him as a nurse to anything. "Go to bed, sister, you look exhausted."
Nodding gratefully, she started off. The nurse held her hands up for the baby.
Acheron handed him back, but the instant Apollodorus left his arms, the baby woke up and screamed again.
Ryssa jumped. "For the love of the gods, let Acheron keep the boy. I can't take another hour of this."
The nurse obeyed instantly.
Again Apollodorus cuddled against Acheron and went to sleep.
"Where should I take him?" Acheron asked.
Ryssa paused. "You better not risk the nursery. Father or Styxx might venture there. Take him to your room." She looked at her nurse. "You go to the nursery and cover for us should they ask after him."
"Yes, Your Highness." She bowed and left them.
Ryssa patted his arm gratefully. "Wake me when he's ready to feed. In the meantime, I must sleep."
Acheron kissed her lightly on the cheek. "Rest. We'll be back when he needs you." He watched her climb into bed before he took his nephew down to his room.
"Well, it appears to be just the two of us, little one. What say you we get naked, drunk and find us some wenches?"
The baby actually smiled up at him as if he understood.
Acheron nodded. "So that's it, eh? Barely a month old and you're already lecherous. You are your father's son."
Sitting on the bed, he leaned his back against the headboard and lifted his knees so that he could lay Apollodorus against his legs to cradle him. Acheron tickled his belly, causing him to laugh and kick Acheron's stomach.
The tiny infant amazed him. He'd never really been around one before. Apollodorus took his finger into his tiny hand and led it to his mouth so that he could suckle Acheron's knuckle. The sensation of the toothless gums against his flesh was so strange, yet it pacified the baby even more.
How could anyone hate something so purely innocent? Something so helpless?
The thoughts chased themselves around his mind as he thought about his parents and tried to understand them. He could fathom some of his father's hatred now. It wasn't as though Acheron went out of his way to please the man.
But as a child . . .
How many times had he been slapped for nothing more than looking at someone? How many times had Estes tied his hands behind his back and put a scold in his mouth for asking a simple question?
But worse than his memories were the fears of someone hurting this babe in such a manner.
"I would kill anyone who hurt you like that, Apollodorus. I promise you, no one will ever make you cry."
The baby yawned and smiled before he closed his eyes. Still holding Acheron's finger, he fell asleep. Warmth spread through Acheron. There was no judgment or anger in the baby. He accepted him without malice.
Smiling, he placed the baby down on his bed to sleep more comfortably and covered him with a blanket.
Acheron lay for hours, watching him sleep in perfect repose. Exhausted himself, he finally nodded off.
"Acheron?"
Acheron woke up to find Ryssa standing in front of him. He was lying on his side with his hand still on Apollodorus's stomach. The baby had yet to waken, but by the rise and fall of the tiny chest, he knew the baby was fine.
"What time is it?"
"Midmorning." She looked incredulous. "How did you get him to sleep through the night?"
"I don't know. We were talking about wenching and he fell asleep."
She laughed. "No, you weren't. Were you?"
"I suggested it and he liked the thought. Unfortunately, he had no stamina for it."
She laughed again. "Don't you dare corrupt my baby, scamp."
Acheron withdrew his hand so that Ryssa could pick the baby up. Apollodorus opened his eyes and smiled at his mother before he put one fist in his mouth to slurp it.
"Whatever you did, bless you for it. It's the first good sleep I've had in months." She glanced to the door. "Now, let me run before Father learns we were here."
Please. That was the last thing he needed.
Stretching, Acheron sat up in bed. It was later than he normally rose. He preferred to get up before the rest of the household and tend his needs without fear of running into anyone.
That being said, it was late enough that everyone should now be about their business.
He grabbed his clothes and razor and headed down to the bathing room. Luckily the large room was empty. As always, he placed his razor by the basin on the wall and hung up his clothes.
Naked, he descended to the steps to take him into the heated water that felt incredible against his skin. The pool was waist deep unless he sat in it and as large as a dining table. Acheron went down on his knees and leaned back to wet his cropped hair so that he could wash it. Closing his eyes, he sighed contentedly. This was the best part of his day.
He rose up and reached for the soap, then froze as he realized he was no longer alone.
Nefertari was there, staring at him with a heated look he knew all too well.
Acheron withdrew his hand and stepped back in the pond. "Forgive me, my lady. I didn't mean to intrude on your time."
She watched him like a cat eyeing a mouse and when he reached for a towel, she stopped him. "How is it you're so much more handsome than your twin brother?" She pulled the pin from her gown and let it fall to her feet. Her nude body was beautiful, but he wanted no part of it.
Acheron bolted from the pool, but she blocked his way to the door. "I need to leave."
Laughing, she wrapped herself around him. "No, you don't." She nipped his chin with her teeth.
"I'm involved with someone."
"So am I."
Acheron tried to pry her loose but short of hurting her, there wasn't much he could do as she grabbed at him. Wrenching himself from her grasp, he started away only to step on the soap where he'd left it by the pool. He hit the ground hard enough to knock the breath out of him.
Nefertari was on him in an instant. "Make love to me, Acheron."
He rolled over with her, and just as he was rising, the door swung open.
The blood drained completely out his face as he saw Styxx and his entourage there. They drew up short, their eyes not missing a single detail.
Acheron cursed as he realized how damning this looked. How damning it was.
Nefertari started screaming and slapping at him. "Don't rape me. Please!"
Sick to his stomach, he rolled away from her. She scrambled away and rushed to Styxx where she cried as if her heart were broken. "Thank the gods that you came when you did. It was terrible."
Styxx handed her over to his guards.
Acheron rose slowly to his feet to face his twin whose fury was so great his cheeks were mottled with red. He knew better than to even try to explain. Styxx would never believe him.
So he let them take him. They hauled him down to the cells under the palace. Acheron grimaced as he was wedged into a hole that brought back "fond" memories. He wrapped his arms around himself, trying to banish the chill. But nothing could warm the one on his soul that dreaded what they were going to do to him after this.
"Artemis?" he breathed her name quietly.
He could feel her presence even though he couldn't see it. "What are you doing in here?"
"I've been accused of rape."
He felt a severe pressure on his neck as if she were choking him. "Did you?"
He coughed. "You know better."
The pressure withdrew. "Then why are you here?"
"They won't believe my innocence and I swear on my soul that I didn't touch her. I . . . I need your help."
"With what?"
He looked up to where there was only a shadowed image of her and spoke the one thing he wanted most in life. "Kill me."
"You know I won't do that."
"They're going to geld me, Artemis. Do you understand that?"
"I'll fix it."
Acheron laughed bitterly. "You'll fix it. That's your answer?"
"Well, what would you have me do?"
"Kill me!" he shouted.
"Don't be so melodramatic."
"Melodramatic? They're going to chain me down, cut open my scrotum and remove my testes and then crush the channel. All while I feel every move they make and I can assure you they won't be gentle. How the fuck is that melodramatic?"
She scoffed at his anger. "And I will repair you afterward. So there's nothing for you to worry about."
Aghast at her attitude and dismissal, he felt her withdraw from him. Wanting to kill all of them, he banged his head against the stone wall.
I should have fought them . . .
But honestly what good would it have done him? They would have outnumbered him and beat him down until there was nothing left to fight with. Then he would have been dragged in here anyway.
Repulsed by his life, he wasn't sure how much time had passed before the guards returned to get him. He was dragged out of the room and shackled, then taken to his father's throne room. Naked, Acheron was forced to his knees in front of Styxx, his father and Nefertari who was still weeping.
The king glared at him unmercifully. "I find myself in a dilemma. The crime you've committed is punishable by death. But since I can't do that, we've decided to castrate you. No doubt it's what we should have done at your birth."
Acheron laughed at the irony. "That would have been too merciful an act for you. Not to mention how angry your brother would have been had you neutered his favorite toy."
His father came off the throne with a violent shout.
Acheron didn't so much as flinch. "Don't be so angry, Father. It's not like you didn't know what Estes did to me. In fact his greatest dream was for you to die and leave Styxx with him too so that he could have us both in his bed at once."
His father's curses echoed in his ears as the man set on him with the wrath of the Furies. The first blow caught Acheron across his jaw. The next broke his nose and set it to throbbing viciously. Blow after blow rained down on him.
Acheron welcomed every one of them as he continued to taunt the king. At best his father would kill him. At the very least he'd be knocked senseless enough to not feel the full pain of what they were going to do to him.
"Father, please!" Styxx said, hauling him back. He turned on Acheron who was lying on his side. "You are nothing but filth." Styxx kicked his side so hard that he heard his ribs snapping. The force of it rolled him over onto his back. Styxx's next kick landed solidly between his legs.
Acheron cried out at the unbearable pain as his brother repeatedly kicked him there until he was sure he no longer needed gelding.
"Fetch the physician," his father roared. "Let's see this bastard finished."
Panting in an effort to get breath into his abused body, Acheron was placed on a cold slab of stone, his arms chained above his head while his legs were spread and chained. He leaned his head back and laughed at them. "If you're planning a party, Father, you need to chain me face down first."
"Gag that filth."
One of the guards shoved cloth into his mouth. Acheron saw the shadow of the physician coming forward. He tightened his grip on the chains, bracing himself for what was to come.
But no amount of preparation could reduce the pain of what they did to him. Acheron screamed out in agony until his throat was as raw and bleeding as the rest of his body.
By the time he was dumped back in his room, he was spiritually numb-if only the rest of him was too. Unable to stand, he crawled across the floor to the small table where he'd left a knife from his meal the night before. Reaching up, he took it in his trembling grasp.
He was so tired of begging and he was tired of being hurt. Unable to stand another day of it, he sliced open his wrists and watched as the blood poured out.
October 25, 9528 BC
Acheron cursed foully as he woke up in extreme pain. Why wasn't he dead? But then he knew. So long as his life was tied to Styxx's no one would have mercy on him. Ever. Overwhelmed by despair, he tried to move only to find himself chained again to his bed.
He cried out in frustrated fury before he banged his head against the straw mattress.
A movement to his right drew his gaze and he went cold at the sight of the small woman who stood there. It was Ryssa, dressed in purple and gold.
She came forward and the look of pity and guilt in her eyes was enough to bring tears to his own. "I didn't tell them," she whispered. "Styxx passed out and Father found you." Tears fell down her face. "I can't believe what they did to you. I know you didn't touch Nefertari. You would never have done such a thing to anyone and I've told them that repeatedly. They never hear a word I speak . . . I know it doesn't help, but Styxx broke off his engagement to her and sent her back to Egypt. I'm so sorry, Acheron." She laid her head against his and wept quietly in his ear.
Acheron kept his own tears inside. There was no need to cry. This was his life and no matter what he tried, it would never get better.
Besides Artemis would fix him . . .
He wanted to shout out in bitter frustration and anger at the goddess's cavalier attitude.
Ryssa stroked his cheek. "Will you not speak to me?"
"And say what, Ryssa? I think my actions speak loudly enough for even a deaf man to hear. But no one ever listens to me either."
She sniffed back her tears while she brushed tender fingers through his hair. "This is so unfair to you."
"Life isn't about being fair," he breathed. "It's not about justice. It's all about endurance and how much we can suffer through."
He was so tired now. But no one would let him sleep.
Through the walls he heard Apollodorus crying. "Your son needs you, Princess. You need to go to him."
"My brother needs me too."
He let out a tired sigh. "No, I don't. Trust me, I don't need anyone."
She pressed her lips to his cheek. "I love you, Acheron."
He didn't speak as she withdrew. Right now there was no kind of love inside him. Only anguish and despair and anger could be felt. Turning his head, he looked down at the stark white bandage on his wrist. They had it padded so that he couldn't reopen the wound to finish what he'd started.
So this was it then.
Closing his eyes, he thought of his future. Of nothing changing. Of living tied down and beaten . . . forever.
He bellowed at the weight of his hopelessness. Then he fought his restraints with everything he had. But it wasn't enough to break them.
He was never enough of anything.
Bellowing even louder, he took comfort in the throbbing pain of his wounds.
Ryssa came running into the room.
Acheron ignored her as he tried to break through the chains that held him down. "I've had enough and I want out!"
She gathered him in her arms to hold him. He tried to fight her, but he couldn't. "I know, Acheron. I know."
No, she didn't know. Thank the gods that she had no idea how fucking awful his life was. How much pain he lived with. How much rejection.
He slammed his head back into the headboard and finally let his tears fall. Even though he was a man, he felt like that same little boy who'd reached out for his mother's touch only to have her backhand him. "Get me drunk, Ryssa."
She pulled back. "What?"
"For the love of the gods, get me something to make it stop hurting so much. Alcohol or drugs, I don't care which. Just make it all go away . . . please."
Ryssa wanted to deny him. She didn't believe in running away from her problems, but as she looked at him and saw the blood seeping from the wounds of his body and the tears in his eyes, she couldn't turn aside this one request.
No one should suffer so much. No one.
Against her will, her gaze went to his groin. The blood there made her sick to her stomach. The cruelty of what they'd done to him had been beyond measure-the fact that both her father and Styxx took so much pleasure from their actions disgusted her on a level she'd never dreamed existed. She would never feel right about either one of them again. "I'll be right back."
She ran to her room and grabbed the one bottle of wine that she had. "Nera?" she said to her maid who was dusting the chairs. "Could you get more wine and bring it to me in Acheron's room?"
Confusion wrinkled the petite girl's brow, but she knew better than to question her mistress. "How much more, Princess?"
"As much as you can carry."
Ryssa headed back to his room with what she had. He lay spread out on the bed with only a thin sheet covering him. Dried blood and bruises marred most of his body and the pain in those silver eyes stole her breath.
Aching for him, she wiped the tears from his eyes before she lifted his head and helped him to drink.
"May the gods bless you for your kindness," he breathed as he finished it off.
Nera came in with more. Ryssa traded bottles with her, then tipped it to Acheron's lips. It wasn't until the third bottle that he was completely drunk.
"Acheron?" she asked, afraid she might have given him too much.
He let out a long breath before his tormented gaze captured hers. "Promise me something, Ryssa."
"Anything."
"Don't ever hate your son. Please." His silver eyes fluttered closed as he passed out.
Weeping, Ryssa held him close as she ached for him. She would kill anyone who ever hurt her son like this. Even her own father. But Acheron had never known such love, such care, and that broke her heart even more. "Sleep in peace, little brother. Sleep in peace."
Wiping away her tears, she left him alone and went to check on Apollodorus. For the rest of the day she held her son close, promising him that he would never be left alone in the world. That she would always love him and protect him from anyone out to do him harm.
If only their mother had made such a promise to Acheron.
October 27, 9528 BC
Acheron lay in bed with the tip of his nose itching so badly it actually overrode the rest of his pain. He'd sell his soul if only he could scratch it. A bright flash to his left drew his attention.
It was Artemis. Dressed in white, she was as beautiful as always and he hated her for it.
His stomach knotted in anger that she'd finally remembered him. "What are you doing here?"
"I was bored."
He scoffed at her petulance and the fact that she'd come to him now. "I'm afraid I can't entertain you anymore. I'm no longer capable of it."
She pulled the sheet off him and curled her lip at what they'd done to his groin. "Ew! What did they do?"
He closed his eyes as humiliation washed over him. "They emasculated me. Remember? I was even stupid enough to ask for your help."
"Oh, that." She snapped her fingers.
Acheron gasped as even more pain tore through his groin. It ached so badly it took his breath and brought tears to his eyes.
"See? You're all better."
His breathing ragged, he was still on fire.
"Your hair's longer."
Was that all she cared about? His hair was longer? It was a good thing he couldn't move, otherwise he might have gone for her throat over that comment.
"Why are you chained?"
If she asked one more stupid fucking question, he really was going to strangle her. "To keep me from trying to kill myself."
"Why would you do that?"
Acheron ground his teeth. What good would it do to even try to explain it? She couldn't care less. She hadn't cared less when he'd begged her to do it for him. Except for the fact that she'd be bored and might actually have to try and find another man to jump on top of. Gods forbid someone else's cock might actually satisfy her. "It seemed like a good idea at the time. Not so much presently."
She gave him an annoyed glare. "I shall have to get them to release you. I swear, you're more trouble than you're worth. Wait here."
As if he had a choice? "Don't worry," he called out after she'd vanished. "I can't even get up to piss."
And his nose was still itching.
It wasn't long before his father entered the room to glare at him in displeasure. What else was new?
As always, the king looked freshly groomed. His blond hair was perfectly combed and his white robes gleamed in the sunlight.
Acheron met his scowl unflinchingly. "Can I help you?"
His father's blue eyes lit with fury. "What more has to be done to teach you your place?"
His place? That should be as his father's heir. It should be one of a revered prince.
Instead, he was lying chained down on a bed, his nakedness only concealed by the bloodied sheet Artemis had tossed back on top of him so she wouldn't have to see the butcher's handiwork. He was filthy from lack of washing and no doubt his hair was as ragged as his beard.
Acheron looked away. "I know my place."
His father kicked the bed. So much for Artemis getting him freed.
"The maids are sick of cleaning up your filth, not that I blame them. For that reason, you're being set free. But if you do anything else stupid, I swear by all the gods that I'll chain you to a wall in the dungeon and leave you there to rot."
He'd already done that to him.
"Don't worry, Father. I'll stay out of your way."
"You better." He gestured for the guards behind him to remove the shackles.
Finally, Acheron could scratch his nose again. He'd barely finished it before Styxx entered the room and tossed a pale blue garment at him.
Acheron frowned until he realized it was one of Ryssa's gowns.
Styxx laughed. "I thought you might want something to match the new you."
His gaze turned red in anger.
Before he could think better of it, Acheron was off the bed. He tackled Styxx to the floor and pounded his head against the stone, wanting to shatter it like a melon. He got in a good six solid whacks until the guards pulled him off Styxx's stomach.
Acheron fought them with everything he had, but they held his arms twisted behind his back so that there wasn't much he could do except curse them. Thank you, Artemis, for rescinding your gift.
