“I’ll take good care of it for you,” she promised.
“I’d rather you took good care of yourself,” he whispered back.
The movie started then, and Cecilia settled back, her head resting on his shoulder. He slid one arm around her; she didn’t object. Ian had no idea what the movie was about. He thought only of Cecilia, remembering the early days of their relationship and reveling in her nearness.
When the movie ended they walked slowly out of the theater, but Ian wasn’t ready to leave her. “I want to come home with you,” he said, standing next to her car, the driver’s door open. Just so there’d be no misunderstanding about what he intended, he kissed her again, his mouth hard and hot.
Her eyes still closed, Cecilia broke it off and lowered her head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“I do. Cecilia, we’re married. It’s been months since we made love.”
“We’re getting divorced.”
“Fine, divorce me later, but love me now. I need you.”
“Ian…”
She didn’t say no, but she didn’t quite say yes, either. Ian followed her home. When she arrived, he climbed quickly out of his car and opened the building door to let her in.
He waited in the hallway while Cecilia unlocked the apartment. She glanced over her shoulder.
It was all the invitation Ian needed. She met him just inside; he closed the door with his foot and reached for her. She came to him willingly, throwing her arms around his neck.
Ian lifted her from the floor and they kissed with such abandon that the world could have come to an end and they wouldn’t have noticed. He removed her sweater and her bra, kissing her as he peeled away the layers of clothing. Her breasts seemed to throb in his hands.
“Don’t make me wait,” she pleaded.
Even in the dark, Ian had no trouble finding the bedroom. He held her by one hand and led her there.
He placed her on the bed, pressing against her, all the while kissing her slowly, dragging out each kiss until he thought he’d explode. The blood pounded in his ears as he stepped back and stripped off his own clothes. Cecilia shed her slacks.
It’d been so long, too long, and he was ready. He prayed she was, too. His gaze sought out hers in the dim moonlight that filtered through the bedroom curtains. She smiled softly and lifted her arms to him. He felt overwhelming relief—and then he was on his knees over her.
She linked her arms around his neck and they kissed until they were breathless and he entered her. Slowly, so slowly, for fear of hurting her. When he paused, Cecilia whimpered, urging him to continue.
“Cecilia…” He groaned her name when he realized what he’d done. He had protection with him, and here they were risking the possibility of another pregnancy. “I didn’t…I should—”
“No.” Her arms tightened around him. “Don’t stop. Not now. It’s all right…this is my safe time.”
God forgive him his weakness, but he did as she asked and poured his life into her.
Afterward Ian held her, kissing her repeatedly. Maybe now this insanity about divorce would be over. Maybe now they could go back to being married. But he was afraid to suggest it, afraid she’d reject him.
A few minutes later, he stood and retrieved his clothes. Cecilia sat up on the bed, clasping her knees with both arms, and watched him dress. He silently begged her to speak, invite him to stay the night.
She didn’t.
This was crazy, idiotic! They’d just finished making love. She had to know how he felt about her. He hadn’t tried to hide his feelings. He waited for her to say something, to stop him. A word, that was all it would take. One damn word. She wasn’t willing to give him even that. So he left.
Grace was in a glorious mood. The entire world could now be viewed through rose-colored glasses, and all because she was going to become a grandmother. That news was just the boost her life and her marriage had needed. Dan’s spirits, too, had revived, and they’d had a wonderful talk, reminiscing over the early years of their own marriage when their daughters were young. In the weeks since Kelly’s phone call, Grace’s love for her husband had been rekindled. The dark times they’d experienced recently had clouded her perspective on their years together. Maybe she didn’t always get what she wanted from Dan, what she needed, but she did love him.
They’d been little more than teenagers when they got married. So young…It hadn’t mattered that they’d lived below the poverty line, they were happy. Vietnam had shaken up their lives, but they’d survived and so had the marriage.
Wednesday night was her aerobics class, and Grace hurried in the front door, coming straight home from the library. To her surprise, the house on Rosewood Lane was dark and silent.
“Dan?” she called out. Almost always he was home before her.
Nothing.
The first thing her husband did when he walked in was turn on the television. He showered and changed clothes, but the TV was on, even if he wasn’t watching.
He hadn’t mentioned anything that morning about being late. She checked the calendar to be sure he didn’t have a dentist’s or doctor’s appointment, but nothing was noted. Pulling hamburger out of the refrigerator, she hurriedly put together a casserole and placed it in the oven, then packed her exercise clothes and tennis shoes inside her gym bag.
The phone rang and she answered it immediately, expecting to hear Dan’s voice. The caller was someone wanting to ask her questions for a survey; she got rid of him in short order. Answering the phone prompted her to check the machine, but there were no messages.
When the oven timer went off sixty minutes later, she took out the beef-and-rice casserole and set it on the stovetop to cool. Wednesday evenings were hectic for Grace. Dan didn’t object to her attending the exercise class, but he didn’t like waiting for her to return before he ate dinner. Consequently, Grace rushed home, got a meal on the table and then rushed out the door to meet Olivia for their seven o’clock class.
When it was obvious that Dan wasn’t going to be there to join her, Grace ate alone. She picked at the casserole, which was one of his favorite recipes and not hers. Because she’d be leaving him, she always chose a dish she knew he’d enjoy. That was something she did, almost unconsciously, on Wednesdays.
As she sat at the table, the space across from her empty, Grace reviewed that morning’s conversation for something she might have missed. The alarm had gone off at the usual time. Dan made the coffee and packed his lunch; Grace showered and dressed. They each had toast and homemade strawberry preserves while she wrote her list for the day and he read the Bremerton Sun. After thirty-five years together, they’d settled into the comfort of habit.
Grace couldn’t recall Dan saying or doing anything out of the ordinary that morning. She’d kissed him on his way out the door, same as usual, mentioned what she’d be making for dinner and said she’d see him that evening. With his thermos and lunch bucket in hand, he’d headed for his truck and pulled out of the driveway. An hour later, after she’d finished wiping down the kitchen counter and running a load of laundry, Grace left for the library. Their morning routine had been the same as always. But where was Dan?
“You’re making too much of this,” Grace said aloud. It was just that the house seemed so empty. Everything felt slightly wrong without him there. He should’ve been sitting in front of the television, drinking his after-dinner coffee, watching the news.
Grace delayed leaving for her exercise class as long as she could. Before she went to the gym, she jotted a note and left it on the kitchen counter where Dan would see it when he came in the back door.
Driving into the lot at the YMCA a few minutes late, Grace noticed that Olivia was waiting for her. Her friend seemed positively lighthearted, and Grace wondered if her good mood could be attributed to the news about James or her dinner date with Jack Griffin.
“You’re looking terrific,” Grace commented, as they walked into the building.
Olivia laughed. “I feel terrific.”
“How was your date?”
Olivia didn’t answer right away. “Interesting.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means I find Jack Griffin an interesting guy. He’s thoughtful, well-read, has strong opinions. He seems open and honest, and yet there’s a hint of…mystery about him. It’s probably nothing important, but you know how much I hate secrets and deceptions.”
“What kind of mystery?”
“Well, for one thing, he’s friends with Bob Beldon. Apparently they’ve known each other for ten years, but he never once mentioned how they met. It seemed odd, you know?”
Grace wasn’t sure she did, but she let her friend continue talking because it distracted her from worrying about Dan. She was overreacting, she told herself again, but then she had a tendency to do that. Her imagination frequently got the best of her. The girls were never just late, they’d been in a horrible car crash and were lying in a ditch bleeding, calling out for her. That was just how her mind worked. It was probably all the murder mysteries she read.
“You’re certainly quiet,” Olivia remarked.
“Me?” Grace returned, acting surprised.
“Yeah, you. Is something wrong?”
“What could be wrong? I’m fine—great. Excited about Kelly’s news.”
“How’s Dan?”
Olivia always did have a way of homing in on the problem. Grace glanced toward her and sighed.
“It is Dan, isn’t it? Is he in another one of his moods?”
They entered the crowded locker room and Grace found a place on the bench. “No. Actually, his spirits have been good lately. I know we’ve had our ups and downs over the years, but this is a positive time for us both.”
“Stan and I had our own roller-coaster ride.”
This wasn’t encouraging, seeing that her friend had been divorced for nearly fifteen years.
Olivia looked away. “You know what I mean.”
Grace nodded. Olivia might be divorced but, regardless of anything she might say to the contrary, she remained linked to Stan by more than their children. He’d been the love of her life, and the death of their oldest son and the divorce that followed hadn’t changed that. Stan would always be part of Olivia’s life, even while he was married to another woman. Grace understood this. She doubted that Olivia fully recognized the strength of her bond to him.
“What’s up with Dan?” Olivia pressed.
Grace stripped off her sweats and changed her shoes. “He isn’t home from work yet.” Then, before Olivia could chastise her for worrying, she added, “He probably had an appointment and forgot to tell me.”
“He might have said something and it slipped your mind,” Olivia suggested.
“Sure.” Grace had already considered that scenario, but didn’t really believe it. Something was wrong. Her heart told her and her head echoed that certainty, pounding with fear.
Probably because of her pent-up anxiety, Grace had the best workout of her life. By the time class finished, she was so weak she could barely walk back to the change room.
