1. I'm really not sure about Mum's new highlights.

2. That Greek-style cake Lissy made for my birthday was the most disgusting thing I've ever tasted.

3. I borrowed Jemima's Ralph Lauren swimsuit to go on holiday with Mum and Dad, and I bust one of the straps.

4. The other day when I was navigating in the car, I nearly said 'What's this big river all round London?' Then I realized it was the M25.

5. I had this really weird dream last week, about Lissy and Sven.

6. I've secretly starting feeding Artemis's spider plant 'Rebuild' plant food.

7. I'm sure Sammy the goldfish has changed again. Where did that extra fin come from?

8. I know I have to stop giving out my 'Emma Corrigan, Marketing Executive' card to complete strangers, but I just can't help it.

9. I don't know what advanced pro-ceramides are. (I don't even know what backward pro-ceramides are.)

10. Last night, when Jack said 'What are you thinking about?' and I said 'Oh nothing …' that wasn't quite true. I was actually planning the names of all our children.

But the thing is, it's completely normal to have the odd little secret from your boyfriend. Everyone knows that.

THE END


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