CHAPTER 19

Archer

I'd never been happier in my life. Every day, I worked around the property as the puppies chased at my heels, getting into trouble wherever they could, knocking stuff over and causing general, puppy mayhem.

And every afternoon, my heart lurched happily when I heard the squeak of my gate telling me Bree had arrived.

We would talk, her telling me about her day. Her eyes shined as she told me about all the new recipes she was coming up with at the diner now that Norm and Maggie had given her the job of re-vamping some parts of the menu. She looked so proud and happy when she laughed and told me how even Norm had begrudgingly, albeit grumpily, admitted that her side-dish recipes were better than his. She said she had plans to move on to some of the main dishes next, and then winked after she said it, making my chest squeeze tightly at how beautiful she was.

Sometimes I felt like I stared at her too much and tried to look away when she caught me. I wanted to stare at her all day long though–to me, she was the most beautiful woman in the world.

I loved the way her brown hair had little streaks of gold in it when the sun hit it. I loved how her eyes slanted up ever so slightly and how her lips were full and pink, like a rosebud. I loved kissing them. I could kiss them forever. They tasted like peaches.

I loved the shape of her face–like a heart. And I loved her smile, the way her whole face lit up and her happiness shined right out of her eyes. It was beautiful and genuine, and it made my heart skip a beat each time she turned it in my direction.

I loved her slim body and the way her skin was white where her bathing suit covered it. I adjusted myself in my pants and moved the thought of Bree's body out of my mind. I was working right now and I needed to focus.

I smeared a little more mortar between the stones I was positioning on the sides of the back, cement steps. They were just stones I had gathered down by the lake, but I thought they made the plain stairs blend in more nicely with the new stone patio.

I was just finishing up when I heard my gate open and then close. I frowned. Who in the hell could that be? Bree was working at the diner until two today. It was only noon.

I stood up and walked around my house to look up the driveway and saw Travis, in his uniform, walking down slowly, looking around as if he'd never been here before. Although, the last time he'd seen the place, I was a kid and it had looked a lot different.

Travis spotted me and looked surprised. We walked the couple feet between us to meet each other in front of the house.

"Hey, Archer."

I wiped my hands on the rag I was holding and regarded him, waiting for him to tell me why he was there.

"The place looks nice."

I nodded, acknowledging his compliment. I knew it looked good.

"You've been working hard."

I nodded again.

He sighed. "Listen, man, Bree told me how you two have been spending time together, and I," he ran his hand through his hair, seeming to consider, "well, I guess I wanted to come out here and say hi. And that I'm sorry I haven't been out before this."

I kept studying him. Travis had never been easy for me to read. I had fallen into his traps before when he tried to pretend he was my friend, and then metaphorically shot me in the back. Even when we were both kids, even before my accident. I didn't necessarily trust him now, but I supposed maybe people could change–it'd been a long time. I was going to give it a try. For Bree. Only for Bree. Because I thought that would make her happy. And I'd do anything to make Bree happy.

I nodded at him, giving him a very small curve of my lips and gestured to the house, asking if he'd like to come inside.

"Yeah, yeah, sure," he said.

We walked to the front door and I let him in before me, walking behind him and pointing to the kitchen. I went straight to a cabinet and got a glass and filled it with water from the tap and took a long drink.

When I was done, I pointed to the glass and to him and raised my eyebrows.

"No, thanks," he said. "I'm actually on my lunch hour right now, so I can't stay long. What I actually wanted to know was whether you'd like to go out with me and some of the guys tonight? Nothing big–just a simple guys' night out, a few beers, some laughs."

My brows furrowed and I stared at him. I pointed to my scar and made a fake laughing movement.

Travis breathed out. "You can't laugh?" And he actually looked embarrassed. I'd never seen that look on Travis's face. Maybe he had changed a little. "Wait," he seemed to reconsider, "you can laugh. A soundless laugh is still a laugh. Come on, the point is, wouldn't you like to have some fun? Get away from this little house for a night? Be a normal guy?"

I wanted to be a normal guy. Or at least, I wanted Bree to see me as a man who was at least a little bit like other men. I had never wanted that before. In fact, I had wanted the opposite–to look as abnormal as possible so that no one looked at me. But now, now there was Bree. And I longed to give her what she deserved, not a sad hermit who never left his property. I was sure that she had gone on dates with men before me. They had probably taken her to restaurants and coffee shops. I didn't know how to do any of that. I needed to learn.

I nodded at Travis and mouthed, Okay.

He looked slightly shocked, but grinned–his big, white teeth flashing. "All right, then!" he said. "I'll be back to pick you up later tonight. Nine o'clock okay?"

I shrugged. That seemed kind of late, but what did I know about what time guys' night out should start.

Travis extended his hand and I reached forward, clasping it. "Okay, see you then." He smiled. "I'll let myself out." And with that, he walked out of my kitchen and closed my front door behind him.

I leaned against the counter and crossed my arms over my chest, thinking. For some reason, I didn't have a good feeling about this. But I wrote it off to nerves and went to get in the shower.

At ten minutes past nine, Travis opened my gate and I stood up from the chair on the porch where I had been waiting. I walked up the driveway and locked my gate behind me. Travis had a big, dark silver truck and it was idling on the road. I took a deep breath. The last time I'd been in a car–that I remembered anyway, I didn't think the ambulance counted–was the day that I lost my voice.

I gritted my teeth and climbed up into it, forcing thoughts of that day out of my mind.

Travis revved the engine and started driving.

"So man," he said, looking at me, "you clean up pretty well. You might even be better looking than me." He laughed, but it didn't reach his eyes.

Bree had practically jumped up and down when I told her that I was going out with Travis and his friends, whoever they were. Then she had helped me pick out a decent outfit, not that I had much to choose from.

"Archer," she had asked me, holding up a shirt, "when was the last time you went clothes shopping?"

I had shrugged. My uncle did that. He bought me some stuff when I was eighteen.

She had regarded me quietly for a minute and then said, "And let me guess, you weren't quite as…" she waved her hand toward me, indicating my muscles, I guessed, "developed."

I nodded my head and shrugged.

She sighed as if this was a problem and started digging through my raggedy clothes. Finally she came up with a pair of jeans that was decent and she said could pass for purposefully worn, and a button down shirt I'd forgotten about, that had been a little big on me when my uncle initially bought it.

Bree seemed satisfied and so I was too. Maybe I'd even go into town and pick up a few new things if it made Bree happy that I looked nicer.

Travis turned on a music station on the radio and we drove along just listening to the music for a little while. When I noticed that we were heading out of town, I tapped Travis and pointed at the road and raised my shoulders questioningly.

"We're going to a club on the other side of the lake. It's called Teasers." He looked over at me, raising his eyebrows and then looked back at the road.

After a minute, he looked over at me again. "Can we talk? Man to man?"

I raised my eyebrows, not knowing exactly where this was going and feeling slightly uncomfortable.

"You get physical with Bree yet?"

I glanced quickly over at Travis and back at the road. I didn't especially want to talk to him about this, although if I had fully trusted him, I might have wanted to ask him a question or two. But I didn't. Until he proved otherwise to me, I was going to assume that he was mostly untrustworthy.

"Okay, I get it, you don't want to say anything about Bree." He was silent for a minute. "Can I at least assume you haven't gone all the way?"

I shrugged my shoulders and nodded. I guessed it was okay to tell him what we hadn't done.

He smiled, and in the dim lighting of his truck, his teeth flashed and a shadow crossed his face, and for a second, he looked like one of those evil clowns I saw in the stores at Halloween. I blinked and it was just Travis again.

"I'm assuming you want to though, right?"

I looked over at him and narrowed my eyes, but nodded. Of course I did. Who wouldn't? Bree was sweet and beautiful.

He smiled again. "Okay. Well I'm gonna tell you how it is, Archer, when you're… seeing a girl as beautiful as Bree. She most likely has some experience, and she's going to want you to know what you're doing when you take that big step. That's why I'm taking you to this club. There are women who will let you… practice with them. Get it?"

My heart started pounding in my chest. Not really, I wanted to say. Instead I just stared at him, narrowing my eyes slightly again to let him know he'd need to explain this further. So far, I wasn't liking it. Not one single bit. But most of all, I didn't like thinking about the experience Bree might have, the men she might have been with in the past. In fact, it made my blood run cold and made me feel like I wanted to punch something. I'd rather not think about that at all.

Plus, Bree had told me that it didn't bother her that I didn't have any experience in that area. Had she been telling the truth? Doubts started to settle in my chest, making it difficult to swallow.

Travis seemed to read my thoughts. "Girls will tell you they don't mind if you're inexperienced, but trust me, she's going to appreciate you knowing what you're doing when you get her in bed. You don't want to fumble around like a damn fool with her, do you? Embarrass yourself?"

I looked out the window, wishing I could tell him to turn his damn truck around and take me home. This was not my vision of what tonight was about.

"Hey, don't look so pissed, man. All men do it, trust me. Single, married–my friend, Jason, has been married for almost ten years now, and he still takes advantage of the girls in the back rooms. His wife looks the other way because she benefits from it too. Get it?"

I continued staring out the window, thinking about uncle Nate and how he had gone out sometimes and come back smelling like women's perfume and had lipstick all over his shirt collar. He didn't have a girlfriend or a wife, so he must have been seeing women like the ones Travis said worked at this club we were going to. And Nate was a good man. I wished he was still alive so I could ask him about this.

I knew I wasn't stupid, but I also knew I had a lot to learn. I read all these books constantly, but when it came to the real world, to the way people related to each other, to the way they acted and reacted, I felt like I was constantly playing catch up–I didn't like the way it felt.

We pulled up in front of a building with dark windows and a big parking lot out front. There was a huge pink and black neon sign that said, Teasers, in flashing letters.

We pulled into a parking spot and Travis turned to me. "Listen, don't feel like you have to do anything you're uncomfortable with. But trust me when I say, if you do see someone you like, go for it. Bree will appreciate it. It's what men do, Archer."

I sighed and pulled the door open. I'd go inside with Travis. If nothing else, Bree would be happy that I had the guys' night out she was so enthusiastic about.

We walked up to the door and a big guy with a shaved head and a t-shirt that said, 'employee,' asked for our ID's. Well, there went that. I didn't have an ID. I started to turn around, but Travis grabbed my arm and leaned in and flashed his badge and said something to the big guy. He nodded and waved us in.

Inside the club, the music was blaring–something about sex and candy–and I squinted in the dim lighting as I took in the room. There were small tables placed around a big runway in the center of the room, and my eyes widened as a half-naked woman slid down a gold pole. For a few seconds, I simply stood there and stared at her before Travis grabbed my arm again and pulled me forward to a table where two other guys sat with half-empty drinks in front of them.

"Hey, a*sholes," Travis said, swinging one of the chairs around backwards and sitting down on it, looking at me and pointing to the chair next to him. I took a seat.

"Jason, Brad, this is my cousin, Archer."

"Hey man," Jason said, holding out his hand. "Glad you could join us." I shook it and noticed that Travis had been telling the truth. He wore a wedding ring.

"Nice to meet you," Brad said, and I shook his hand as well.

A waitress came over in what looked to be a swimsuit with a small skirt and asked if we'd like to order drinks.

Travis turned to the girl and glanced at her nametag and said, "Hi, Brenda," and smiled. She giggled and looked around our table.

"Well, you're a fine looking group of boys," she said, grinning at us. I smiled politely back when we made eye contact.

"What can I get you?"

Travis leaned forward. "A round of shots–Cuervo Gold, and a round of Yeungling."

The waitress smiled and went off to get our drinks. Travis chatted with Brad and Jason while I watched the show on stage. As the girl opened her legs and slid slowly down the pole, I felt myself harden slightly in my jeans and scooted in to the table so that the other guys couldn't see. Travis looked over at me and smiled knowingly.

The waitress placed our drinks down on the table and Travis handed her some cash. She leaned over slightly and stuck it down between her large breasts. I swallowed heavily. I didn't know what to think of all this.

Travis turned around and held up the small shot glass and said, "To Archer! And an unforgettable night!" The other guys raised their glasses, laughing and calling, "Hear, hear!" I watched them as they downed the liquid in one quick gulp and then stuck limes in their mouths. I did the same, forcing myself not to spit it out when it burned its way down my throat. My eyes watered, and I stuck the lime in my mouth and sucked out the sour liquid. It helped.

Travis smacked me on the shoulder and said, "That's it!" and raised his beer to me. I picked mine up and raised it to him and took a swallow, grimacing slightly at the taste of that too.

Uncle Nate had been a drinker. He kept it around our house and I had tried it once when I was fifteen or so. He seemed to like it so well. It had tasted like rubbing alcohol to me and I had spit out the first sip I'd taken. Why he liked it so much, I wasn't sure.

I stayed away from it after that. Plus, my dad had been a rip-roaring drunk and I still remembered him coming home, barely able to walk, but still with enough strength to smack my mom around.

I moved those thoughts aside and looked back up to the stage. There was a new girl up there now–petite, with long, light brown hair. She reminded me a little bit of Bree. I watched as she started gyrating to the music, sliding up and down the pole with one leg wrapped around it. She leaned backwards, her hair falling back as she arched all the way over. I brought the beer bottle to my lips and took a huge swallow.

This was all too much–the loud music pumping through the speakers, all the whoops and hollers and loud talk around me, the sights and the sounds overwhelming me, and my body responding to things I wasn't quite sure I was okay with. But the beer seemed to be helping now, making things just foggy enough that all the input was bearable, and some of my confusion seemed unimportant.

When the girl's dance was done, all the guys at the front of the stage leaned forward and started putting dollar bills in her underwear. One waved what looked like a twenty at her and when she crawled over to him, he reached between her legs and stuck it under the material of her crotch. I looked away.

I'd had enough. I didn't have a frame of reference for everything going on, and it made me feel less-than, like everyone here had one up on me. I didn't like it. It was the reason I stayed on my own plot of land and didn't attempt to interact with anyone. The last thing I needed was another reason to feel like everyone except me knew what the hell was going on.

I turned to Travis, starting to stand up, pointing to the door. Travis pushed my shoulder roughly, and I sat back down on the chair hard, my jaw clenching.

He leaned toward me, pursing his lips and taking one shoulder between his fingers and thumb as I narrowed my eyes at him. If he thought he was going to keep me here against my will, he had another thing coming. I'd hitchhike home if I had to.

"Listen, bro," he said quietly so the other guys couldn't hear, I guessed, although they were busy whooping and hollering at the girl on stage. "You think Bree doesn't enjoy a little something on the side right now? In fact, I should know." He looked at me knowingly and leaned in closer. "I love how her lips taste like peaches."

My eyes flared and my gut clenched. He had kissed Bree?

Travis sighed. "I'm just trying to help you out, Archer. Bree doesn't think you can satisfy her, and so she comes where she knows she's gonna get what she needs." He raised his eyebrows, obviously indicating himself. "And as it is, you probably can't give that to her. That's why I brought you here, man."

I sat back in my chair, frowning back up at the stage where a brunette was bent over a chair. Bree was kissing other men? Bree was kissing Travis? Anger raged through my bloodstream. But maybe I couldn't blame her. Maybe I was reading her all wrong–I thought she liked what we did together, but how the hell did I really know? How could I not be coming across as a complete and utter novice? She probably was bored.

Another round of beers showed up at our table and I took a big drink of the full beer in front of me.

I was unhappy and angry about the thought of Bree with Travis, but the alcohol and the girls on stage were making the blood flowing through my veins feel hot–and I was turned on. I wanted nothing more than to go home to Bree. I wanted to kiss her and taste her everywhere. I wanted her to take me in her mouth again… but I wanted to know that I was doing it right. I didn't want to feel like the virgin I was.

The girl up on stage ran her hands up her own breasts and then grabbed the pole and mimicked the sex act on it. I was fully hard under the table. Getting up and leaving wasn't an option just then.

The other guys were still splitting half their attention between the stage and half their attention amongst each other, chatting and laughing loudly. I wasn't listening to them anymore. I continued drinking–the taste of it had grown on me.

A blond that had been up on stage a little earlier came up to our table and leaned down to whisper in Jason's ear. He laughed and got up, following her through a door next to the stage. I glanced at Travis, and he raised his eyebrows at me, grinning broadly. He leaned toward me. "I have a surprise for you," he said loudly over the music. "I think you'll like it."

He looked behind him and signaled to someone and a minute later a girl walked over to our table. She smiled at me and I stared at her–she looked so familiar.

Travis leaned forward. "Archer, you remember Amber Dalton? She works here now."

Amber Dalton–the girl I had had a crush on when I was fourteen. The one Travis humiliated me in front of. The liquor coursing through my system must have been the reason I felt no embarrassment in front of her. I just continued to look at her, taking in her shoulder length black hair, and those same large, brown eyes that I had loved all those years ago. She was still as pretty as I remembered her.

"Archer Hale?" she whispered, her eyes widening. "My God, I had no idea." Her eyes swept over me. "Well, you grew up just fine, didn't you?" She smiled, and I couldn't help the pleasure that swept through me. It felt like what happened all those years ago had been made okay by the appreciation of my physical appearance shining in her eyes.

"Amber," Travis cut in, "I do believe Archer is ready for that private time I discussed with you." He winked at her.

My head seemed to clear a little and I shook it no, and held out my hand to shake hers–my 'nice to see you again' gesture.

Instead, she ignored my outstretched hand and planted herself on my lap, the overwhelming scent of sweet vanilla wafting off of her. I stiffened slightly, not knowing what I should do with my hands other than keep them hanging by my sides.

"Sounds great!" she crooned, leaning closer and wiggling down on my still semi-hard erection. I sucked in a breath. This felt weird, but good. I wasn't sure what to do.

As the music pumped steadily in the background, Amber leaned in to me and whispered in my ear, "Damn, you're gorgeous, Archer. And your body…" She trailed a finger down my chest. "You know I liked you all those years ago, right? I saw how you watched me down by the lake. I wanted you to come out… but you never did…"

I watched her finger as it moved steadily down my chest to end at the waistband of my jeans where she dipped it just a little bit inside, and then started moving back up my chest. Now I was fully hard again.

"Go on you two." Travis laughed. "Have fun."

Amber jumped off my lap and stood up and yanked me up too. I walked slightly behind her to hide my condition, swaying slightly. Damn, I was drunker than I thought.

Amber led me through the same door Jason had disappeared through, down a long, dim hallway and then pulled me in through a door on the left, shutting it behind her.

There was a chair in the middle of the room and she walked me to it, and then pushed me down gently.

She walked over to a table and fiddled around with something and a minute later, music started wafting through the speakers on the wall. The music was nice this time though–not overly loud and overwhelming. I felt better in here.

Amber walked toward me and I forced my eyes not to droop. It felt like the blood in my veins was buzzing, but I felt numb at the same time.

She straddled my lap and her perfume wafted up at me again, tickling my nose. She swayed to the music for a few minutes, closing her eyes and leaning back so that I could study her. She was pretty, but not like Bree. Now that I was looking at her up close under lights that were a little brighter than out by the stage, I didn't like all the makeup on Amber's face, and I thought there was something a little harsh about the way she looked–something different than when she was a teenager.

She swayed back up until she was completely upright and brought the front of her tank top down. Her breasts popped out and she grabbed my hands herself and planted them on her. My dick throbbed in my jeans. I rubbed her nipples the way Bree liked and Amber tossed her head back, moaning. I squeezed her lightly. Her breasts were bigger than Bree's, but they felt different–not soft, but almost overly-firm, and the skin stretched and shiny.

Amber opened her eyes and brought her head up and then studied me, her eyes dropping as she licked her lips. "You know," she said, unbuttoning the top couple buttons on my shirt, "we're just supposed to give lap dances in here, but Travis tipped me extra to give you anything you want." She reached her hand down and rubbed me through my jeans. My eyes fell closed and I panted out harshly.

"God, you're big, honey," she breathed out, running her lips down the side of my neck now. She sucked the skin there, making me jump slightly when I felt her teeth nip me. "Mmm," she moaned, rubbing herself against me. "I can't wait to ride that big, thick cock of yours, gorgeous. Do you like it fast and wild or slow and deep? Hmmm?" She crooned. "We're gonna find out, aren't we, baby?"

My body reacted to her words, but inside, something about this felt wrong. I didn't even know this girl. Was I really supposed to use her for sex and then go home to Bree, the girl I actually cared about? Is that really what Jason did with his wife? I wanted Bree to see me like she saw other men–I didn't want her to want to kiss Travis–but this, this seemed… God, I couldn't think through the alcohol and the way Amber was rubbing me through my jeans. All my thoughts were jumbled together, my emotions all over the place. I needed to get out of this room. I'd just get this over with and go home. And then first thing in the morning, I'd go to Bree.

I stumbled out of the room ten minutes later and went to find Travis. He was still at the table we had been sitting at, a redhead sitting on his lap. I tapped him on his shoulder, and he looked back over at me and a huge smile came over his face. He nudged the redhead off his lap and said, "Ready to go home, buddy?"

I nodded, frowning. That's all I wanted, just to get out of here and go to Bree. I wanted to hold her. Depression swept through me when I thought about what I'd done with Amber. I tried to move that aside though–I hadn't done anything the other men at the club had done, apparently. And I'd seen plenty of wedding rings here. Evidently, wives accepted that kind of thing. I guessed I really was a freak, though, because I wouldn't do it again. I felt empty and unhappy… and ashamed.

We drove across the bridge to Pelion. Travis was silent the entire trip, a small smile curving his mouth up. I didn't care what the hell he was smiling about–the alcohol was making me sleepy, and I rested my head against the window and closed my eyes, thinking of Bree.

Travis shook me what seemed like a few seconds later, and I blearily opened his door and stepped out. Right before I closed it, Travis winked at me and said, "Let's do this again, bro." I didn't acknowledge his words, just turned my back on his truck. It was then that I noticed that we were in front of Bree's cottage. I turned around to get back in Travis's truck, but he revved the engine and I stumbled back as he peeled off noisily.